that was short lived!
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So SD13 is back to whining about sleeping over this weekend. we finally got her to sleep over for the first time ever 2 weeks ago and she did fine, had fun, and said she was "over her issues now". and she wants to spend the day at the mall with her boyfriend (whom we've never met) rather than spend time with her dad on HIS weekend.
dont get me wrong, im always glad to have less time with her. But im not sure why my fiance bothers anymore! the two of them are always canceling on each other - either she doesnt want to stay or he doesnt want to deal with her, zero consistency at all.
her dumbass mother let her!
her dumbass mother let her! she's been with this kid for THREE YEARS this september, and my fiance only found out about it this past november. both BM and SD lied to my fiance and kept this secret.
Sounds about right. SD15 used
Sounds about right. SD15 used to pull that crap when she lived at BM's. There was always a friend who was more important than spending time with her father! Even last week...SD15 was supposed to be spending time with her mom, but was at a friend's house down there all week!
I agree stay out of it. What
I agree stay out of it.
What I would do as Daddy is stop setting dates with her and tell her to call when she's ready to come over. IF there has been nothing schedules I'll go and get her.
Then absolutely no contact with her. After a few weeks or even months she may actually call. She's using her presence as a base of power. She's thinking "I have control over you". By not calling her you pull that rug out from under her.
That's my advise to Daddy.
ive shared your thoughts with
ive shared your thoughts with my fiance in the past, OC (because i agree!). he just doesnt think that's the right thing to do.... he's in denial i think.
CO is crystal clear, but no
CO is crystal clear, but no one enforces it. we've had the police called in teh past to document refused visitation. her mother will not grab her by the arm, put her in the car, and tell her she's going.
its all about "following SD's wishes". that's the problem with BM and my fiance - its all about what the kid wants, instead of what's right.
see above - she's been with
see above - she's been with this boy nearly 3 years. i know they are having sex or pretty darn close to it, but BM and fiance think they just hold hands and text. yeah, right. dumb fucks.
Some bios are sluts. SD18
Some bios are sluts. SD18 lost her virginity at 14. In BM's house. While BM was there. Because BM let the boyfriend spend the night. Then again, BM gave it up at age 10.
obviously not very well,
obviously not very well, steptococis.
i mentioned in another thread that a friend of mine asked me seriously the other day if SD was a child that was wanted - because of all the things i shared with her regarding their lack of parenting and raising - she assumed that perhaps SD was an oops baby.
i think that's why my
i think that's why my attempts at true disengagement have failed so badly these past 6 months.
the sensitive caring side of me sees that SD is a pain in the ass and out of control because of her parents. lack of discipline aside, they simply have not taught her anything. she's been left to just 'figure stuff out'. the more ive seen as of late, i really think that they've never taught her how to use a knife and fork. i think she has just tried to look around the table to see how others use them rather than someone at a young age saying, 'this is your fork, this is your knife, and this is how you hold them and cut with them'. the dress thing - she sits with her legs wide open, like a guy, because i dont think her mom has ever said "SD when you wear a dress or skirt, this is how you sit". she is not allowed to use the stove because she's never been taught how to use the stove. i envision her being one of those kids that rode with training wheels for years because they never taught her how to ride a bike (no idea on that one, just speculation). they have a pool in their yard, yet BM dropped her at swim lessons so someone else could teach her how to swim.
i go through periods of hate, anger, sadness, sympathy, shock, etc.