Financially challenged, emotionally challenged, why stay?
Being with my BF will mean being financially challenged. His divorce and CS and other expenses related to SD have currently made it nearly impossible to live in his own place...he lives with his mother now and will for the forseeable future or until SD decides she wants to live full-time with BM. He cannot contribute 1/2 to household finances now, maybe in the future, barring some unforseen crisis, which will eventually occur.
Add to the financial stress, his post-divorce situation with BM and SD is less than perfect, fraught with many difficult issues and dynamics...
I love him very much but I am wondering how I can take on all of this in the name of love?
So, for those of you who are with men who cannot be financial partners and additionally bring the stress of their old lives into yours, why do you stay? How do you cope? Does love really conquer all?
Yes, he's trying to fix things but it is a slow slow process with some things that cannot be changed...
- AlexandraL's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I would say, it just depends
I would say, it just depends on what you are able and willing to accept. I would caution any 'new' step to not take on debt to facilitate visitation, as you will NEVER see that money again, as I learned to my sorrow. But at least SD got to see her dad, and we have a lot of good memories of her childhood, is how I look at it.
Child support does end eventually. Kids grow up. If your love for him and his for you, is bigger than all the problems and bs, it will work. Then ideally your man will remember and reward you for standing by him in the tough times. And to me that makes it all worthwhile.
But BOUNDARIES are the key I think.
_________________________________________________________
“Learn by practice.” - Martha Graham