I dated a man for two years that had a 7 year old son. From the beginning I saw that his son misbehaved a lot, but I was in denial. Maybe it won’t be that bad, I told myself. I was so in love with BF, I thought we could make it work.

BF’s son was spoiled. He didn’t want to share his toys, was a picky eater, was a smart a$$, did not listen to what he was told to do, and thought he was a little adult who constantly interrupted and tried to interject his way into adult conversations. His father made excuses for his son's behavior. He only saw his son every Wednesday and EOW and he didn’t want to spoil the small amount of time he had with his son by disciplining him. I couldn't say anything to him about his son’s behavior without BF getting super defensive. He would say I was picking on his son or couldn't accept his son. I finally got tired of the situation and broke up with him.

Since then I've talked to him a couple of times, just as friends. Ex-BF told me he realized what I was telling him about his son’s behavior and that he was going to start making his son mind. Also, he got full custody of his son. The BM decided she didn't want to deal with the boy anymore and just gave him to the BF. So now there should be no excuse as to why he couldn't get his son to behave now that he has his son 24/7, right?

Okay, so a couple of months later he invited me and my two daughters over for his son's birthday. Our kids are still friends, so we went. Well, exBF's son had a neat tricycle that the son and my D6 were taking turns riding. It was the kind that spun around in place. D6 patiently waited while the son rode the trike for a while and then it was her turn. D6 isn't on the trike for TWO seconds and the son is chasing D6 all over the street, "Can I ride now? Let me ride now" pestering her the whole time she was trying to ride!! He was following so close next to my D6 she couldn't spin the trike around like she wanted to or she would hit him.

Both me and ex-BF are in the yard, and I see what's happening. ExBF is standing right next to me, but he is completely oblivious to what his kid is doing.

Another time, I had to go over to his house to pick up some mail that had went to his house instead of mine. When I was there we chatted for a minute. I’m sitting at the table with ex-BF, trying to have a conversation with him. His son comes and sits down at the table with us. His son keeps interrupting us and trying to interject his little two cents into our adult conversation. And instead of telling his son to go play so we could talk, ex-BF lets him interrupt. I finally got fed up and said I had to go.

It just made me glad I made the decision I did to break up with him. At one point we had even talked about having a child together. I’m so glad I didn’t. That is why I am so adamant with some women who wonder and hope and pray that their NC SO/boyfriend/fiancé will change. People only change when they want to, and even when they want to it’s hard for them to change. If it has been in their nature to be a lazy parent all this time, it takes a lot of effort on their part to change.