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My wife and I have been together for several years and recently were married. She has three children from her previous marriage. A 21 year old boy, an 18 year old boy and a 16 year old girl. I have two children from my previous marriage. A 14 year old boy and a 16 year old daughter. My children live 20 miles away with their biological mother.
Prior to getting married we sat down with all of the children and told them of our plan. All of the children were fine with the plan or at least it appeared they were fine with the plan...
My wife's 16 year old daughter lives with us. After we were married and they moved in my SD began to show some hostility towards both me and her mother. My SD and her mother have always been very close. They will often sleep together and lay on the couch together and watch TV. My SD has always been given everything she wants. She has two horses, a Range Rover and until recently attended a private school. I say "until recently attended a private school" because she had some problems with the girls at the school "talking" about her. Her mother immediately withdrew her from the school and she has now began "online" schooling. She never did attend public school because she also had a problem with a group of girls in middle school. These same girls were to attend her high school. She told her mother that she would not attend that particular high school because of these girls. Irgo, her mother enrolled her in the private school...
Fast forward to this past week... Last Wednesday night my wife took my SD to one of her riding lessons. My SD advised my wife she was not going to go home because she felt it was not fair that my wife did not talk to her more about the marriage and she does not want to live with me. I have always gotten along well with my SD. My wife was out with her for a few hours "talking" to her about the situation. During this time I was trying to reach my wife but she would not answer her cell phone as she did not want to further upset the SD. We had brief "texts" back and forth as to where she was and when she was going to be home. Thursday night my SD insisted my wife sleep with her in her room to which my wife obliged. Friday night they left for an overnight trip so that my SD could show her horses. My wife and I were invited to a party a friend's house Saturday night. The SD did not want my wife to go to the party. We attended anyway... The entire time we were at the party the SD called and sent texts to my wife and I about how we ruined her life, how I am not her father, etc... The SD's biological father lives in another state and has not really been involved in her life for the past 10+ years. My wife and I ended up leaving the party early so that we could return home.
Upon returning home from the party Saturday night we went into the SD's room and both of us laid on the bed beside her reassuring her this was a good thing and it would just take some time to adjust. I had my arm across her and my wife was rubbing her leg. The SD had the covers pulled over her face the entire time and would not speak to us.
Sunday morning all hell broke loose. The SD told my wife that I was feeling her breast through the covers and she better do something about it. She was screaming at the top of her lungs "your husband assaulted me and you are doing nothing about it. What kind of mother are you?" My wife told her that she was in the room the entire time and no such thing happened. The SD came out of her room and hurled a glass bottle from upstairs down into the foyer resulting in broken glass all over the foyer, family room and my wife's office. My wife went into the SD's room and she was attacked with the SD hitting and kicking her. The SD also kicked two holes in the wall of her room.
The SD also sent a text to me saying "you better tell the truth before I report both of you. you for assault and her for witnessing and allowing. you know you rubbed my boobs and grabbed my boob last night. Be a f-cking man and own up to what you did". Of course there is absolutely no truth to the allegation.
Later Sunday night she came down stairs and demanded my wife lay on the couch with her to watch TV. Of course my wife did so... I went upstairs and my wife came into the room and said they were going in the SD's room to watch a movie. Of course, my wife says she fell asleep and ended up sleeping with the SD again...
What has me really concerned is my wife recently took a job that requires her to travel out of town 21 of 28 days. In other words she is gone 75% of the time. I am concerned the SD is going to throw out further accusations when it is just her and I in the house.
PLEASE any advice regarding this situation will be greatly appreciated!!!
You must leave your wife immediately. Get yourself out of the house or kick the two of them out. Instantly. Your wife is a terrible mother. You will end up in jail if you don't do this.
And never, ever lay on a 16 year old girl's bed ever again in your life. I don't care if the Pope, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and the entire cast of Sesame Street are in there with you. Just. Don't. Do. It.
Eeeeeeeeeeever.
Really, put physical distance between you and that girl, don't even finish reading this post, just runnnnnn! Deal with divorce or whatever AFTER you do that. If you want to conduct your marriage to this woman from behind a prison cell, just keep hoping things will get better with this kid and her mom. The jail cell will come to you soon enough after that.
Come on folks... Up until last Wednesday night I have always had a good relationship with my SD. Of course, that was before her mother and I were married. When we spoke with all of the kids to announce our plans for marriage they were all good with it. It was not until last Wednesday evening that my SD began to show hostility.
My wife and I, obviously, discussed how we felt the kids would be react and which ones we felt may object. To our surprise the other four have been happy about our blending. Of course, my wife's boys are already on their own and my two live with their biological mother. During our discussions we never thought the SD would react in such a way. She is normally very reserved and well behaved kid. Of course, she is used to getting her way and what she wants.
We feel that she is reacting in such a way that she feels her mother is being taken away from her. My "parenting style" is just the opposite of my wife's. I don't "negotiate" with my kids and when I tell them "no" they, typically, don't ask a second time as the know "no" means "no" and that I will not "give in". It is the way my parents were with me so it is the only way I know... However, I have never attempted to be an authority figure to my SD. I do suggest things to my wife in how she reacts to the kids but I do it between my wife and I not directly to my SD.
We have tried to reinforce to my SD that I am not trying to take her mother away from her but that she is getting the benefit of having a man in her life, as I stated before her biological father has never been there for her, as well as gaining two siblings.
Getting a divorce from my wife simply is not an option. I love my wife dearly and she has had to deal with many obstacles with her ex husband not being there to "back her up" with the kids.
We are planning to get my SD into counseling. I have already planned to have absolutely no, I mean zero, physical contact with my SD. Until we are able to get her started in counseling is there anything, and I mean anything, you all would suggest other than what has been stated?
Your SD is suddenly screaming ASSAULT. Your wife is going to be gone 21 days out of 28 leaving you alone with the SD.
It doesn't matter that you plan to have "absolutely no, I mean zero, physical contact" with your SD. The fact is YOU WILL BE ALONE IN THE HOUSE WITH HER FOR 21 DAYS and she will say whatever she wants to if she plans to continue with the assault accusations.
You may love your wife dearly, but it seems like your SD wants you to love your wife from behind bars. It would be insanely stupid of you to stay in the house alone with this kid.
You love your wife dearly, but it sounds like she spends more time sleeping with SD than you.
Marriage counseling would be a really good idea, but DO NOT stay in that house alone with SD or you are in for a world of hurt.
I have to agree, counseling is really needed here! The fact that it seems your wife spends more time sleeping with her 16 YEAR OLD than you...her husband...is really disturbing! I can tell you that my husband would NEVER stand for anything like that!
And these allegations are serious! If your wife is not going to be home but a week a month, you cannot be left alone with this girl! I'm sorry, but if my child were having these kinds of issues and making these kinds of allegations against my husband, I would not be leaving! True or not, I would be concerned. This is a bomb waiting to go off!
Well, sir, 2 minutes after that girl tells her story to the counselor you are planning to get her there will be cops at your door.
The counselor is a mandated reporter. She can NOT choose to keep the story to herself or decide the girl is lying or wonder if she should get to the know girl better first or call you in and hear your side first.
M.A.N.D.A.T.E.D.
There WILL be an investigation. Your wife has 16 years of saying "how high?" when her daughter says "jump!" How fun do you think this investigation is going to be for you with mommy torn between you two?
Get outta that house. Date your wife from afar if you must, but never ever be around that girl again till she's past 21.
you lost me at "both of us laid on the bed beside her reassuring her this was a good thing and it would just take some time to adjust. I had my arm across her and my wife was rubbing her leg."
You cannot tolerate this manipulation from SD-16, your bride not putting her foot up this kid's ass, or expose yourself any further to her bullshit molestation claims.
She is out ... NOW. Whether he has been in her life or not she can go live with daddy. If you stay in this situation you are going to end up on the Perv list, will never find another job, and will suffer for the rest of your life.
This is nothing more than a manipulative, evil, toxic, teen playing her I wanna be in control cards.
Destroy her, before she destroys you.
IMHO of course.
Really, you must protect yourself from this little manipulative POS kid.
They only get worse. I have
They only get worse. I have an SD13 and an SD19.
Was your post very long? Sometimes they won't take if they're lengthy. Before trying to post, Hold down Control and press "A". This will highlight ALL of the post. Then hold down Control and press "C" to COPY. Then if your post doesn't take, you can paste it in the comments.
Some people copy it to a Word Doc on their computer first. Then you can copy from there if something doesn't work.
~ Moon
My wife and I have been
My wife and I have been together for several years and recently were married. She has three children from her previous marriage. A 21 year old boy, an 18 year old boy and a 16 year old girl. I have two children from my previous marriage. A 14 year old boy and a 16 year old daughter. My children live 20 miles away with their biological mother.
Prior to getting married we sat down with all of the children and told them of our plan. All of the children were fine with the plan or at least it appeared they were fine with the plan...
My wife's 16 year old daughter lives with us. After we were married and they moved in my SD began to show some hostility towards both me and her mother. My SD and her mother have always been very close. They will often sleep together and lay on the couch together and watch TV. My SD has always been given everything she wants. She has two horses, a Range Rover and until recently attended a private school. I say "until recently attended a private school" because she had some problems with the girls at the school "talking" about her. Her mother immediately withdrew her from the school and she has now began "online" schooling. She never did attend public school because she also had a problem with a group of girls in middle school. These same girls were to attend her high school. She told her mother that she would not attend that particular high school because of these girls. Irgo, her mother enrolled her in the private school...
Fast forward to this past week... Last Wednesday night my wife took my SD to one of her riding lessons. My SD advised my wife she was not going to go home because she felt it was not fair that my wife did not talk to her more about the marriage and she does not want to live with me. I have always gotten along well with my SD. My wife was out with her for a few hours "talking" to her about the situation. During this time I was trying to reach my wife but she would not answer her cell phone as she did not want to further upset the SD. We had brief "texts" back and forth as to where she was and when she was going to be home. Thursday night my SD insisted my wife sleep with her in her room to which my wife obliged. Friday night they left for an overnight trip so that my SD could show her horses. My wife and I were invited to a party a friend's house Saturday night. The SD did not want my wife to go to the party. We attended anyway... The entire time we were at the party the SD called and sent texts to my wife and I about how we ruined her life, how I am not her father, etc... The SD's biological father lives in another state and has not really been involved in her life for the past 10+ years. My wife and I ended up leaving the party early so that we could return home.
Upon returning home from the party Saturday night we went into the SD's room and both of us laid on the bed beside her reassuring her this was a good thing and it would just take some time to adjust. I had my arm across her and my wife was rubbing her leg. The SD had the covers pulled over her face the entire time and would not speak to us.
Sunday morning all hell broke loose. The SD told my wife that I was feeling her breast through the covers and she better do something about it. She was screaming at the top of her lungs "your husband assaulted me and you are doing nothing about it. What kind of mother are you?" My wife told her that she was in the room the entire time and no such thing happened. The SD came out of her room and hurled a glass bottle from upstairs down into the foyer resulting in broken glass all over the foyer, family room and my wife's office. My wife went into the SD's room and she was attacked with the SD hitting and kicking her. The SD also kicked two holes in the wall of her room.
The SD also sent a text to me saying "you better tell the truth before I report both of you. you for assault and her for witnessing and allowing. you know you rubbed my boobs and grabbed my boob last night. Be a f-cking man and own up to what you did". Of course there is absolutely no truth to the allegation.
Later Sunday night she came down stairs and demanded my wife lay on the couch with her to watch TV. Of course my wife did so... I went upstairs and my wife came into the room and said they were going in the SD's room to watch a movie. Of course, my wife says she fell asleep and ended up sleeping with the SD again...
What has me really concerned is my wife recently took a job that requires her to travel out of town 21 of 28 days. In other words she is gone 75% of the time. I am concerned the SD is going to throw out further accusations when it is just her and I in the house.
PLEASE any advice regarding this situation will be greatly appreciated!!!
You must leave your wife
You must leave your wife immediately. Get yourself out of the house or kick the two of them out. Instantly. Your wife is a terrible mother. You will end up in jail if you don't do this.
And never, ever lay on a 16 year old girl's bed ever again in your life. I don't care if the Pope, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and the entire cast of Sesame Street are in there with you. Just. Don't. Do. It.
Eeeeeeeeeeever.
Really, put physical distance between you and that girl, don't even finish reading this post, just runnnnnn! Deal with divorce or whatever AFTER you do that. If you want to conduct your marriage to this woman from behind a prison cell, just keep hoping things will get better with this kid and her mom. The jail cell will come to you soon enough after that.
Come on folks... Up until
Come on folks... Up until last Wednesday night I have always had a good relationship with my SD. Of course, that was before her mother and I were married. When we spoke with all of the kids to announce our plans for marriage they were all good with it. It was not until last Wednesday evening that my SD began to show hostility.
My wife and I, obviously, discussed how we felt the kids would be react and which ones we felt may object. To our surprise the other four have been happy about our blending. Of course, my wife's boys are already on their own and my two live with their biological mother. During our discussions we never thought the SD would react in such a way. She is normally very reserved and well behaved kid. Of course, she is used to getting her way and what she wants.
We feel that she is reacting in such a way that she feels her mother is being taken away from her. My "parenting style" is just the opposite of my wife's. I don't "negotiate" with my kids and when I tell them "no" they, typically, don't ask a second time as the know "no" means "no" and that I will not "give in". It is the way my parents were with me so it is the only way I know... However, I have never attempted to be an authority figure to my SD. I do suggest things to my wife in how she reacts to the kids but I do it between my wife and I not directly to my SD.
We have tried to reinforce to my SD that I am not trying to take her mother away from her but that she is getting the benefit of having a man in her life, as I stated before her biological father has never been there for her, as well as gaining two siblings.
Getting a divorce from my wife simply is not an option. I love my wife dearly and she has had to deal with many obstacles with her ex husband not being there to "back her up" with the kids.
We are planning to get my SD into counseling. I have already planned to have absolutely no, I mean zero, physical contact with my SD. Until we are able to get her started in counseling is there anything, and I mean anything, you all would suggest other than what has been stated?
Your SD is suddenly screaming
Your SD is suddenly screaming ASSAULT. Your wife is going to be gone 21 days out of 28 leaving you alone with the SD.
It doesn't matter that you plan to have "absolutely no, I mean zero, physical contact" with your SD. The fact is YOU WILL BE ALONE IN THE HOUSE WITH HER FOR 21 DAYS and she will say whatever she wants to if she plans to continue with the assault accusations.
You may love your wife dearly, but it seems like your SD wants you to love your wife from behind bars. It would be insanely stupid of you to stay in the house alone with this kid.
You love your wife dearly, but it sounds like she spends more time sleeping with SD than you.
Marriage counseling would be a really good idea, but DO NOT stay in that house alone with SD or you are in for a world of hurt.
I have to agree, counseling
I have to agree, counseling is really needed here! The fact that it seems your wife spends more time sleeping with her 16 YEAR OLD than you...her husband...is really disturbing! I can tell you that my husband would NEVER stand for anything like that!
And these allegations are serious! If your wife is not going to be home but a week a month, you cannot be left alone with this girl! I'm sorry, but if my child were having these kinds of issues and making these kinds of allegations against my husband, I would not be leaving! True or not, I would be concerned. This is a bomb waiting to go off!
Well, sir, 2 minutes after
Well, sir, 2 minutes after that girl tells her story to the counselor you are planning to get her there will be cops at your door.
The counselor is a mandated reporter. She can NOT choose to keep the story to herself or decide the girl is lying or wonder if she should get to the know girl better first or call you in and hear your side first.
M.A.N.D.A.T.E.D.
There WILL be an investigation. Your wife has 16 years of saying "how high?" when her daughter says "jump!" How fun do you think this investigation is going to be for you with mommy torn between you two?
Get outta that house. Date your wife from afar if you must, but never ever be around that girl again till she's past 21.
you lost me at "both of us
you lost me at "both of us laid on the bed beside her reassuring her this was a good thing and it would just take some time to adjust. I had my arm across her and my wife was rubbing her leg."
this is a 16 year old. not a toddler.
Dude, Really? You cannot
Dude, Really?
You cannot tolerate this manipulation from SD-16, your bride not putting her foot up this kid's ass, or expose yourself any further to her bullshit molestation claims.
She is out ... NOW. Whether he has been in her life or not she can go live with daddy. If you stay in this situation you are going to end up on the Perv list, will never find another job, and will suffer for the rest of your life.
This is nothing more than a manipulative, evil, toxic, teen playing her I wanna be in control cards.
Destroy her, before she destroys you.
IMHO of course.
Really, you must protect yourself from this little manipulative POS kid.
"Divorce is not an
"Divorce is not an option"...then jail time will be. You can not fight an unstable person. Your wife will not back you up when push come to shove.