That's enough of am adjustment period. Stop cooking for them. In fact, I would recommend that you need to show DH that he must not take you for granted. Can you go to the gym after work or some book club or coffee shop and get on ST! Make him miss you.

So go for a walk. Take up hiking. Or fishing. Or start painting. Start riding horses ( I highly recommend this one!. If you are in the boonies, get a job on a farm. Trust me, it's AWESOME.

Quit whining (yes, you are being whiny)and looking for excuses and just DO something.

And no, you do not HAVE to be responsible for child care. What if you weren't there? What if you left? Died? Got a job? He would find somehow to manage. So make him find a way to manage.

And I'm 42, and I have friends in their 60's. Most of them are way cooler than I am! Stop being such a wuss and go meet people and get a life!

How many miles are you from an area that has something of interest going on? If every evening is spent with husband and son bonding sessions going on , I would be using the time to persue my own interests. Involvement with a charity, hospice, animal group, church group, gym, cooking groups, quilting and sewing groups, getting involved with your community and school groups which puts you in contact with other parents your age. If there is a school system, there are other parents. How far do your own grown children live from you? Visit or call them during the evening hours.

Hell, even if you live in the middle of no where, you can find something constructive to do online. I run a charity, and you know who one of the BIGGEST helpers I have is? A volunteer who lives two hours away and writes lovely handwritten thank you notes to donors on behalf of the organization. Once every two weeks she drops off the cards she has done, and picks up more blank ones. I mail them for her. She feels like she is making a difference, and SHE IS!!! Her personal touch has increased our funding by 20%.

So there ARE things you can do. Think outside the box.

Hey, since it's a retirement community, volunteer at hospice as someone suggested. Find your local agency of aging and volunteer or start your own business providing services like taking to the doctor or grocery store.

Be proactive about joining SO and SS. Don't wait for them to ask you.

Have you tried joining their conversation or activity? I realize you run the risk of making SS mad - but it might be worth a try. Or - ask them to help you do something. Men usually like to help. Think of an activity you could all do together.

If that doesn't work, then you need to get a life outside of your house. The military base must be within driving distance. Do they have any sort of a spouse support group? If not, there might be volunteer opportunities. Aren't there jobs for civilians on some bases?

Ugh this is reason #1 I dumped my exbf. It is a horrible feeling. You expected things to be different, and there he is best buds with a kid you didn't expect to be in your house full time, excluding you completely. I have no better advice than that already offered. I got out. You got married. I take marriage pretty seriously, but if you hadn't already married, I'd tell you to run and never look back. You've been duped.

Quit making dinner. Leave the house in the AM and don't return until just before bed time. When DH says something about it tell him that you are not married to spend your days alone and when he is ready to step up and start being your husband again you might find the time and interest to be there. Since he has made your standing in his life perfectly clear, give him clarity that your give a shit is directly tied to his demonstrated commitment to making you and your marriage together his sole and only priority. The 14yo Skid can be the top marital responsibility but never the priority.

Do not cave on this. Stick to your guns.

Enjoy doing the things you like doing and don't worry about the house, their meals, etc.... Go where you want to go, do what you want to do and let them rot until DH catches a clue. Go to the spa, your favorite café for lunch, your favorite sushi place for dinner, go to the library and dive into books, or B&N for books and coffee, go to the yoga studio, work out at the gym, etc..... When DH pulls his head out, then and only then do you throw him a bone, a small bone at first, and start to engage in his life again.

IMHO of course.