I can help you figure out what your teen is thinking

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I am a fifteen year old girl, and I was mindlessly searching the web when I came across this forum. I was reading some of the teenager forum topics, and some of the answers made my blood churn as a teen. I would like to help people figure out what the right course of action to take with their teen. I like to help people, and hopefully I can help you . Have a nice day.

I didn't mean to imply that,

I didn't mean to imply that, but we do have similar hormones acting up and all that jazz, and our minds are at similar developmental stages, so the basics are similar, but of course every individual is unique.

Please tell us! I'm 35, so

Please tell us! I'm 35, so I'm kind of old and need a refresher about teens Seriously, please do stay. It could help to get a perspective from someone who's actually a teen, and help us understand any and all teens a bit more.

Well (for me at least) I'm

Well (for me at least) I'm the center of the universe (or so my parents tell me), but that doesn't mean that I don't care about my parents. I really recently started to be truly grateful for them being so understanding and generous and loving. My brother is 13, and can't quite see it yet, but don't worry, the hating your parents phase is just that, a phase.

No, my parents are not

No, my parents are not divorced.

I completely hear what you're

I completely hear what you're saying, I realize that I'm not the optimal person to talk to, but if someone's having trouble reading what their teen is feeling I can (hopefully ) be of service. The reason I actually created an account was because I was reading threads about how people were trying to punish their teens, and those things sounded utterly ridiculous. I realize that the family situation is utterly different from the one I'm a part of, and a lot of the issues that people talk about on here is a direct result of being a step-parent. I am happy to help with whatever questions (relating to teenagerdom) that anyone may have, and I fully recognize that I have nothing that could be of use to say on the part of teenagers with stepparents.

What do you suggest as

What do you suggest as punishments when needed? What would be effective?

Well confiscating electronics

Well confiscating electronics (or monitering) can work, but I think that it should relate at least a little bit to the crime. If your kid is a latchkey kid this won't work though, because they can just do whatever they want. It's really important to keep doors open, and if your kid has been being reclusive and mopey requiring an open door to their room might help. The most important thing though, even though it sounds tedious, is to have a short conversation to make sure your kid knows what they did wrong, and even discussing possible punishments with them that they might deem appropriate. Obviously you don't have to listen, but that encourages openness and makes us feel like we have a voice. Also discussing what to do differently, and if they're rude to you during that conversation start revoking priveledges, but only if necessary, because that can cause a lot of resentment

I understand what you are

I understand what you are saying and I agree about the openness and discussing. Unfortunately, resentment is the reason a lot of these teens act out in the first place. They resent the divorce and they resent their parents dating and marrying other people. They're angry and they seem to want to stay that way.

I believe that is true (from

I believe that is true (from my limited knowledge). The only advice I can think of is to sit down with them and have a family discussion about the root of the anger and resentment. I don't know if this will work, but if you decide to do this stating that you aren't trying to replace anybody, that you and your spouse are in love and you are making eachother happier, and you hope s/he can respect that, even if they can't fully accept your role in the family. Also we don't like to be spoken to condescendingly. If you talk to your child as if they're mature hopefully they will act it.

I'm sure you've tried everything in the book, and teenagers are horrible, and disagreeable, but we are human. It's important to remember that even though your stepkid may act like a monster s/he is human, and being a teenager is one of the most difficult times in life. I wish you luck in dealing with your kid and helping him/her see how they're treating you is unfair, and really has nothing to do with you as a person, it's just the idea of a step parent that they don't like. Once they realize that the road will hopefully smooth out for your entire family.

Nope, haven't tried anything

Nope, haven't tried anything in the book. My SD is not a monster and not a teenager, I was just wondering what your infinite wisdom was.

I get frusterated easily at

I get frusterated easily at my family, but it's usually because of other reasons, and if they are annoying me and I lash out it's because that was sort of the last straw, but the other things that lead me to be upset were unrelated. It's easy to lash out at the people who are nearest to you, especially those who you know will stay supportive through thick and thin, no matter what hell you put them through. If your teen gets frusterated I know it's difficult, but you could try to think of it as a compliment, they know deep down that you're there for them always

It is completely different in

It is completely different in a step situation. Teens usually do not feel this way about a step parent.

I'm just speaking for myself.

I'm just speaking for myself. I lash out at the people near me, not for any particular reason other than that they are the most accessible

And you'd be blaming everyone

And you'd be blaming everyone for not showing you enough 'respect'.

Ok good I am not the only one

Ok good I am not the only one thinking this.

That term caught my

That term caught my attention, too!

Crew? Is that you?

BAHAHAHAHA

Wahahahahahahahaha LOVE

Wahahahahahahahaha

LOVE THIS

Lily goes quiet - I was thinking exactly the same

Sheeeesh this girl is a 40 year old in 15 year olds body

Wakakakakaakakaka

This just made my day

Feeling so much better about my crap now!

By all means keep responding

By all means keep responding to questions you receive in this Thread you've started. Afterwards if you still have time go through the questions in the teen thread and read the problems/questions and if you believe you can help people understand how a teen might think about a situation give us you two cents worth as we used to say in the 50's. I've little doubt your opinion can be of great help.

But beware, and perhaps I don't need to warn you, people can be vicious, rude, and many other things when they have anonymity of guard them. Also sometimes they're doing the wrong thing and don't want to be told that. They just want people to tell them they're right and so-and-so is wrong.

Tell it how you see it, you're entitled to your opinion. Your point of view can be most valuable to use here. Start out each entry you write by saying your age and sex so people will understand that you can see things from a unique point of view and don't be turned away by some people when they act like idiots or use unnecessary language.

Welcome

Well I would keep responding

Well I would keep responding to actual questions about how teenagers think, but as there have been none I don't think it is of use to respond to people who want to prove that my existence is false because I can spell, or that I created some other thread as a biological mom. However, if people want me to attempt to help them using the limited knowledge I have which only includes how teenage girls think (not how to parent, not what it's like to have a stepparent) then I am of course completely willing to help.

What a crock...A cocky teen

What a crock...A cocky teen is going to give advice about a situation that doesn't relate to her perfect life in anyway...

Seriously, kid go to Ivillage, I am sure their is plenty of forums there that you can apply your wisdom to. I personally can not stand teenage girl for good reason. Manipulative brats.

So you think you know teenage girls and how best to parent them? My brat of a SD turned 14 and sued us to live with the mom with no rules. She is flunking classes and is hopefully still going to graduate and get into the only college that will take her. She parties and does drugs. Every time we have tried to have a relationship, she uses us. To the point of a very expensive vacation ruined because she tried to hit me in the middle of NY and had to be put on a plane home. Which is what she wanted so she could go to a party.

How exactly do you parent her? You have no clue what stepparents are dealing with. Go find another site to give your wisdom, I am sure it will be appreciated.

As for the Board, delete this crazy!