So DH's parents decided to take all the grandchildren on a cruise this summer...bet you can guess the next statement, before I even type it....All the grandchildren, besides my DD. I heard all the excuses, too much money, rooms aren't big enough, too many kids for them to handle (Total of 5, 3 girls all 12 years old, 2 boys, both 16). I was beyond devasted, as my MIL always told me and for them most part, has treated my daughter and I the same as the rest of the family.

DH was LIVID, as he says he has three kids. So it basically left us with a couple of choices, not let his kids go at all, DH didn't like that idea, force his parents to take Kailynn, or let it go and let my daughter be devasted. In other words, give all the kids a strong message, that we really aren't a family so we pick and choose what and who is part of the family.

This was also the year we were going on our first family vacation to Disney. We've gone on vacation every year, but it was DH's family's traditional vacation to Lake George. Something he did with his wife and kids for years before I was part of the family. It was a vacation I practically had nervous breakdowns before we went because I really didn't want to go and my DD didn't want to go, but we did, for the last four years...and for once we were doing something different...but I digress.

DH and I went to our therapist to talk about this and figure out how to make this ok for everyone. Our therapist thought we should talk to his parents and explain what kind of message we want to send our kids and basically say its all or none. That didn't sit well with me, because I didn't want DH's kids to miss out because it would be my fault or Kailynn's fault in the kids eyes. So after the therapists office, DH and I went to a diner to talk it out. We decided together to cancel Disney this year and go on the cruise...we would pay for my daughter and us to go. I called my MIL and she was thrilled.

So we went to the travel agent today and booked the trip with my in-laws. They ended up picking up the tab for DD. DH and I got our own room, and the In-laws and all 5 kids will be across the hall from each other...kids in one room, Grandparents in another. Okay everyone is happy!

So we get home, didn't say anything to the girls, and SS and I started chatting on FB...this is the conversation (Unfortunately, he knew about the vacation and the fact that my DD was being excluded)

Who else did you tell about the vaca with grandma and popop besides your cousin ?
SS: 8:46 pm no one else mom, no one else
8:47pm keep it that way, its supposed to be a surprise
SS: 8:47pm I know. How was today? (He knew we were with his grandparents)
8:47pm ok
SS: 8:48pm i understand how it can hurt, but i look at it the same way as if your father took DD on a vacation i wouldnt be affended.
8:50pm I would be offended if he did that
8:50pm really?
8:50pm yes,we are a family, you don't do for one that you don't do for all
he doesn't look at DD as his granddaugher and you as an extra
he thinks of you all as equals
8:52pm idk i disagree.. Like i love your dad and all but hes not the same as poppop is
also ive only known him for a few years, my grandparents were the closest people to me my whole life
8:53pm good thing you're not the one making the decisions. I think of you as my son, and I've only know you for a few years....the only the steps in this family go up and down
8:55pm its not a good thing that im not, its just what it is in my opinion
8:56pm sorry you feel that way

And that's were the conversation ended. I can tell you now, that he's going to flip that we cancelled Disney and are all going on the cruise. But I will do whatever it takes to protect my DD feelings.