HOW COME......
The blogs that generate the most comments are the negative "bitchy" ones and the positive ones are largely ignored? I'm disappointed.
I'm proud of how far I've come, damnit!! LOL I just wanted to share something that would give others hope.
- 2Bloved's blog
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Comments
:)
You know you're supposed to gather more bees with honey than vinegar. But I find the opposite to be true when reading things on here. I guess it depends on the posters and readers definitions of "positive" and "negative."
In my most humble (and brief as possible
opinion...
A lot of "popular" posts with the highest percentage of comments, are the ones complaining about the negativity on the site. I think there may be a more positive way to encourage positivity than to complain, judge, make blanket absolutest statements. But it is the easiest way for some to turn their posts into a "hot topic."
I have also heard a lot about the "in" crowd too, but if I'm a card carrying member, you'd never know it from the itty bitty comment list on my posts!
By the way...
I'm proud of you too! As for me, I'm workin' on it (see my own post if interested in boring positive details!)
I always kinda feel crappy....
When I put my heart on the line and need advice yet not one person responds.... it kinda hurts... I've always wondered if theres a highschool "click" thing going on or what?? I randomly respond to posts and if I ever see one where no one is responding I always write something....
Me too....not the comment
Me too....not the comment part. I'm mostly a reader..
But I have posted stuff that doesn';t really elicit a response, and it sucks!!
LOL...usually my rainbow and butterfly posts
get no responses...but that's ok....cuz when I really need help with something I get lots of help :)....that's why I love this site...I even had a poster who works in an allergist's office help me with my SS's hives :).....
"You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"
Sorry Crayon
I wasn't implying your blogs. I've been here over two years now, although I just recently joined, but have noticed the cycle. Blogs that attack or whatnot have pages and pages, and blogs that are positive or are inspiring rarely get a comment.
I read your blogs, Crayon. I understand your frustration. I also dealt with the consumate guilt parent. He now realizes that he is guilt parenting, and has changed. I don't know how I would have handled a situation like yours, and admire you for dealing with it for so long.
The way you handle your life with such humor speaks a lot of your character.
Sita
I love reading your posts. I love seeing how you deal with the hand that has been dealt to you. I see that you are having a hard time, but you deal with them with such maturity. Posters like you are who have gotten me thru the hard times with FH. I think if you can deal with so much, I should be able to deal b/c my problems seem so small in comparison. I'm more of a reader and rarely comment, but I do enjoy your posts and your comments.
Thanks so much 2bloved
That's really nice to hear. I haven't been posting as much lately, which is neither a positive nor a negative. Just not feeling the site much lately. I try to post when I feel the need, and try to listen and support rather than judge. Though I sometimes can dish out some sarcasm when I feel someone else is wronged on here. I am working on that too- not being baited anymore. I'm afraid SD's rages make me an easy target sometimes.
Yes, I've noticed. Seen a
Yes, I've noticed. Seen a lot of your comments where you say that you check back in, or really don't have much to offer. It seems like a lot of the original posters aren't on here as much anymore. I've been reading since you were still zenmom, LOL. Things have changed here recently. Hopefully things settle back down soon. It's better to help than to hinder.
I think it's true in all areas of life.
Negative responses and ideas tend to get people riled up much more than positive ones. This is true in the media (as Crayon said). Its also true in the workplace: gossip goes farther and is more exciting for people to talk about than "happy ending" stories. And it's true in politics -- not trying to advertise my politics here, but look at how the "NO" side of the healthcare debate is creating more press and more buzz than the "yes" side; how the "NO gay marriage" or "NO abortion" stirs stronger and more "vigorous" responses. Just human nature, perhaps, that "NO!" is a word generally said with much more force and a louder voice than "YES."
BB
- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)
Hey there my friend!
I was wondering where you and your fist raised photo were lately! Good to see you here, making sense as usual!
Just trying
Just trying to steer clear of the negativity!
BB
- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)
I don't always say much
I don't always say much because I am no longer in the role. And, part of me doesn't know what to say. I never had the kids when they were old enough to talk. We just had a crazy BM in a hard situation. I also feel that because of my current non-parent status, if I did offer advice to certain people, I would be attacked for not even being a parent. Although, I was a nanny for years. I had her more than her mother did. Way more. I even potty trained her. I post about my life, which is no longer step parent related. I promise you that a lot of people don't read my blog because I'm not a sm. But, at one point, not that long ago, I was in the trenches, too. And, I have friends I've made here. So, this is one way I stay in contact. That, and I can offer drink choices to those who are going through what I did at the end of my relationship along with the courage to get some free meals out of their new single status.![Wink](https://prod-cdn-1.ststatic.com/sites/all/modules/contrib/smiley/packs/kolobok/wink.gif)
As for the "in" crowd, it comes and goes. It changes. Remember the mass exodus a year ago? Things weren't better or worse. They were just different people stepping into the same personality roles that were left. These negative blogs come in waves. As CG said, it's the turning of the tide. All I can offer is that the grass isn't always greener in someone else's yard and a lemon drop martini with sugar on the rim.
To every thing there is a season.
And I'm so glad you stay
And I'm so glad you stay connected on here. After all this is a bit more in depth than FB. Also, though I understand why some posters might fear posting on here and being criticized for their personal stories or choices etc...
One thing we never have to fear is being booted off on a whim. It's happened to me before elsewhere, out of nowhere, without me violating any terms of use and it stung very much to have it happen among those I thought cared about me. So much so that nearly a year later I'm still a little jaded. I am forever grateful that Dawn and Admin rarely exercise that option, and even then only if someone has violated the terms of use (yes there are some and they are highly tolerant.) You have to go way past disagreeing with people to be booted from this site. You have to be downright malicious or totally inappropriate for that to happen(thinking of one scary man who went on and on about his minor SD in a highly disturbing way.)
So...post away. If someone is rude, short, judgmental, your stepsistas (and brothers!) will find a way to offer support. I just ignore anyone who seems to judge rather than attempt to understand.
Yes, darling, I remember
Yes, darling, I remember that drama. And, that is what I elluded to in some post somewhere about how the tides turn and the "in" crowd changes. We saw it change with that. I've noticed how many who used to respond who are still here are silent and chime in once in a while.
But, on FB, you get to see all my crazy adventures! Did you see the pictures of astrophysicist in his Top Gun sunglasses?
To every thing there is a season.
Oh No I DIDN'T!
But I'm up late with DH out of town surfing the net on my laptop in bed alone (placing L on forehead now
) so I will be checking that cutie out right NOW!
Ana, I sure hope our paths cross in person again sooner rather than later. I miss you guys!
I am here now and then
I do not get on the site as often as others. I go through periods of life getting busier so I don't make time to drop in and note the pos. and neg. going on in SM world. Sometime I feel like I have a connection with others, sometimes I feel like who are all these 'new' members. But, things are always changing here.
As for myself, I tend to be more of the venting posts. Lately, I have been trying to balance that out with genuine...need advise posts as well. For me, I think it is sometimes easier to just read posts and not respond if I don't have anything worthwhile to say. I respond to someone that seems like they need a 'hang in there' or I can always throw in one of my psycho BM stories for a good laugh (see recent blog for kicks). I probably could post more supportive comments and blog about the good things that are going on in SM world.
For example, the kids returned from extended weekend at BM house where they were out of state with her family. Kid were in good spirits tonight. Everyone's happy and glad to be back at Dad's house. They are safe and back home now.
2Bloved.....
I for one am so discouraged by today's events, that not only am I looking at your blog and asking the same question... but I also seriously wondering how the negative posters become positive and the positive "rainbows and lollipops" posters become the negative!
I'm scratching my head over it all still!
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
I will NOT respond to another post
that has anything to do with anyone criticizing people for how they vent or "bitch". I'm not going to feed a fire for someone who wants to point fingers and tell us how much more mature they are than others. Anyone with any maturity would not be behaving like they are any better than anyone else anyway. "You are a name-caller and I'm not. You say bad things about people and I don't.BLAH BLAH BLAH." No one on here is any better than anyone else. In the words of the great Salt-N-Pepa "There's only one true judge and that's God, so chill and let my father do his job!" In the future, I will only be responding to those who need advice and/or support if I have anything to offer.
“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed” -Gandhi