OT - Bingo
Five days from now will be the start of Hell Week for me. It's SS18's graduation and.... we get to spend 4.5 days with BioHo! 'Ho's husband, Mr. Pinhead, will be there, along with Spawn10 (lil hoochie mama) and PigPen15 (bearded boy bun). A friend of mine suggested that, as a way to quietly entertain myself, I make a BINGO card with squares that pertain to things like:
- Requests for money
- Inappropriate attire (this would be for 'Ho and Spawn)
- Exposed cleavage you could hide a Happy Meal in ('Ho luuurrrrrvvvsss wearing skimpy tops that show her inch-wide bra straps)
- How many knife stabs to the eye would be more fun
- Things you do NOT say in front of children/strangers
- Inappropriate personal questions
- Oh, no, you di'int!!!
- Detectable body odor
Help me fill out those squares!!
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Comments
How about laps? Is spawn a
How about laps? Is spawn a lap sitter? Snicker...
Eeeeeewwwww!!! It honestly
Eeeeeewwwww!!! It honestly would not surprise me in the least. She better not try to crawl into MY lap. Blech. DH never let the SDs sit on his lap after 6-7yo.
Bahahahaha
Bahahahaha
The first time we took SD(then 23) on vacation to an AI my best friend and I made a pact. If I got drunk and started to say things about BM, my bff was to grab me and say “That’s not appropriate” Luckily she never had to do it.
It did start a tradition for us though. If either of us gets drunk and starts doing something stupid we will stop each other “That’s not appropriate” has become our safe word, hahaha.
Note: we aren’t Total drunks but we do vacation together at AIs a lot and the alcohol sometimes flows a little too freely.
Admittedly, if I DO drink, it
Admittedly, if I DO drink, it won't be more than 1-2 glasses of wine. Otherwise, I might tell 'Ho what I think about her!!
Oh, oh, oh! Can I add some?!
Oh, oh, oh! Can I add some?!
- Talking about your BF in front of your kids while you're still married.
- Showing off inappropriate piercings to your XH in public
- Using a Southern twang when speaking despite having ALWAYS lived in a city and going to a city school
- Talking about how you almost throat-punched the principal of the kids' school
- Ask a question on behalf of the kids - "the kids wanted to know if...", which is usually followed by a request for more money/time/things
- Gripe about GBM from BM
- Flirt with XH
Wait, this might only apply to me...
LMAO!!
LMAO!!
Inappropriate piercings could fall into the same column as Showing Dirty Bra Straps ('Ho lurvs spaghetti-strap tops, but her over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder straps are 5x as wide).
FYI, Lt. Dad, my Mom was a southern belle. She was the only one of her siblings to leave the area. I speak Southern.
I have a few
Boundary crosser
Dysfunctional Families
Facial Hair (that might just pertain to my BM)
Drunken Texts
Where's my daddy
Where's your balls
Toxic Events
LMAO!!
LMAO!!
Dovina!! 'Ho IS the
Dovina!! 'Ho IS the dsyfunction!!!
Facial hair, unfortunately, can pertain to me.
Where's my daddy... no one knows who fathered PP and Spawn's drank himself to death 6 years ago.
For the center square:
"Dadddddeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy"
That would only be SS18 and
That would only be SS18 and PP (who DH raised). DH is SS18's favorite person. They are two peas in a pod, which p!sses off 'Ho to no end. She's jelly!!
OMG
OMG...love the comments...maybe you should have faint circus music playing in the background at times,,,sounds like a freak show....you can always stroll around with wine in a coffee cup, then nobody would know you were drinking (I do that at family events)
NS, at Christmas, I drank
NS, at Christmas, I drank tequila out of a wine glass. It looked just like chardonnay!!!
Oh
OH-you could play that mental game where you picture everyone naked.........or not
Cue the violent, projectile
Cue the violent, projectile vomit emoji!!! 'Ho is built like a stack of tires. She lurvs to wear skintight clothing that grips every fat roll and digs into every crease. She may as well be naked!!
Oh Aniki you poor woman, say
Oh Aniki you poor woman, say it ain't so. 4 days to many.
Not sure this will work on your bingo card but I would be thinking these thoughts,
Is it over yet.
What in the he!! did my DH ever see in this BIOHO.
I would be saying "just keep my mouth shut just keep my mouth shut".
Please take some good mental notes so you can give us some of your awesome blogs about this.
And I will be sending my positive vibes your way when you are gone. HUGS
You get the best wife ever prize! Your husband is a lucky man.