Tearing my hair out..
I have 3 teenage very well behaved kids at home. When I say well behaved I mean I have had children's services workers comment on how oddly well behaved they are. I am thankful and oh so GREATFUL.. Anyway my boyfriend and I have been together for 19 months, he has 2 kids ages 11boy and 15 girl. The girl is so spoiled and honestly a brat. If she doesn't get what she wants from dad she punishes him by refusing to come for the visits or picking on her brother when they are here. She tells my guy he is a bad father because he can't afford to give her whatever she wants.. Example is: she wanted an iPhone so for her birthday we went out and bought her an android cell that we could afford. It was a MotoG we activated it with unlimited everything and then we gave it to her. She complained to her mother so much that mom went and bought her the iPhone. Then to throw it in dads face she gave the phone we bought her to some homeless guy. It took my guy 3 weeks to save up for the phone. Then she refused to give dad the number saying that she didn't have to because he didn't get her the phone. Current issue is this. She wanted money for cheerleading so she asked dad. He agreed and sent the money thru support enforcement so that he would get credit, not as part of the ordered amount but so that it would be recorded that he gave extra. The mother refuses to give the kid the money so she told dad he was a deadbeat etc.. Now she is back to punishing him by canceling visits at the last minute. And to make matters worse she and the mother have the 11 year old boy refusing to come for visits saying it's boring. (We take the kids fishing or swimming and BBQ everytime they visit). Mom is putting the boy up to this. I am not a petty person and I hate the thoughts Im having but I really want to tell this kid she is just a plain old mean brat.. I want to make all these fun plans with my kids and not include them. My guy is so hurt and he doesn't want to put them away. He begs them to come week after week and they say yes he gets excited and then like an hour before pick up time they both cancel by way of text. I am trying to be patient and understanding but I see the pain he is in and it's so hard to keep my mouth shut.. I'm hoping someone else has been thru something like this and could offer some helpful words and advice.. I love kids in general but these kids I am beginning to despise.
We did tell the sd where the
We did tell the sd where the money went and she demanded he give her cash. He doesn't have it. He is a seasonal worker and currently his cs order is for more then he makes a month because we live together we pool our money and I pay his support. Not the full amount but we are in the process of a mod hearing.. I do not want him to give cash to the kid because I feel that he should get credit for what he paid. We bought them school supplies shoes etc.. My guy was hit by a car years ago and shattered his hips broke both legs etc.. He works to pay support, he tries to support his kids best he can but BM is trying to jail him for not paying it all. Top that off with the fact that youngest BS isn't even bio his kid.. He won't ever say anything because he raised this boy and in his heart he is dad.. Mom is trash, she divorced my guy to marry his brother, she got hep c from it drug use.. Has guy of the month club moving into her house etc.. Just a real shitbag. But the kids would never agree to come live with us because I have rules. We even have proof that the BM is trashing BD. She told him in a text that she tells the kids he is a piece of shit.. She was happy when he lives 3states away and couldn't visit the kids, but now that he moved to Fla with me and is 40 miles away BM is moving to GA to keep him away from his kids but she wants child support. So he is filing in court to block her from moving, she has told the kids this and now they are even madder at him because as the 15yo old said dad is ruining her life..
BM is a vile creature. She
BM is a vile creature. She was so happy to take money when my guy was 4 states away but now that he is 40 miles away she is horrible.. We has texts from the mother where she admits to telling the kids that dad is trash scum and others... It's so sad but these kids are beginning to hate dad because mom spoils them and dad won't. Dad is filing in court to stop the move to GA and establish a formal visit order which they must follow. The kids will hate him even more but hopefully in time they will see that he fought to keep a relationship with them... My personal feeling is he should cut his losses, the kids want to move to GA because mom told them how great life will be up there. I guess we will see what happens... I'm just so sad and angry for this entire situation...
Well he thought she would
Well he thought she would appreciate having a phone that had wifi and all the other crap but lesson learned.. I want him to stop chasing her and let her go but this is his daughter and his sort of son.. It is so damn sad that the mother can be so hateful and vindictive that she risks her kids mental well being just to twist the knife in his back. There was this time when the BD wanted to go meet some "girl" she met online, it was our weekend and that meant dad would have to bring her. He told BM he wasn't comfortable with this and she blew up at him threatening him if he took her he would be in trouble. She called him stupid, retard etc.. He was saying he didn't want to bring her and he didn't think it was a good idea. Mom just snapped and went off and told him not to bring her... But BM told BD that dad could bring her if he wanted, so dad looks like the bad guy yet again... I think he should take all this to court to establish a pattern but he doesn't even have the money to do that and it wouldn't accomplish anything the kids won't agree to life with us regardless. So he suffers heartbreak... Sad it really is...
He needs to man up and nail
He needs to man up and nail BM for contempt for interfering with his visitation. Every time the Skids fail to come for visitation as mandated by the CO, BM gets a contempt motion files against her. No exception.
BM stole the cheerleading money from SD so DH needs to have her arrested and charged. He needs to get the CSE records showing his CS payments and the extra he pays and get that in front of his children so that they know that their BM is a manipulative toxic and criminal influence in their lives.
He needs to explain to his kids and show them the full documentation of how much he supports them, exactly what the CO says and exactly how BM is violating the CO.
He needs to keep demonstrating to his children that he loves them, wants them in his life, and that he will raise them with expectations of character and behavior. That does not mean giving them everything they want.
BM is evil. The only way to address this kind of concerted evil is to destroy it with fact.