SD16 is back and I am very worried my marriage is in trouble
SD16 is a brilliant actress. She gets $100 per week from Daddy just for breathing. When I and my 2 year old son came along she was rude, manipulative, disdainful and disrespectful. I stood up for us and becuase my husband loves me (maybe loved me in the past tense is more appropriate now) over the last 2 years there has been improvements (hard won and exhausting).
She still gives me looks that would make Damien Omen III look normal then flicks from hate to a smiling face back on Daddy. I had felt that I had mastered detachment but recently I was vulnerable after a friend's child's funeral a series of things happened. We had to go straight from the funeral to the plane to visit his family. She came up and said "oh Dad mentioned your friend's baby died." She then proceeded to be rude and take advantage of my state all weekend. There were 20 relatives there and none of them very keen on my son and I because they had recently asked him for money and he said no. It would have been beyond obvious that SD16 disliked me, she took full advantage of the situation. SD16 made sure to go back to her previous self and cut us out. My son was not included with the other children unless I went over and made and effort to asist. They were nice children who were used to playing together but not one adult encouraged them to include my child. His sister had asked him for $100 a week contribution to her rent because she is broke and does not have a job and he said no. Amazing what greed and entitlement can do. Last time we were there they were kind and inclusive to my son.
What made me sad is that my husband told his daughter about my friend's baby's death without discussing it with me. SD16's predisposition to take advantage though disappointing was not suprising. My husband did not notice my experience of the weekend at all or my child's. Previously he had improved and was watching her and reprimanding her if he did not consider her behaviour respectful to me. Previously he appeared to care what my life was like.
I feel that he no longer sees my experience or cares about it. My belief is that I am the bad guy in his head. Noone except from me has ever indicated that she is spoilt and not fun or pleasant to be around. Mind you there is not one Aunty or Uncle or grandparent or family friend interested enough in her to visit her or ask her to visit.
Recently she pretends to play with my son but only when Daddy is there to see her. She use to curl her lip up and look away from him. She is very fake and I am worried about her being around when I am trying to raise a 4 year old. I am so busy at work because I have to work to earn money and am exhasuted and sad at the moment.
Honestly I do not know if I can do it any more.
I cannot just go out. I am upset and I have a four year old to look after. SD16 does a great job of just hanging around at the moment. Dinner time sucks.
We have unfortunately got to the point of discussing separating. I feel now the chips are down that it is clear he is doubting me and not SD16. Help me.
Help me. Advice please?
Yes what Boottuff said...
Yes what Boottuff said...
I was told by my SO to not
I was told by my SO to not parent SD16 anymore. This was this past Wednesday. Okay so Lately quite a few of my things have gone missing. Today I realized that a black cute top and a pair of flared jeans of mine are missing. I am not thinking SD16 took them but maybe she accidentally grabbed them while taking her clean laundry. So I go into her room while she was in the shower and start rummaging through her stuff. I dont find what I'm looking for but I do find 7 dirty cups and a couple of dirty bowls and spoons. This girl has been told a SHITLOAD of times to NOT be doing that! So I leave all the dirty dishes on her bedroom floor. I go downstairs and she makes her way downstairs into the kitchen. I made the MISTAKE of talking to her! I told her that she was going to hand wash them and her dad was going to hear about it. The brat then tells me that I shouldn't even be talking to her because I'm not doing anything for her anymore. Nice!
I then told her that she better watch what she says to me because after all she is the one that has the
Most to lose. I told her that I don't think she wanted to show up to school without any makeup and her damn hair extensions. She said other things that at the moment I can't recall. I told her that she was asking
For a one way ticket to her moms. Hasn't seen her crazy cunt of a mother in over 5 years by the way. She loves to throw it in our faces how she can be doing worse things. True. But she is a lazy ass teenager that is NOT consistent with whatever is required of her at home and she gets overall grades of Ds and Fs during
The semester but always manages to bring up her grades before report cards come out. What aggregates me the most with her is that she is this way and she EXPECTS nice things to be bought for
Her. I have a lot to blame for that....I created a monster by buying her department store makeup and giving in to the hair extensions that now when she doesn't get what she wants right away she resorts to bitch mode.
Last Tuesday SD16 was extremely disrespectful to me. And then my SO told me and her that we both needed to leave! Wtf! I said that I was going to leave! I did start packing my things but really I can't
Just leave. I rely on him financially. I am about to start a new "career". So for me to have to leave everything because of his daughter will cause for me to become an ungrateful bitch. I didn't leave that night. The next morning my SO immediately when waking up reached over for me and hugged me. I do know he lOves me but he really needs to quit telling me in front of her that we need To leave. He said that he was extremely aggravated because of work. He owns his own business. And then thats when he said not to parent her. So today I made the mistake of "speaking to her" Disrespectful brat! What she needs is a
Good ass spanking for disrespecting an adult!
does your SD live with you full time? Mine does. If she doesn't just try your best to ignore her. Your DH needs some sense smacked into him. WTF Is his daughter going to do for him that You are not doing? Be his wifey? Please him in all ways a wifey does? You need to talk To him and tell him how you feel. But honestly if he is willing to split up instead of dealing with his daughter maybe he isn't the One for you....I'm sorry. I know how tough it is.
I'm here wishing I was high on drugs just so I can be happy and not give a fuck about what SD16 says to me. she loves to say how I am always mean to her. Last Saturday I took her shopping. I don't recall being mean to her. She once again told me Tuesday that I am always mean to her. I went into her room Wed Looking for the clothes that I bought for her but the brat had already removed the Tags. I told her today that she's lucky she removed the tags cuz I dont recall being mean to her when I took her shopping. She came back with "cool" hahahaha...
You are not alone and you came to the right place to vent. I apologize if I was of no help but I know how it feels
To be around a brat....hugs...
So what that she removed the
So what that she removed the tags? People remove the tags prior to giving clothing as a gift and they can still be returned. All you need is your receipt. I say call her bluff!
Thankyou. It does help. It is
Thankyou. It does help. It is just better to share an experience and know that other good people are dealing with the same.
I may have to make the call to go. Being a mother makes me responsible for my own happiness so I can look after my little one calmly. That is not happening at the moment. He deserves better.
Last night I got brave and at
Last night I got brave and at dinner raised her behaviour. I was calm and polite. I said that although she has now started playing with her little step brother when Dad is here, I had noticed she made no effort to either of us when all Dad's family were gathered for a whole weekend and that made me sad. I said that being rude and ignoring my son and I was not a nice thing to do.
She sat there and blubbered and blubbered and blubbered. This from a person who can be cold as ice in a moment and fake smiling at Daddy 2 seconds later. My radar said total act.
He then followed her after she went to her room and stayed there for an hour. He then asked me to come in to her room and she started blubbering again. He asked her to communicate with me and she started hysterically sobbing. I said "this is a bit over the top and intense folks". She said "I do not mean for things to come out wrong. I really like you."
Absolutley ridiculous. No truth, no apology for 2 years of bad behaviour. Am I overreacting? I feel physically repelled that he followed her to her room. I feel sad that he seems to care more about her fake act than my and my son's experience of a whole weekend.
I am so sad.
Do not think I can stay around.
What a mess. Am I overreacting? Has anyone else walked away in similar circumstances.