Father's day BS
So my skids (SS17 and SD21) have never done anything for their dad for Father's day. My kids (DS14 and DD17) have always done something for their step dad, they know he's a great guy. The issue is my DH ignores the kind gestures from my bios and spends all of his time moping about how his kids forgot him.
Umm, DH...wake the hell up! They have always treated you like shit. They don't respect you because you parent out of guilt and give in to avoid conflict. How about you friggin pay attention to people who care about you and treat you with love and respect EVERY. DAY. OF. THE. YEAR.
Part of me want to tell skids to get off their lazy, selfish butts and do something for their dad. But, another part of me says screw that. DH needs to see (again) the assholes his kids really are. I just feel really sorry for him.
I'm sure as hell not hosting anything for DH to invite his kids to. Not my job. I just don't want DH to feel neglected by me, too. What do you all do about Father's Day.
I know the feeling! BD23 and
I know the feeling! BD23 and BD19 have always made things for DH, and when they started working, bought him Father's Day presents. SD15 doesn't do jack on Father's Day but something to irritate DH. No card, no present...doesn't even make him anything. And considering I'm in a seminar this weekend, I'm sure she will either hide out in her room for Father's day, or try to convince him they need to go shopping...FOR HER. Not happening!
Same here. My bios always
Same here. My bios always treat SO well on Father's Day while his kids ignore the day. BMs bday is the same week and they all bust their butts making it fantastic for her. Even used to try to get money out of him for her bday and ignore him on Father's Day. Great kids :jawdrop: SD15 is the only one living with us EOWeek and she could care less. Doesn't even make an effort to but him a freakin card. Oh she did one year and it was gag worthy about how lucky he was to have the best daughter in the world. :sick:
We will be at my DD college grad this weekend so it won't be so obvious he is getting ignored by his kids. So that will be good for SO. Next Monday SD15 comes home and I'm sure she will be all nicely nice about making plans for him. I'm disengaged from her so they can go out and celebrate together if he wants to.
Both skids made such a HUGE
Both skids made such a HUGE deal out of Mother's Day for their mom. Pix on Fbook and tons of "We have the BEST mom in the world" comments :sick:
It's disgusting how they fall all over her and make a big deal about special days for her and then ignore their dad. Why be mean? What are you getting out of it? Really, what?
I feel your pain! SD15 barely
I feel your pain! SD15 barely calls her dad on special occasions. I don't care if she acknowledges me or not, but it breaks my heart every year to watch him wait for his precious perfect to call him. Last Father's Day we were supposed to have dinner with my Dad...was planned for weeks. An hour before we were supposed to leave he said he wasn't going 'in case she called and he wasn't home, she would be upset she missed him'. She knew about the dinner; actually was invited but didn't want to come because she had plans with HER stepdad. She couldn't find 5 minutes in the morning to call her dad so he could go to the dinner? Nope. I went to dinner alone and he didn't hear from her till after 10pm. A text that said 'happy fd luv ya'. I have a feeling it will be the same this year but I told him he WILL be joining us for dinner this year.
I think you are just as
I think you are just as emotionally confused as your DH. You don't want him to have a good Father's Day, you want him to recognize the things your kids do and stop whining about his. If you really wanted him to have a good Father's Day, you would get his kids on board and encourage them to help celebrate the day with him, along with your kids. THAT would make his Father's Day. You say you feel sorry for him, but really you feel sorry for yourself and your kids for not getting recognized by him. You have to be the bigger person in order to make his day.
I TOTALLY disagree here. I
I TOTALLY disagree here. I would absolutely LOVE it if my skids remembered their dad on Father's day. That would make him so happy! Which would make me happy. Additionally, I know exactly how I feel and how DH feels when his kids treat him like shit. ANd after being told at least 300 times to butt out and stop being a mom by his kids, I am doing just that. It's not about being the bigger person here. His kids are old enough (17 & 21) to know how to acknowledge their dad on special occasions. They don't need or want me to be involved. If I said a word, they would do the opposite just to spite ME. My kids are spending Father's day with their dad, like they should and like I encourage. It's not their job or mine to pick up the slack of the skids. It's on them.
I second that. It is hard to
I second that. It is hard to want to get involved to make the skids do something nice for their Dad's,when the Dad's have allowed this behavior. I have the same issue, except it's not the SD15 telling me to butt out, its my fiance, her dad, telling me to stay out of any issues with his daughter and BM. Does anyone think it's wrong of me if I don't acknowledge Father's day? I usually get him a gift and card, but with his approach of non involving me in matters of his daughter and always taking her's and her Mother's word and opinions over mine, I don't feel like I should celebrate him as a father as he and I don't have any children together. I don't have any children yet. I don't want to celebrate a day for a role that he won't allow me to be a part of. Any advice would be so helpful. Thanks
If he told you to stay out,
If he told you to stay out, then by all means, listen to him. My DH told me to butt out and when I did - in a BIG way - he got the message loud and clear and came around. He said he didn't need my help. So, there was no dinner waiting for him at night when he got home, his shirts were still at the cleaners, his laundry was in a heap on his side of the bed, etc...yeah, right...you don't need my help. Give him what he's asking for. If it's what he truly wants, he'll be grateful. If he didn't mean it quite that literally, he'll see the error of his ways soon enough. Good Luck!
I can only add what my two
I can only add what my two have told me. Father's Day has always been a bitter day for them. They had (when they were younger) spent FD with their Dad, and always had a card & gift for him. It was somehow always an issue - too nice/not nice enough compared to what the ssibs got, not allowed to make Dad breakfast for Dad as it would make the ssibs feel badly (who were apparently w/their Dad anyway), etc. And yes, this was from Dad/SM directly. I offered to have SMom take them out to get something "appropriaste" (and I would send them with $) - Nope. So what do you do?
Mine are 20 and 22, and I do remind them when it's a holiday that they should call him, but I no longer force the issue. No longer my problem. He can reap what they sowed.