New here and this is my first post. I need to vent.

I'm a new stepmom to a 16 yo boy. My husband has full custody. I have been married before, but have no children..by choice. I like kids, but never wanted them because I know that I am selfish. I like me-time, and nice vacations, and fancy things. There are two main annoyances I have with the stepson and some days it feels like too much.

1. Food. Food is a huge issue in our house. I know teenagers eat a lot. I thought I was prepared for that...boy was I wrong. To give you an idea, in a week we go through 2 bottles of Ranch, a 3 lb bag of cheese from Costco, about 4 boxes of butter, a jar of mayonnaise, a bottle of maple syrup -- that's just the food my stepson puts on top of his real food. Maybe my expectations were way off?? But, this is absurd to me.

I don't think I would be so annoyed by the food consumption if my stepson were a healthy weight; he is 100 lbs overweight. Besides my grocery bills being outrageous, the thing that irritates me the most is going to cook a meal, only to find that half the ingredients are gone. The other day, I wanted to make chicken salad for lunch. I looked in the pantry for canned chicken (which I knew we had because I saw it the previous night), couldn't find it, and asked him if he ate it. He got annoyed by the question and gave me a stern "no". So, I searched high and low for this can of chicken only to find the empty can in the trash. I asked my stepson why the can was in the trash if he didn't eat it and he said it was from a few days ago. I know this was a lie because the trash had been emptied since the last time any of us ate the item and the can was right on top with other morning trash. I told my husband about it and he talked to the boy. Stepson told him that he was embarrassed that he ate it and so he lied. I was given attitude, watched as i tore the kitchen apart, and lied to twice on the same issue. Did I get an apology? No!

My husband and I both maintain healthy weights and we do like to indulge in ice cream or cookies on occasion. I have taken to hiding cookies/candy/sweet treat in my purse/closet/car, because if it went in the pantry, it would be gone in an evening. I don't know what to do about the condiments, because we like them too. Moderation is the key to everything. And this boy soooo does not understand the concept. My husband thinks he overeats because he is treating the emotional pain of his mother abandoning him (didn't try for custody, hasn't seen him in god knows how long, doesn't return calls/emails/texts). I think that could be true, but how long does one use that as an excuse? If he can't go back to some semblance of normal eating habits, how will he function as an adult? My husband and I have discussed his eating habits quite a bit. I can (and do stock) the fridge with fruit and vegetables. But I'm not going to measure out his portion sizes or hide the condiments. I'm not going to get out of bed to deal with the problem when he is making some concoction at 2am. I'm just not.

2. Laziness. The only thing the boy does is play on his xbox and phone. Since it's summer and school's out, he parks his ass on the sofa at 10 am and doesn't move until we turn his internet off. He gets up to pee and maybe fix a snack (but most of the time he asks for food deliveries to him, which I refuse). When we make him get out of the house, he is pissy that he has to quit the xbobx game and always asks for extra time before we go. When we do turn the internet off of his devices, he sulks all the way up to his room and slams the door and doesn't emerge until the morning. He throws water bottles and food wrappers on the floor in front of him, letting the dogs rip them to shreds and leave a mess. I'm constantly picking his trash up. His one chore is to collect the trash throughout the house and take it outside. I do this most days. He has friends, as evidenced by his texting, but he never goes out and does real activities with them. He has never had a friend over to our house. I don't understand that at all -- that is all I wanted to do at 16. We go to the gym and he walks on the treadmill for ten minutes and then goes and waits in the car. Is any of this normal?

I like the kid. He's not out doing drugs or getting into trouble. He is funny and for the most part, we get along. But, these food issues and laziness problem irritate me to high hell and quite frankly, I'm disgusted by thought of what he will become if he doesn't change.
Part of me feels like it's not my place to ever say anything or address his behavior. The other part of me just plain doesn't want to.

Sorry for the long read. Any advice would be appreciated! And feel free to let me know if I'm out of my mind.