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Will they EVER leave?

Jaedee's picture

Submitted by Jaedee on Sun, 10/07/2012 - 4:14pm

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Teenage Stepchildren

Within our home, I have 17 SS and SD who's 21. I can not stand to be around SS. He has been rude to me since he was 14. I have thought
of ending my WONDERFUL relationship because of it. I try soon hard to not show my feelings. But, then again - this is my life RIGHT! When kids are around I leave. I have none of my own, and we have talked about having one together, but then life keeps on going, and I doubt we will for several reasons. Yet I continue to feel empty or left out. I wish I knew how to change how I FEEL. And yes, I stay busy running my own company and taking care of the 3 most (including my man) lazy and messy people, along with their 2 annoying dogs in a huge house; we are about to lose. I am really anxious for them to be gone, but do kids ever REALLY leave. His adopted oldest is 23 married, and she is hear all the time - making their own messes left for me to clean up. I've tried everything I can think of - leaving the mess, bitching about the mess, cleaning for my own peace....

Any suggestions out there? First time to find this site.

Drama3zone's picture

Submitted by Drama3zone on Sun, 10/07/2012 - 5:00pm

Ahrrr - really feel for you. If you read my recent posts 'SD leave to live with BM' you will see that some do leave - 21 is quite old - i left home at 16 but I was unhappy at home and chose to leave - you are already trying out new strategies to bring you peace of mind, I.e leaving the mess,making your own space - this is important - there is a brilliant essay on disengaging that really helped me - meeting our own needs and getting on with our lives - if the relationship is worth it - I have two young boys now, so leaving not an option - I wish I could have made it work better with my SD.s but in the end I had to completely detach for my own mental health - getting my own space and time for me helped loads when things really rough

Jaedee's picture

Submitted by Jaedee on Sun, 10/07/2012 - 5:19pm

Thanks, it's not easy. I often feel so used. I can work 8-8pm and they ask ME what's for dinner. But, then never a peep of conversation with me through the dinner I MADE. I struggle with being with my man that does not encourage better attitudes from his kids towards me. Aahhhrrrr is right. Today I am alone, surrounded with thoughts and Chours that only I seem to care about.

Just turned 42.