You know you're supposed to gather more bees with honey than vinegar. But I find the opposite to be true when reading things on here. I guess it depends on the posters and readers definitions of "positive" and "negative."

In my most humble (and brief as possible opinion...
A lot of "popular" posts with the highest percentage of comments, are the ones complaining about the negativity on the site. I think there may be a more positive way to encourage positivity than to complain, judge, make blanket absolutest statements. But it is the easiest way for some to turn their posts into a "hot topic."

I have also heard a lot about the "in" crowd too, but if I'm a card carrying member, you'd never know it from the itty bitty comment list on my posts!

By the way...

I'm proud of you too! As for me, I'm workin' on it (see my own post if interested in boring positive details!)

When I put my heart on the line and need advice yet not one person responds.... it kinda hurts... I've always wondered if theres a highschool "click" thing going on or what?? I randomly respond to posts and if I ever see one where no one is responding I always write something....

Negative responses and ideas tend to get people riled up much more than positive ones. This is true in the media (as Crayon said). Its also true in the workplace: gossip goes farther and is more exciting for people to talk about than "happy ending" stories. And it's true in politics -- not trying to advertise my politics here, but look at how the "NO" side of the healthcare debate is creating more press and more buzz than the "yes" side; how the "NO gay marriage" or "NO abortion" stirs stronger and more "vigorous" responses. Just human nature, perhaps, that "NO!" is a word generally said with much more force and a louder voice than "YES."

BB

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)

I don't always say much because I am no longer in the role. And, part of me doesn't know what to say. I never had the kids when they were old enough to talk. We just had a crazy BM in a hard situation. I also feel that because of my current non-parent status, if I did offer advice to certain people, I would be attacked for not even being a parent. Although, I was a nanny for years. I had her more than her mother did. Way more. I even potty trained her. I post about my life, which is no longer step parent related. I promise you that a lot of people don't read my blog because I'm not a sm. But, at one point, not that long ago, I was in the trenches, too. And, I have friends I've made here. So, this is one way I stay in contact. That, and I can offer drink choices to those who are going through what I did at the end of my relationship along with the courage to get some free meals out of their new single status.
As for the "in" crowd, it comes and goes. It changes. Remember the mass exodus a year ago? Things weren't better or worse. They were just different people stepping into the same personality roles that were left. These negative blogs come in waves. As CG said, it's the turning of the tide. All I can offer is that the grass isn't always greener in someone else's yard and a lemon drop martini with sugar on the rim.

To every thing there is a season.

I do not get on the site as often as others. I go through periods of life getting busier so I don't make time to drop in and note the pos. and neg. going on in SM world. Sometime I feel like I have a connection with others, sometimes I feel like who are all these 'new' members. But, things are always changing here.

As for myself, I tend to be more of the venting posts. Lately, I have been trying to balance that out with genuine...need advise posts as well. For me, I think it is sometimes easier to just read posts and not respond if I don't have anything worthwhile to say. I respond to someone that seems like they need a 'hang in there' or I can always throw in one of my psycho BM stories for a good laugh (see recent blog for kicks). I probably could post more supportive comments and blog about the good things that are going on in SM world.

For example, the kids returned from extended weekend at BM house where they were out of state with her family. Kid were in good spirits tonight. Everyone's happy and glad to be back at Dad's house. They are safe and back home now.

I for one am so discouraged by today's events, that not only am I looking at your blog and asking the same question... but I also seriously wondering how the negative posters become positive and the positive "rainbows and lollipops" posters become the negative!

I'm scratching my head over it all still!

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

that has anything to do with anyone criticizing people for how they vent or "bitch". I'm not going to feed a fire for someone who wants to point fingers and tell us how much more mature they are than others. Anyone with any maturity would not be behaving like they are any better than anyone else anyway. "You are a name-caller and I'm not. You say bad things about people and I don't.BLAH BLAH BLAH." No one on here is any better than anyone else. In the words of the great Salt-N-Pepa "There's only one true judge and that's God, so chill and let my father do his job!" In the future, I will only be responding to those who need advice and/or support if I have anything to offer.

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed” -Gandhi