You are here

Been a long time!

always_anxious's picture

I haven't been on in a while, but I'm looking forward to getting reacquainted here. I cancelled my account and gave myself my original username. I also went by helena_handbasket.

Things have been hectic the last three years and are settling enough that i have some time to my self more. Smile Smile Smile

As background, I met my SO when SD was 13 and SS was 11. He was a guilty disney dad with a spoiled daughter and a son who actually was given expectations.

The skids are now 20 and 17 and all of my predictions have come to pass. Guilty parenting did nothing good for SD20 and SS17 has always been self sufficient and responsible is now doing quite well and living with ME!

I hope to hear from some familiar names and meet others I haven't yet!

Comments

irishgirl0727's picture

Hey, there. I am a past member too "Druzzilla" (I'll probably be kicked out again now..lol) I think I remember you, I am back to just give advice, my step issues are pretty calm now. I have successfully ran BM out of our life, SD no longer comes for visits and see's or talks to her dad occasionally when she needs something, but all in all everything's pretty great. We just started refusing to allow their drama in our lives, and I quit giving a damn. Welcome back! Everything has turned out as predicted for us as well, BM disposed of SD last year, SD now lives with grandma, no job not in school 17 yr old pot head with loser crackhead BF.

always_anxious's picture

I remember you! So glad things have calmed for you. Same here. I still have skid issues, but not nearly what they were!!!

Lets hope crackhead BF doesn't knock her up. At least she's with grandma.

JEEMudder's picture

WB!!!

JEEMudder's picture

WB!!!

always_anxious's picture

HA! No. You can tell by his silence when the past comes up, he knows. As per his typical character, he easily reframes his memory so that things are everyone else's fault. Its all BM's fault SD is the way she is.

always_anxious's picture

Hi Sally! SO and I are still together. Unfortunately, he screwed up at work and got demoted and relocated. I made a conscious decision to keep my job and support myself and BS and stay put. There were no jobs for my field in the area he was moved. Its been 3 years, but he comes home on the weekend. NOT what either of us wanted. Maybe selfish of me, but I refused to put myself in a situation where I was financially dependent upon someone else. Even moreso, since his screw up is what got him moved.

He recently got a promotion and is trying to stay out of trouble, but was relocated farther. In the last year, SS17 went to go live with his dad last fall because he got caught smoking pot and sneaking out of his mom's house. A stroke of luck with crossed lines at verizon, my SO was getting texts that SS was writing to his girlfriend and friends. That's what got him caught. He went straight to BM's and said you are a POS parent and this one is going to make it. He's coming with me.

After some time with SO, SS found he was lonely (SO works a lot) and didn't fit in at the school. Plus SO was getting moved again and we decided SS could come with me. He is doing AMAZING. All A's AP classes and doing extracurricular's with the local aerospace company. Plus a job. Got rid of the stupid girlfriend. He's doing so well.

That's pretty much why he's with me.

Tuff Noogies's picture

helena, welcome back! i remember you from back when i lurked Wink

so thrilled about your ss. that sounds just like lurch (mss16) and i, he even asked if something happened to dh if he could stay living with me.
sorry your dh put himself in such a shitty position regarding work/distance, but i'm sure glad he stood up straight to bm and took ss.

DaizyDuke's picture

I thought you had the SD about the same age as mine who acted terribly too! But then I thought maybe I was confused! What ever happened to her? What is she doing now? Where is she living?

Wasn't your SS tolerable? Whatever happened to him?

always_anxious's picture

Oh Daizy! So nice to "see" you!!!

SD20... Well, when she was 14 she came to live with us to go to private school (our pubic schools are not very good). She basically didn't like it and wanted to go back to live with BM--After 3 months and $12,000. Off she went. We were lied to by BM and SD for the whole next year and a half and found out she was getting Ds, and Fs and grounded all the time. Finally Sd admitted it to her dad and out came the fact that she and BM lied for over year.

After graduation-- yes surprisingly she graduated sans pregnancy-- she is in community college. I was actually quite happy about that. then ss told me how much she hates school and her grades are bad. He said she's probably going to quit. She smokes pot--a lot-- and works as a cashier. She had her own place with a roommate but now she's back to living with BM. She's had more than 3 traffic accidents-- no doubt high i'm sure-- and her car insurance is through the roof.

None of this is mine or SO's responsibility. He talks all nice and fatherly to her (in that annoying skin crawling guilty dad way) when she visits, but then talks about her being a piece of shit. Way to go dad. We only see her at holidays and that is wonderful!!!

SS17 is amazing. He has real career aspirations and is already taking AP courses. Highly involved in extracurriculars and already pulling together his college list. We get along very well and are probably too much alike for his father's liking, haha. He's a good kid, smart and practical.

How are you!?!?!?

Shaman29's picture

Nice to see you again Helena! I'm glad to hear your SS is doing well.

You are a lot smarter than I though. I decided after being separated for a year, to give H a second chance (well really it was probably more than that)and join him in his new location. Skid was 19 at the time and on her own. Uberskank moved to another state. I thought things could be patched together and we could move on. Nope. Same old BS, different location. Working on exit plan.

thinkthrice's picture

Welcome back!! All 3 of my skids continue to be PASed out but Chef is turning into a crotchety old man at the ripe old age of 48.

always_anxious's picture

So nice to see you here. I've thought of you on occasion wondering how you are doing Smile

I hope they are not frequent guests.

secondplace's picture

Glad things are going well for you now. When I saw you were back, my first thought was "oh no, what happened?".

I used to find your stories quite entertaining. You were definitely a poster child for "Disengaged Step-Mom".

Welcome back in any case!