Foster Care arrangements?
Just wanting to know if anyone here on this forum has had any dealings with their SS or SD's going into foster care? What happens and is there a "right to return" policy by the kid to have the freedom to come back home if he gets sick of his/her foster care family? Can it be for temporary times (eg for 3 weeks then he/she has to come home?)...how much attention is paid to the kid being an obnoxious shit and doing all of this just to hurt his father?
SS15 recently took lots of paracetamol and checked himself into a hospital and now declares he wants to go into foster care ....his BM has issued a restraining order on him recently and his father is the only one willing to care for him....SS15 is manipulative and hates his father and his sisters....BM has told SS15 that his father isnt his real father...and SS15 has said to his father that he wishes he was dead (along with BM too) and that he is only using him for money...
Im gathering all this abusive behavior is aimed wholly at his BM who abandoned him to prefer to live with the BF. She is just a highly manipulative as her own son...two peas in a pod. So wanting to go into foster care is more about saying..."look at me...no one cares about me...poor me...come and get me BM"
Doesn't matter anymore....the
Doesn't matter anymore....the psychologists and staff from the hospital put him on a bus and "sent him home" without even calling the father....the kid just turned up on the doorstep acting like nothing had happened!! FML
Definitely MarieJeanne...this
Definitely MarieJeanne...this is what he has done so many times before and its never anything harmful and is a pathetic attempt to make it all about him. It would be different if the kid was actually a nice kid to be around and we would respond to his "cries for help"...but its more about power, manipulation and attention.
I tried to get the father to be more proactive...I guess he just couldnt bring himself to say to the authorities....I dont want my son back. Well..too late. He is back now
In the US we have all kinds
In the US we have all kinds of amazing options for out of control kids.
Full lockdown and restraint facilities where the staff can and do what they feel necessary to get the kid under control, hold the kid accountable and forcibly extricate the kids head from their own ass.
Weekend or longer boot camps. These are good. Big, mean, screaming, slobbering former military DIs on their case all weekend long. Often a tear slathered kid comes home from one of these weekends begging for forgiveness and ready to do what they are told when they are told.
Scared straight. These programs are used for kids at extreme risk of tipping over the lign to career violent crime. Parents drop the kid off at prison where they are inprocessed with a goop of other kids with chronic Cranio-Rectitis and then they spend some period of time being abused by the inmates. Nothing horrible of course. The inmates in the program are vetted and trained on how to confront, scare the shit out of, and torment the kids without crossing any legal or moral lines all under the supervision of counselors and corrections officers.
Military school. This is a long term option that puts the kid in an environment where they are fully accountable for their own behavior and performance. They are rewarded for positive performance and live a life of abject misery for poor performance. It worked wonders for my dad, my brother, my Skid, and me. A great family tradition that develops adults of character. Not necessarily prohibitively expensive either.
Forced emancipation. For kids that think that they are ready to be an adult and push the parents too far the parents have the option of going to court and having the child emancipated as an adult. If granted the kid no longer a dependent and is on their own. Usually this is only possible if the kid is in their late teens 16-17 and there is a history of marginal behavior with the kid behaving notably older than their age. e.g. A good friend of mine emancipated his 17yo daughter after she manipulated her high school attendence records while making straight A's for two full years. She graduated a year early. Though a high honors student she spent much of her Jr. year of HS in class at the district detention campus over her attendance fraul issues. She hated that so she took extra dual credit classes at the local JC in the evenings and graduated a year early. My friend was done with her at that point, did not want her polluting his two younger children still at home and emancipated her shortly after her 17th birthday.
Etc……….
I have never heard of a kid being able to invoke foster care upon themselves unless there is truly an issue of neglect and safety at home.
Anyway, check your options and invoke whatever help you need to extricate this kid's head from his own ass.
Good luck.
Thank you for the time and
Thank you for the time and effort you all took to respond....but its all for nothing now anyway as he is back...until the next installment and until the father learns to put the foot down. They were All wonderful suggestions and I so wish we had access to facilities and services such as those in USA....we dont have anything like what you are describing and our services are sadly lacking.
This kid is destined for crime in the future....crime and drugs. He thinks he is so gansta.
I want nothing to do with them anymore anyway. They have made their bed so now they both have to deal with the consequences. I cant be around the kid...I cant stand him so there is no future unless he is gone.