MOTY strikes yet again.
I walked in last night to the kids report cards all in a line on the chopping block.
*sigh*
The first part of my prediction came true.
Last school year, SD started middle school, the kids are court ordered to attend the schools that attach to OUR house. BM chose to move across the suburb (which is fine, I don't like having her that freaking close to me anyway) so basically she has no buses or anything to take the kids from our schools to her house. At the beginning of last school year, DH and BM agreed that DH would pick up SS from elementary school, SD would ride the bus to our house in the afternoons and BM would pick them up from our house. No big deal.
Well DH gets off work about an hour after they get out of school. BM usually wouldn't show up until 6 PM, so DH ALWAYS did the kids homework with them. No big deal again, he enjoys doing it. SD is 13, so she's pretty self motivated but SS has the attention span of a gnat and he literally HAS to have someone keep him on task and make sure he's doing what he needs to be doing. He HAS to have someone go over his spelling words with him or he just won't learn them. He's 9.
When BM had the new baby, she removed SS from daycare and is now picking him up everyday from school. On our days, DH drives over there to get him. As soon as DH told me the change in plans, I made the off hand comment "Now SS's grades are going to go down the toilet."
See last year and most of this year, BM couldn't even be bothered to check SS's backpack. Ss's teacher last year was awesome and always sent home two of everything. DH would leave BM's papers in SS's folder and they would literally sit there for WEEKS. He would send her a text to tell her to check SS's folder about important stuff, nothing. The papers would remain in there. She never signed his folder. She never checked his report card. Yet because of DH, SS maintained straight A's. The only reason she started checking the backpack this year was because SS was struggling in Math. DH mentioned it to her that he needed additional help in Math and she wigged out (apparently Math is her favorite subject, she's SOOOOO good at, yet the woman can't even add properly) and was all "No he doesn't, he needs MY help, because it's MY favorite subject". Whatever lady.
Well, BM had the baby at the end of November. In the two and a half weeks after the baby was born, SS's papers started reflecting 70's. His grade in Language and Social Studies went from a high A to a high B. Now, don't mistake me, I know a B isn't bad by any stretch of the imagination but this kid had a HIGH A TWO WEEKS PRIOR....He came over last night and couldn't spell a damn one of his spelling words (and DH went over them with him Tuesday). BM signed his folder but didn't even bother to go over his spelling words with him...
I really really really hope that when she goes back to work she puts SS back in daycare and DH can start picking him up again. Not just so DH can spend time with them but so he can make sure SS gets the benefit of a helping hand with his homework. Of course DH said something to BM, and her response was typical "There's no problem, I'm mother of the year, I'm doing everything right."
*sigh*
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I feel like I may be in this
I feel like I may be in this boat soon. FDH and BM just got their custody figured out and settled and BM is now going to be primary residential during the school year. FSD is usually pretty good about doing her homework, but she needs someone to sit with her and help. (She's almost 8). FSD said that BM usually makes her go to her room and do her homework, which would be fine if it was just reading, but she has her do math and her English there too. FSD has an extremely bad habit of not putting her stuff back in her bookbag, so she always seems to "forget" stuff at BM's all the time. I am worried that since we are going from 50/50 to EOW, her grades are going to suffer. She already seems like she'll be one of those children who just does enough to get by when it comes to school, and FDH and I try to get her excited about learning and make school seem fun. I doubt BM does the same thing at all. Based on her intelligence, I don't think school was her forte. lol (In mediation last week, this woman actually said in front of the mediator "oh, I've just been doodling this whole time, I haven't written anything down! :jawdrop: ) We'll just have to document and hope for the best. *Fingers crossed!
Gods, story of my life. SS
Gods, story of my life.
SS cannot keep up with ANYTHING. He forgets to put his stuff back in his backpack. He lost his Math book within the first freaking WEEK of school. Looses his jacket, his glasses, his homework. It's seriously irritating.
The worst part is, you ask the kid where something is it's ALWAYS at the other parents house. Mom: "SS where are your glasses?" SS: "At Dad's". SS comes to our house Dad: "SS where are your glasses?" SS: "At Mom's." 98 percent of the time, they are at school.
You'd think that after four years of SS saying this that BM would've figured out that just because SS says his crap is at Dad's doesn't mean it actually is...but NOPE. She always accuses us of taking his stuff or us not making him be responsible. He's 9....high time to start being more responsible on his own, but whatever...what do I know?
I hear ya! FSD just got
I hear ya! FSD just got glasses and already lost 1 pair. She has lost her math packet. She keeps telling me it's at BM's. I know better. I even asked her if she checked her desk "Oh no, I forgot." You were in school all day and didn't look in your desk?!? Her excuses drive me insane sometimes. Then she tries to pull the whole, "it's so hard going back and forth." This child only knows back and forth!! Her parents separated when she was a baby, she doesn't know any different! I tried to explain to her that if she would just put stuff back in her bag, this wouldn't be much of an issue. But then, she'll still forget to hand it in! Since I don't get to be included in the parent/teacher meetings, I can't ask the teacher if she asks for assignments or how it is even possible to not turn something in. I don't get it. I try to tell myself that if BM doesn't seem to care and FDH doesn't see these as big issues, then I shouldn't worry. I can just see a slacker student down the road. I LOVED school! I want her to love it as much as I did. I guess I'll worry for everyone.
I wouldn't be surprised if
I wouldn't be surprised if the "it's so hard the back and forth" isn't something she's parroting from BM. Or if BM isn't bothering to correct the behavior so she has ammunition for further court dates. She might just be lazy but I never put anything past these BM's.
My SS has lost over six pairs of glasses. And BM refuses to buy reasonable glasses, she HAS to spend at least $200 on glasses (that's WITH insurance). We've asked her why she won't just go to Walmart or Target and she's all "Those glasses are cheap and break easily..."
Dude, I've been buying my glasses from Walmart since I was 18....I have only had a problem with one pair breaking and that's because I had them for like 4 years.