You are here

i cant help but feel like things will never change

andrew_street's picture

Submitted by andrew_street on Sun, 04/06/2014 - 12:01am

I don't have an exit. There is nothing i can do to make things better. She says she loves me but is a bitch the next minute....all...the...time. nothing i ever do is good enough. She rarely has sex with me no matter what i do. She blows thru our money and then blames it on me. Her kids excluding my 5mo with her are lost causes because they are so fucked in the head its rediculous. My parents have the attitude of "well...you signed up for this" and im basically alone. My friends dont like hearing me talk about it anymore and i am all alone banished to the couch for the night with nothing but our small online community. This just blows.

Comments

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Sun, 04/06/2014 - 7:12am

I know when we went through a tough time, I socked away $50.00 a month in my own bank account. Not a lot of money, certainly not enough to exit but I felt like i was doing something. I felt so powerful my whole attitude changed & low and behold my change in attitude, changed our whole relationship. Just that simple act of doing something for me, making my choices my priority felt so wonderful. It changed my responses to everything else.

Do something for you. Best of luck to you.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Sun, 04/06/2014 - 8:24am

I am sorry you are at this juncture in your marriage.

The first thing may be to set up a separate bank account and ONLY put what she needs (not wants) into the shared account. Do you pay the bills? Then you get more control over what she has access to without too much trouble. If she is 'in charge' work out what is your share or what necessary bills you are committed to (e.g. rent/mortgage, water, power, gas)and keep the rest for yourself. Tell her she cannot have access to the money. It is invested. OK, in a bank account but still... invested.

I have found a lot of women think they are princesses and their husbands are there to pay for everything they 'want'. Their husbands should worship their Golden Uterus and they will love their husbands exactly the way they feel that they want to. So what have you got to lose? You are already sleeping on the couch. How much further can she banish you? The car?

And when she behaves like a bitch, ask her "Why are you so cruel?" No one wants to be cruel. Don't raise your voice to her. Just ask her... why are you so cruel?