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Went to funeral this past week and the ex did not show up but the 16 yr old SD was very rude.

3xmom's picture

Submitted by 3xmom on Sun, 02/06/2011 - 2:49pm

SD barely spoke except one word answers when spoken to and she would not even look anyone in the face. I went up to her and gave her a hug anyway. My oldest SD was very kind and friendly as usual, no problems there and she understands totally. My 11 yr went up to his 16 yr old half sister after the funeral and asked for a hug and she rolled her eyes at him. It was unbelievable. My 11 and 9 yr olds showed more respect and consideration for others than she did. I feel so bad for my relatives dealing with the loss of their daughter and having one of their grandchildren acting that way when two of their other grandchildren are now motherless. My husband could barely deal with the loss of his baby sister. I'm so frigging happy they live in a different state than us so we don't have to deal with this every weekend.

Comments

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Sun, 02/06/2011 - 3:29pm

Well she IS 16. And maybe she didn't want to hug everyone. Maybe she was uncomfortable and didn't want to be there.

Yeah, I know. She should put her feelings aside. But she is 16 and from the sounds of things doesn't have much of a role model.

Why would you expect her to have better manners when her mother is such a 'winner'?

I vote for "Didn't want to be there, funerals are out of her comfort-zone and teen with permanent PMS" scenario. She SHOULD get over it but she didn't.

I have been to funerals where everyone hugged everyone else and I hardly knew anyone and was VERY uncomfortable.

Although I THINK I can top your story...

My uncle passed away from leukemia. His 4 children were at his funeral. I looked out for my cousin (9 mths younger than me and I was 38 yrs old) to express my condolences. I found her smoking with a friend behind the chapel. I said "I am so sorry Deborah." And before I could say anything else she said "You are obviously more upset he died than I am." I just said "I guess so. I am sorry you feel that way. After all, you aren't 100% Todd (her mothers family)" And walked away. BITCH! And I haven't seen her since.

Karma bit though. When my grandfather passed away their father's share of his Will was significant. But the 4 of them had 6 months to claim it. None of them contacted any of our family in the interim and so after 6 mths the money was further divided between the 4 remaining children (my mother and her 3 brothers).

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Sun, 02/06/2011 - 3:53pm

I'm very sorry for your loss Sad

I'm sorry that on top of that, SD acted like that. I agree with the above poster that she's a teen and lets face it, teens aren't always bundles of joy. However, I do think she needs to be taught how to behave at funerals. This might be the first funeral she's ever been to, but it won't be the last.

I do think she needs a consequence for her behavior, even if its small given how little DH sees her. It'll send a message to his family that he's doing all he can to correct her behavior and teach her how to appropriately handle herself in public. I went to my maternal grandmother's funeral when I was 13. If I had acted like they I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week. I'm not saying that should happen, or that she should act like a robot, but she needs to learn how to deal with her hormones and emotions properly so she can act like a civilized human in public.

I don't know your DH's family but please express my condolences to them, especially his parents and your SILs kids. I cannot imagine what they're going through.