:O
Hello All!
I am new to the venting out loud thing but I need advise!!!!!
I have been married for 6 years, together for 9.. He had a 9 year old boy and a 10 year old girl when we met.. They stayed with their mom because he traveled for months at a time... Well I moved to california from Missouri to be with my husband, he moved to california from Idaho because that s where his ex wf was born and raised.. We had just gotten our appartment and found out we were going to have a baby... He was out of town when the ex found out... (Mind you I am a no good whore to this woman!)
As soon as she found out I was pregnant she rushed right over with the kids in tow.. She said ' BI**h you wanna be a mom then you can raise these kids!!' She threw there stuff out and told them not to call her because she would be changing her number and the locks on the house.. Then she peeled off!! Here I am with my jaw on the groud tryng to wrap my head around what had just happend!! While the kids were screaming for there momma to come back!
Well she refused to have anything to do with them for months.. I had the job of both mom and dad from day one!!! I had the baby, she was 9 weeks early due to all the stress I was in.. I had to leave MY baby in the ICU 90 miles away so I coul dcome home and cook and clean and make sure the kids got off to school, had their lunch, made t home from school, did their home work had their dinner ect.... It klled my to not be able to be with MY baby because she refused to be a mother to her children so I could be a mother to mine!!! When she finally did start having something to do with them it was only to spite me.. Only when they were in trouble or grounded did she pick them up and spend 500.00 at the mall!! Seriously! She would say aww shes sooo mean I wish you did not have to deal with her-- meaning me!!!!! My step dtr moved in with her mom 3 years later because she despritly needed her moms attention.. her mom threatned to kill her self for the 10th time and the Step dtr thought if she moved in with her mom she would be able to save her!! only rule was she was not allowed to talk to us or have anything to do with her father as long as I was married to him!!
The step son lived with us.. It was a battle every single day because dads way of parenting is to burry his head in the sand and give the boy cash and the freedom to do what ever it was that he pleased because he was rarley there and did not want his son to hate him too! So needless to say we have very diffrent thoughts on parenting so we have and do butt heads when it comes to his 2 kids! We have 3 kids together.. 8, 5, and 3..

So any way that was the beginning! fast forward 9 years...
It has been a strugle for me to say the least! the step dtr only comes around on christmas and if we r lucky she will com eto our kids birthday parties! so she has a 1 1/2 year old baby that her mother has claimed.. she said we have our own kids and we do not need to have anything to do with the baby!! we have seen her baby maybe 5 time since she was born and she drives by our house daily! The boy signed up for the national gaurd when he was in 11th grade!! Great choice for him! He really needed the structure and disapline from someone other than me!! We had the boy nearly through school 3 months left to be exact.. He had been babysitting for me on occaition.. the last straw for me was when I came home from work and found 5 lbs of pot hanging in my garage!!! He had left my babies at home alone to go out and steal the pot from god only knows where!!!!! I was livid!! He was baging it up to sell! So I told the husband he needed to get rid of it.. 7 DAYS later it was still there!! And his dad would text him to see where he was in our truck.. The boy would text back.. Oh Im selling a few bags in town Ill be home later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am floored that this is ok with his dad!! So said if its not outta here by 8 am iin the morning I will load it up and take it to the cops! It was still there so I did!! Well needless to say the boy was beyond pissed that I had STOLEN his weed!! So he flew off the handle and threatned to kill me.. In front of my 3 small kids! Oh and hubby to!! He then stormed out and came back later that night.. I was soo pissed that the hubby let him talk and act that way.. hubby just said what do you want me to do????? I was like take hs damn phone away and tell him he cant drive our car untill he pulls his head outta his ass! So when he came home the hubby tried to take his phone.. it ended with my hubby on the floor a hole in the wall and the hubby had 3 broken ribs!!!! Then he says are you happy now? tried it ur way and it did not work.. So he moved in with his mom the next day.. Well she lives 40 miles away from us and he had school every morning.. She knew that I had pushed that boy from day one to do good in school.. so what does she do?? Offers him a deal.. dont graduate.. quit school now.. get ur ged and go to wor with her new husband.. He refused that deal because he was sooo close to graduating! She then refused ot drive him to school so the hubby said he had to move back in and finish school.. I was not happy about that but was ok with it because he did need to graduate.. and he was set to leave for bpot camp 3 days after that..
Fine and dandy.. he graduated barley because of all the missed days.. he left 3 days later with his requiter and was off to boot camp.. they stayed in a hotel 90 miles away for te 1st night so they could get ready and board the plane at 4 am the next morning.. well he texted me at midnight and said he had made the wrong choice and was not wanting to go any more... I encouraged him.. told him how he could do this and to stay positive.. well he also texted his mom.. who offered he yet another deal.. this time he accepted and she drove the 90 miles at midnight and picked him up!!!!!! in the middle of the night! OMG! I so wanted to strangle her!! So that was a year ago this month.. It was like 6 months or so after that when the boy started coming back around.. We are self employed and struggeling every day! So the hubby has been having the boy work for us.. he sits in the truck most of the time texting so I hired 2 new people for the big job we had a so he stepped it up the last eek and I have been proud of him! But yesterday he was at work with his dad and he spent the whole morning on the phone because he found a car and convinced his rich grandma to pay for half.. so he was trying to sell 4 lbs of pot all morning so he could come up with the other half.. soo my husband came home from work at noon soo mad he could spit nails he told me he was going to call his mom and let her know he was dealing allot of pot!! Well he soon changed his mind and said Im not talking to that crazy ass nut.. so I sent her a text message letting her know that her son was trying to sell 4 lbs of pot.. well the boy calls hs dad asap and said 'mom is raving about her sendig that text and she sad Im an adult and I can do what ever I want.. and mom said if she texts one more time that she wll kick me out and so mom said i could stay here but I am not allowed to talk to you or work with you because her sending texts to my mom is too mentaly draining and shes gong to loose it.. so i vented a bit on facebook.. so my step dtr who I have not heard from in months commented on my vent which was in no way too obviouse for everyone to know what I was talking about.. so then my step dtr commented saying how she did not apprciate me talking about her mom on facebook and how I am childsh for fighting with her mom over the boy!! So i let her have it!! I was like what the hell! if one of my kds ere doing something that could get them killed then Id want to know about it at least!! so as of right now Im the bad guy to everyone! My hubby is mad because now his son is no allowed to talk to him and his dtr hates him! Im just kinda like what the fuck people!! why am I the bad guy that everyone is mad at!!! Im just trying to do the right thing here!!! Im pissed also because my kids have no idea what a family is because we chose to be here wth these kids! My kids see an old lady at wal mart and the simply say hi grandma! its hard! every christmas, thanksgiving and birthday is just mom and dad! no one else! It sucks becuse they will never have that chance to know their family! we are 3500 miles away! and the family we do have here the 2 step kids hate us soo much they never come around!