Mayhem at my house
Se 14 is so damn manipulative, and husband doesn't have a clue how to deal with it!
Last night BM called. SD wanted to play club volleyball (which costs $600 to $1300 and runs November through April). Husband said yes (of course), but SD didn't make the club she tried out for. BM lives an hour away and is supposed to have SD most weekends.
Turns out SD lied to BM and husband. Tried out for club volleyball in BM's town, even though she lives and goes to school in our town. Told BM that husband agreed to bring her to practices during the week (two-hour drive).
So BM called last night and husband told her he never agreed. She reamed him for communicating through SD, even though that's how they both do it. SD worked both sides.
So husband is mad and BM is mad. Somehow, during the conversation, BM began talking about how bad of a stepparent I am. How does that have anything to do with the situation?
Husband hasn't asked me my opinion yet. What do you all think? I think SD should be punished for lying, something husband never does. And I don't think he should budge on the volleyball issue. If her mom signed her up and wants her to go, her mom should be responsible.
I don't think he should budge either.....
And I think SD should be called out for lying, absolutely. And, this is also very important, husband should be told that he needs to stick up for his wife when his ex-wife disses her. How dare she judge you and your step-parenting skills. She probably doesn't have the guts to be a step parent, does she? But boy oh boy she can criticise the role.
He called
Husband is trying to decide what to do. He has pretty much given up and plans to let SD go live with her mom. His problem is, mom doesn't supervise her AT ALL. It's party central at BM's house, as far as SD is concerned. He's trying to decide whether to let her go there now (between Christmas and New Years) or wait until end of school year.
I told him if it was me, I would have to deal with the fact that she lied to both BM and her father. He says he will "talk to her" tonight. Whatever. I also told him that he needs to keep up his end of the deal, but no more. He told SD he could take her up there, max, one night a month. I said he needs to stick with that, and if BM isn't willing to pick up the slack, that is BM's problem.
He still thinks they will make him out to be the bad guy. I say SD is the bad guy for playing both sides against the middle, and BM is the bad guy for saying husband is a bad dad if he doesn't go along with it.