So the other day I get on the home computer and see my D15 is still signed into Facebook. For some reason I said to myself, let’s see if she’s still friends with my old exBF on here. I checked, and sure enough, she was. I know, I should have left well enough alone, but curiosity took over me and I looked at his page.

I was quite shocked to see that he was engaged to be married. Now, getting married was not the shocking part, the shocking part was how soon. July 3 he posts he’s in a relationship, then as of August something he’s posting he’s engaged.

So I’m blogging this to help me work through this.

This is the man that I was in a two year relationship with that had a 7 year old son. He spoiled his son, didn’t make him mind, let him interrupt and dominate our adult conversations. Whenever I would say something to BF about his son’s behavior, he’d get defensive, say I was singling his son out, that my daughter did it too, etc. Funny, he had no problem telling me about my daughter’s behavior, but got all bent out of shape when I would point something out about his son’s.

Okay, Amber I tell myself - reality check: what do I care if he’s only been dating this girl for one month or one day or one year?

I ask myself, do I regret breaking up with him? No.

Do I wish I was still with him/ still have feelings for him? No. I knew I was over him when I noticed I stopped looking at every white van that drove by to see if he was in the driver’s seat.

So why am I still thinking about it?

Part of me is actually worried for this poor lady, if they’ve only been dating a little while, does she really know what she’s getting into with his son?

Not to mention, exBF works for himself as a painter/handyman. He’s 44 years old and has never paid taxes. Never, ever in his entire life. Of course he waited to tell me this until after we’ve been dating for several months. He owes IRS $70,000 in taxes.

That also means he has never paid any social security taxes, he also has never saved any money for retirement, so when he turns 65 he will have nothing to fall back on. I increasingly started pressuring him to do something about it, and he kept stalling. I became worried that years would past without him doing anything and when it came time to retire we would be living solely off of my retirement savings, the way his mother was supporting his father because he didn’t have any retirement savings either. At the time of our break up he still had not done anything about his tax situation, and in addition to issues with his son was another big reason for the break up.

Now I wonder how his tax situation will affect things with his soon to be wife. I’m sure she’s going to want to file taxes, how will his owing all this back taxes affect her? I hope he's told her. The way I found out was kind of sneaky, he finally had to own up to it after my repeatedly asking him questions about it because things were not adding up.

Part of me has a sick, twisted desire for him to go through the same thing with his soon to be wife that he went through with me. – Me, complaining about his son’s behavior. So he can see that it wasn’t just me, that I was right, he was wrong.

I want to be the bigger person and wish him well, but part of me hopes after a year or two of marriage that she gets fed up with his lack of parenting and leaves him. Gosh, what's wrong with me? How sick am I to secretly wish that on another person?