Reflecting on where my life is at currently. A few weeks ago, my DH was in California for work and my SS and BD were in a competition for school. I attended and they both did well and moved on to the next level. I had contacted BM and offered to drop SS off since I was there and they finished early but she declined. Later in the evening I received a text asking me and BD to dinner to celebrate. As much as I didn't want to, I put my big girl panties on and went really only for my DH as he felt bad he couldn't be there. Dinner was fine, kids had a good time and other than being internally on edge the whole time I did as well.

Now, years ago I would have considered BM and myself friends if you will. We had a very good relationship and then suddenly it went to shit. The pas started and I completely disengaged. She then got her head out of her arse about a year later but I have maintained a disengaged relationship until now...I am really hoping this doesn't come back to bite me so I am optimistically guarded. Maybe it means we have turned a corner but I don't know if I will ever rid my mind of the dangers lurking. The PAS and bs for that year has nearly cost me my marriage. Years later we still have the effects from it.

Just putting my thoughts in writing I guess. Who knows what the weekend will bring as DH is home and SK's come back tonight. We shall see.