Vacation with blended family
My FH, and step kids are leaving for Boston/New York on vacaton for 10 days on Saturday. I already have a "pit" in my stomach because presently my SD11 wants nothing to do with me and I feel like an outsider when we are all together. She completely ignores me and wants nothing to do with me. Doesn't say nasty things or anything, just acts like I am invisible. SS13 and I on the other hand have a great relationship. They kids just returned from vacation with their mom and we get them tonight. I am trying to be positive as I don't want to be down all week on vacation, but feel like when the kids are with this (since she started treating me this way - 6 months ago) I am excluded to a certian extent. I never felt like this the previous 4 years I have been in their life. My game plan is to try not to let her get to me and concentrate on having fun with SS, but I have to be honest, I really struggle with this. I guess I am not as strong of person as I thought because this 11 year old has brought me to tears on multiple occasions.
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It brings you to tears becuz
It brings you to tears becuz you care about her and your relationship. Do the best you can, stay strong--talk to her like you normally would. Maybe after a good day you two can sit down and talk about the problems you are having. It doesn't hurt to get SS point of view on this. He may know something you don't.
Vacation with Blended Family
You value the relationship with both of your stepkids, which is great. I wonder, with the a recent difference in your stepdaughter- if she is approaching puberty. If so, then it's time to carve out a new relationship with her. She may be uncomfortable with the changes happening inside of herself.
Continue to be friendly with her, but praise her on her getting older (doing more responsible things, taking a more active role in family events, etc.)
My other guess would be that she is a little jealous of your relationship with her Dad (again a puberty thing.) Take some time out of your vacation to have a "ladies afternoon" and go for tea, or a manicure, or something else girly that she would enjoy.
Good luck. Keep loving your stepkids and your husband, and you can't go wrong.
Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC
Shirley is a stepmom to 3 kids, and biological mom to 2 kids, ages 14-21. She is a counselor, coach and author. Shirley has a passion for helping blended families be strong and successful. Http://www.blendedfamilyadvice.com