Ready to walk
In 2013 I met my bf, which he had a daughter, 8, and I had 3 adult children. After some time we moved in together and then had a son together. His daughter has been trouble from day 1. She would constantly go through my stuff and steal what she wanted, constantly lying and extremely disobedient. But luckily for me she was only with us every weekend. Bm mom is also a pathological liar and a bully. She has bullied me on numerous occasions- I believe from jealousy but not sure the real reason as I have always been kind to her. Fast forward to 4/2018 I moved halfway across the country to be with my family and to escape the mental abuse I received from SO, SD, and her BM. I did NOT want my son to grow up and turn out like them. They were always united and against me. I started over, went through intensive counseling to deal with that abuse, have a wonderful job, got my own place for just my son and I and I was so happy and was thriving. But SO realized he lost the best thing that ever happened to him and followed us (about 6 months after I left). He had actually changed and treated me well and even began parenting his son correctly. We never fought, argued. Life was peaceful and loving. Then.........sd (now 14) decided to come for a visit and was great. For about 2 weeks. Was respectful, listened, helped with chores without being asked, etc. until she asked if she could move in with us Bc she was being bullied in her hometown. I thought I sure wouldn’t want any child being bullied although I had my suspicions that that was not the whole story. Bc I have seen HER be the bully on multiple occasions in the past but tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. So my SO and myself agreed to let her stay and go to school here. Biggest mistake ever. Very next day she returns to the horrible sd I remember. But I 100% blame my SO and BM Bc they raised her with entitlement, reward bad behavior and with the expectation that SHE is the child therefore should be doted on. Now......my SO and I argue on a daily and I feel the need to leave before I lose myself again. She’s out of control and he does NOT make the parenting efforts to change this. The last straw was we found out that she has been telling her new friends at school and one of her teachers that her dad kidnapped her. SHE was the one that asked US if she could move here. She has always been a pathological liar like her mom but this is pretty serious and I’m betting that her dad will just excuse it as if it’s just teenage stuff. He yelled at her but she still has her phone and apparently no privileges have been removed. Our lease is up in February. I’m trying to hang on until then but I honestly think I will snap.
Your abuser followed you and
Your abuser followed you and you took him back. Please, do not make that mistake again.
Sorry you are going through
Sorry you are going through all this. Sounds very stressful. I hate to say it, but you have seen this before and you know how it plays out. If your DH isn't going to step up and parent his daughter, this is going to be your life until you tell him he or SD leaves. But even if SD leaves, I think this is going to be a reoccuring issue as she will always be his daughter.
Trust me I’m kicking myself
Believe me I am 100% kicking myself for being so naive. I should have known better but I thought “I got this”.......regardless I think I will not wait until February. I have lost total respect for him for not stepping up and being a parent and upset with myself for falling into the trap.
Yes, move out!
Move out while he is gone and don't tell him where you're going. Too much drama, he needs some maturity and needs to learn how to parent on his own.
The time is now!
The time is now!
If you want out get out while
If you want out get out while you can. if you want to stay be sure to establish your boundaries
Abusive step daughter and let him continue to let her to treat m
I am a mother of five boys, who grew up to be contributing to society. Good job’s families etc. 3 1/2 years ago I met a man who was fun smart we have good conversations we ride on a Harley’s together in the beginning he would go do things with me but that was stopped. His 13-year-old daughter got along just fine the first few times we met. The next summer that she came for visitation to spend the summer with dad she had an intense hate for me. She started acting out would blame me for things that I didn’t do cry to her dad about I said something mean or heaven for bid I ask her to clean up after herself I explain to her that in my house we clean up after ourselves. She complained about the nice furniture having to use real dishes glasses. Would get upset if her dad held my hand or showed any affection so he started not showing affection or holding my hand or anything like that when she was here for three months if I was sitting on the couch he would go sit by her as to not stir jealousy on her part. When we got married he was afraid to tell her it was not until six months after we were married that she found out that we had gotten married and she was very upset. Verbal abuse when she was here continue to get worse. We were in the car one day with her grandmother and she was not happy because I wouldn’t do what she wanted so she called dad and was crouching down in the seat of the car saying help me dad help me grandma was just surprised that she was acting that way. Year and a half later her hatred has intensified she has stolen things of mine from things in the garbage is very sullen and extremely rude towards me and our home. And she acts like she’s dad‘s girl friend. How to sit next to him holding his hand she will crawl into him and sit on his lap like she’s an abused little girl. A month ago we went on a cruise to celebrate her senior year in high school things started deteriorating to the point that she was verbally abusive and yelling at me on the shit that security got involved. It was absolutely horrible I couldn’t believe the things that came out of her mouth and her dad told me to shut up that I was egging her on. I raise my children I thought I was a good mother. But I cannot stand how my husband behaves with his daughter I’m ignored it is my fault and when I told him I would no longer be subject to her abuse he told me that I didn’t understand what her life was like. I told him I would not have her in my home I did not want to be around her. I realize she’s a teenager but the security advisor on the ship informed me that she seen this before and it will Only get worse not better. Because of his attitude that he perpetuates and lets her speak to me that way and says that it’s my fault because I treat her bad. Just a little sidenote I drive school bus and with teenagers all day long and you know what they all love me. So I’ve decided that I am no longer going to be abused by her or only get worse not better. Because of his attitude that he perpetuates and lets her speak to me that way and says that it’s my fault because I treat her bad. Just a little sidenote I drive school bus and with teenagers all day long and you know what they all love me. So I’ve decided that I am no longer going to be abused by her, And let him continue to let her to treat me that way. I’m in the middle of moving out and moving on with my life but it is still very difficult because I care for him deeply. Anyone else have any ideas have a suggestion I’ve read many forms that said is not gonna work it out now and I do believe I am doing the right thing. I don’t want to break up a family, and she needs her dad and he needs her so I’m bowing out.
Forgive my miss spellings
Forgive my miss spellings and my grammar I am using the talk into my computer and apparently it’s not working correctly.