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OT - Eff Off Friday

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Friday at last! This has been a loooooong and stressful week and next week is shaping up to be a repeat. Yippee.

Eff off to:

  • That overlord of wasting the time of others, King Pita. KP, our names are on the original email. RIGHT THERE. We got the bloody email. Why do you have to forward it to us EverySingleTime? Gads. As for that other issue that I handle every freakin' month and have been doing so without any need of your interference, er, ASSistance for many months? No, I do NOT need to do an effing zoom meeting with you to do my effing job. Frankly, I'd rather pluck out nose hairs every day than spend a single minute meeting with you.  *dash1*
  • Orange juice in my margarita. Dammit. I was NOT thinking last night when I ordered a margarita to drink while waiting for our To Go order. It had orange juice in it. While I have zero problem eating oranges, my guts do NOT like orange juice.  *bad*
  • Territorial spiders. WHY must you build your web over the mailbox? There are PLENTY of other places on the house where you could construct your web and we could live in harmony. But, no. You have to build it right over the mailbox. And on the side of the mailbox. And across the top of the mailbox. And run stringers from the effing mailbox and across the sidewalk to my hanging planter and we walk though it and get spider web ickles all over our faces. The Spider Relocation Program is going to consist of ickle-covered Aniki flinging your smushed remains into the grass. 



We've just been given a return to office date. Unless something drastic changes, no more WFH extensions and I will have to occupy the same building as that asshat, KP. Heaven help me. I have turned into an uber-recluse and need polite ways to:

  • Say if it isn't work-related, GO AWAY.
  • Refuse to discuss the C and V words. I don't give a rat's patootie if they've been stuck or not; had 'rona or not; been exposed or not. I simply do NOT want to talk to anyone unless it is a) necessary, and b) work-related.


Wishing you a stress-free and enjoyable weekend!


advice.only2's picture

Eff off to the damn heat and humidity that won't let up. We live in the dessert so it's normally hot and dry. We have swamp coolers, not refrigerated any humidity renders the swamp coolers useless. These last two months have been an exercise in sweat and misery! I am over it!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Ugh! That DOES sound miserable. I visited Tucson 35+ years ago and it was awful. Here, I can go jump in the cool waters of Lake Superior. Hope that humidity effs right off!

TheAccidentalSM's picture

My new employers (bought the old company I worked for) are doing a massive re-organisation and offshoring.  They have a very different approach to looking after their employees than the old organisation.  They have put one of the junior teams on notice of redundancy.  These are mostly graduates with less than 2 years service so they have zero rights to statutory redundancy (minimum legal amount an employer has to pay you to get rid of you in this country, its not much but its something) and they are insisting that they all work their notice periods rather than pay them.  Again in this country its fairly normal not to be forced to work your notice.  

I know, because I see all the deals, that they don't treat the senior leavers as badly.

And the amount they'd have to pay would be chump change.

And they are asking these kids to work extra hard to facilitate the offshoring activity.  

In my old company the culture was that you made sure the junior and least well paid people got treated right.  For example, there were plenty of times that we cut senior bonuses to add money to the junior bonus pot, etc.

This makes me sad. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

That IS sad! I grew up to have an excellent work ethic and to be loyal to my employer. It used to be that many employers/companies were loyal to their long-time employees. You don't see that any more. We're all expendable and the companies/employers only care about their bottom line. Sad

TheAccidentalSM's picture

I've been questioning the company culture since day 1 but this just solidified how I feel.

Gimlet's picture

The joy of offshoring, where the C-level gets a bonus and the rest of the organization has to pick up the slack.

We just outsourced/offshored our service desk and it's been a nightmare (as usual, I have never seen this go well).  The executive that led it just got let go, but we're still stuck with this crap decision and terrible service and we lost good people in the process.

Thanks, I hate it.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Gimlet, Aniki

This is going to be an offshoring/outsourcing car crash.  We already had the outsourcing company do a review of the process that the new bosses are trying to give them.  The verdict from the outsourcer to the old management team was that they didn't want to take on the project because the process was so complicated it was doomed to fail.  They wanted us to streamline the process in-house and then get the outsourcers back to do another review.

There have been NO changes to the process so this is going to be a massive disaster.  I might get some popcorn for the show.  Thankfully, it doesn't directly impact my day to day job but it is going to be a sh*tshow.

Stepdrama2020's picture

Office politics.

I hate playing the game. Too much to write. Had to laugh though, two of the bitchy women in the backroom were mimicking me. "DANG we are busy"   excuse me ladies you dont say it nearly as good as me.

So DANG OFF to the office bitches. Luckily my boss loves me, so if I mention this to him he will go off on them. I wont though, I fight my own battles  Smile

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Oh, ISH! Office politics is the pits. All I want to do is go in there and do my damn job. I am not there to make friends; I am there to WORK. 

ESMOD's picture

Eff off to companies that are too lazy and don't trust their employees to work remotely despite asking us to do just that and effectively for the last year and a half.

Eff off to people who try to take advantage of you when you are "down".

Eff off to being sick for 3+ weeks and not eating a dang thing.. and only losing a handful of pounds.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Oh, that sucks!!! We are waiting word about how things will be when return. Will we be able to work remotely at all or will it be 100% back in the office? If it's 100% back in th office, I guarantee that production will go down and absence will go up. 

Hope you're feeling better soon, ESMOD! *give_rose*

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Hope you feel better soon Esmod

Completely agree about productivity.  I had to go into the office yesterday and I was so unproductive.  I didn't have access to half my data, I don['t have my screens so have to work off a tiny (extra small) laptop, no proper keyboard.  Thank duck, I remember to put a mouse in my bag.  And then people kept grabbing me to catch up/grab a coffee/something AKA to try to gossip.

ESMOD's picture

I actually 100% cleaned out  my office before I left.. except for my monitor.  I plan on having nothing in my cube and not attending any meetings in person.  I will continue to operate as if I was remote.... lol.

Cover1W's picture

The place where one of my firends works tried saying everyone back 100% as of X date.

The employees revolted. Literally they told management they would either leave, refuse to come in, or they could be fired (go ahead!). The management had to step it back now they are only going in 1-2 times per week.

We are 1x per week now, then in the fall (unless Delta varient stalls things) 2x per week. That's our max. I told my supervisor I will not commute 3x or more per week, there's simply ZERO need for it when we've proven ourselves MORE than capable remotely. I said, if I add commutes into my day you are already getting 1.5 less hours of work out of me. No commute = I can work a little longer to get things done within reason. A commute is a hard stop on work at a specific time.


ESMOD's picture

I have made those same arguments.. unfortunately, I'm really not in a great position to quit.. my job is fairly specific to a particular industry and would not be able to be replaced in my region really.  I could technically do early retirement but that's not a good financial move either.  I have a pension too.. so have a vested interest in sticking it out.. 

I'm particularly concerned with all the talk of the Delta variant.. remasking.. vaccines losing effectiveness.. ughh.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Rumor has it that some plan to quit if we have to go back to the office 100%. Frankly, it's damn ridiculous. We have proven that not only are we productive; we are MORE productive. 

This is what will happen when I must be in the office:

  • Start no sooner than 5 minutes before my given start time. IOW, no more logging in 15-30 minutes early and working.
  • No more staying after EOD. When my time is up, I'm mentally sprinting for the door.
  • No more logging in nights or on weekends to check on projects because I can't sleep. They'll have to wait until I'm back in the office the following work day.


And I am done being sociable at work. DONE. With all that has gone on and people's nosiness and pushiness... D-O-N-E. I will go in, stick in earplugs, and put my nose to the grindstone. Do NOT come into my cubicle for a conversation. Do NOT try to yammer at me over my cubicle wall. Do NOT talk about the C or V words. Take all of your cooties and get the eff away from me. I'm going 1000% unsociable Finn.

I am honestly considering looking into a friend's suggestion I come to work at her FT remote company so I can live in my cave.

Cover1W's picture

Exactly how I do it when I have to commute. Very strict on my time and since with my commute (as with many others in my region) is 3 hours round trip - at best 2.5 - you get yourself a 12 hour day. NOPE to weekend/after work logging in.

However, I am sociable at work and like it. But I also have a private office. And I'm pretty isolated at home and NEED TO LEAVE sometimes.

Gimlet's picture

I think it's a combination of lazy management and giant office leases that are a sunk cost, but feeling like they need to get the "value" out of them.

Most of us are working more.  I'm pretty much always available and have been starting work before 7 every morning and I love it.  I get way more done and have had the quiet time to focus and even take some training I've been targeting for a while.   Overall, productvity is up and we launched a major project this year, 100% remotely.

We do have some people on the team who are absolutely taking advantage of work from home.  I don't care when/where work gets done as long as your deliverables are solid and on time, but when you don't show up to a meeting because you're running your kids around, or grocery shopping, or at the salon/gym whatever - we've got a problem.

So instead of addressing the slacker people directly, everyone pays.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Fortunately, we have not had any of those absences. When people don't show up to a meeting it's because they are in another meeting or have nothing to contribute because they're working on something else (often the case for me). 

For us, there is someone(s) higher up who wants bodies in the office. Disregard the fact that productivity is the best it has ever been and the costs/absences are the lowest. He/she/they want bodies in there. I will bet you money I don't have that my place of work's productivity will go down while costs and absence go up. 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

The big boss is insisting that we have to be back in the office.  Never mind that there is literally not enough room for us to be in the office at the same time.

There are some of the junior who really want to be back in the office because they don't have a proper work home office space. (Think studio apartment or shared apartments)  But I have an entire room set up as an office with white board, bid desk, screens, keyboards, sofa.  I don't need to be there except that I did enjoy getting away from the summer pollen in the filter air.  Plus I got sushi for lunch instead of a quick sandwich out of what ever is in my fridge. 

Slight change of topic but OMG the cost of going to work is insane:

  • transit $6
  • drink/breakfast $2
  • sushi and prawn crackers $10
  • afternoon drink $1
  • tights/hose $2

That's $21 vs probably $4 for food and drinks at home

Plus I had to wear shoes rather than birkenstocks.  Ouch

Merry's picture

I second that EFF OFF to places that don't trust employees to work remotely.

I live in the conservative south.  My group EXCELLED working remotely. Not everyone loved it, but for those that did, there is no good reason to make them come in to the office to do the same thing they can do, and prefer to do, at home.

This comes from our elected officials. Apparently, some of them had an experience in trying to call a state office and either the phone didn't get answered at all, or the phone was forwarded to someone's home and a child answered it. So, address THAT issue. Don't punish everyone else who did what they were supposed to do, and more.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

For us, there is truly ZERO reason to have bodies physically in the office. My team won a damn award for productivity over the last year!

You and Gimmy are spot on about addressing the ISSUE and not punishing the entire group. 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

The star of my team has been working remotely for years.  A long time ago, she resigned because she wanted to move to another city and I was so horrified at potentially losing her I set up a work from home situation.  Up until Covid times, she's been at risk so many times with new ridgid higher ups because they can't initiially get their heads around it.  But luckily, once I've advocated and they finally take the time to look at her work product, they begrudingly come around to the situation.

And she works all the hours.  I literally have to get cross and order her to switch off.

Cover1W's picture

No Effs really right now.  But I know DH had some last night with YSD15. He was trying to get her to help him make dinner...she was just hanging out in there doing nothing so he asked her to do some things - OR to get her to give an opinion on what he was doing...I was wellllll out of it. So she's reverting back to her wierd mumbling talk where she slurs all of her words together and she was totally not understandable (passive aggressive) and DH kept asking her "What did you say?  WHAT did you say? I cannot undertand you!" Then a few min go by...DH says, "Are you CRYING?!" She denies.

So I stay way out of it. I thought she was going to burst into tears at the table too. I think she's PMSing but she also cries whenever someone pushes her to do something, so DH can deal with it.

Then he's trying to get her to go for an easy bike ride with him (today) but she says something is wrong with her bike brakes, that they don't work well.  This is a BRAND NEW bike that also recently had a tune up. It's got less than 100 miles on it. I say, "That's odd, it JUST had a tune up.  DH, you should hop on it tomorrow and check it out to make sure it's ok."  YSD did NOT look happy with my suggestion - because likely the bike is FINE. DH thought it was an excuse too, but I told him to ride it anyway. If she's refusing to ride it for a BS reason then he can sell it to my friend who needs a bike.

Gimlet's picture

wierd mumbling talk where she slurs all of her words together and she was totally not understandable (passive aggressive)

OMG, YSS does this and it makes me INSANE.  I know for a fact he is capable of a normal volume and diction in his speech and I REFUSE to deal with this.  Will just flat out ignore him or say "Speak up, I can't hear you". 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

SO thankful I don't have to deal with any of the mumbling/crying stuff. While the SDs were pretty much PAS'd during their teen years, the SSs were DH's little shadows and always talked to him. Phew!

Yeah, sell the bike. Sheesh.

IDontCare3117's picture

You can still have office politics while working from home.  You don't want to know the names Fuzzy Umpkins calls me when I tell him my work needs more attention than he does.  He's a master at shoving my laptop onto the floor.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

IDontCare, the majority of our office poltics are the result of little birds flitting around to other cubicles and chirping away. Since I've been WFH, the major politickers have tried and failed to suck me into their BS. FTR, I would luuuuuuuuv to have my darling Mr P back with me and deal with him and his big ol' head shoving my laptop onto the floor. He could call me every name in the book. I miss him so.

IDontCare3117's picture

Those of us who know you know how much you miss Mr. P.  He was your Forever Dog.

I've worked from home for over 8 years at this point.  I don't miss the bullshit of going into an office every day.  Trying to deal with co-workers who were spiteful, lazy, ignorant, or just downright unpleasant people.  Having to do the full hair and make-up thing everyday.  The money I've saved on cosmetics and business clothes has been funnelled into my alcohol and food delivery accounts.  My money is better spent there anyway.


Aniki-Moderator's picture

Yes, Mr P was my Forever Dog and canine soul mate. My heart is still broken after 4 years. Sad

Full hair and make-up thing...LOL! My work hair and make-up consist of sticking my hair up in a bun and slapping some concealer over some splotchy patches. Oh, and a coat of lip balm. That's it. We can wear jeans to work, so no extra exspense there.

I would give my eye teeth to be permanent WFH. There is nothing I miss about the office. Not one bloody thing. A few people claim they miss the socializing. Newsflash, folks: I'm not there to socialize; I'm there to work. I need to figure out how to this now 110% unsociable Finnish curmudgeon can professionally tell people to GTFO of my cubicle. I see no reason why they cannot continue to email me (keeps things on record!). 

Dogmom1321's picture

To my supervisor that keeps contacting me while I have 2 months of maternity leave left. LEAVE ME ALONE. My auto replies are on for a reason!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Whaaaaaaaat?!?! That is a total load of horsepuckey and I woud be ignoring that poopie head like THAT was my job. *diablo*

halo1998's picture

And being put oncall the mondy I'm back and HAVING TO GO TO OFFICE FOR 3 DAYS.

Day one in the office...talked to exactly 1 person for 5 minutes in the office. All other conversations were with people who are across the international date line.

Day two ...talked to no one in the office.  Again talked to people in other states or in the other hemisphere.

Day three...talked to my manager and my co-worker about everything but work.  smh...


I'm the camp of...oh I have to come to the office..good effin luck getting me after 4 p.m. and before 7 a.m.  Yep anything other than between 7 a.m. and 4 p.m....with the exception of 11 a.m. to 12 p.m. (my lunch and my time) off limits now.  

Too bad so sad....

Eff off ot my doggo having epilepsy. Got back from vacation and 24 hours later doggo was having cluster seizures....and now we will be seeing a doggie nerologist next week.  

Upside Vacation was good..  

TheAccidentalSM's picture

But lordy, you need to get off the on call rota and the office sounds nuts.

Fingers crossed for your poor dog

PetSpoiler's picture

I wonder if the work places planning on having their employees come back will change their minds with the covid cases going back up.  I am a stay at home mom right now but I well remember the office politics.  I was not a favorite.  The boss favored people who didn't like me and sometimes those same people would try to get me in trouble over the pettiest crap.  It didn't matter what the complaint was, it was addressed.  A couple of them came to her to complain because I took my breaks!  She addressed it with me!  I suggested to her that she just tell them to shut up, I told her I was entitled to those breaks per company policy and state law.  She acknowledged that but still wanted me to check with them before I took my breaks.  And she couldn't tell them to shut up.  Oh ok, but you can try to discourage me from taking my breaks that are given to me per company policy and state law.  Yet we only had certain times that we could take our breaks and lunch and she'd get mad if we didn't go right on time.  Hello, you can't have it both ways.  I checked with them exactly once.  I said I'm taking my break if that's ok, then as I was walking off I said and even if it's not.  I don't miss that job and when I left I missed exactly one person.  The rest of them I was either indifferent to or just plain didn't like.  Or I didn't know them well enough to have an opinion of them.  Honestly they treated that place like social gossip hour.  I was there to earn a paycheck but some apparently didn't like that I wasn't a social butterfly.  I'm an introvert.  I dread the day I have to enter the work force once again.  With my back problems I'm afraid I'll be forced to work an office job again, if I can even get hired anywhere.  

ESMOD's picture

The powers that be in our company have now backtracked on masking in the workplace.

for the love of all that is holy.. I understand masks can provide protection.. but the WAY many people wear them makes them useless... and wearing a mask constantly for 9-10 hours.. and you can take them off in your cube if you are 6 feet away from another person.. so like our breath doesn't go further.

I will sit in my cube with my mask on and gloves and hood.. and make it clear how uncomfortable I am with the setup.

PetSpoiler's picture

The grand prize winner of eff off today goes to my anxiety and panic attacks.  I hate them with a pink and purple polka-dotted passion.  They serve no purpose other than to make my life miserable and I am so tired of them!  Why must anyone have to endure them?  No one deserves them!  

Eff off to all  possible perimenopausal symptoms!  The crying, the intolerance to heat, the anxiety, the breast tenderness, all of it!  

Eff off period and cramps!  Yes, on top of everything, I started my period yesterday because apparently I'm not being tortured or otherwise annoyed enough.  

Eff off to the heat and humidity that is the bane of existence to anyone who lives in the southeastern United States!  It's hot, it's unbearable.  My AC can't keep up like it should.  I'm starting to hate summer.  Heat didn't used to bother me.  It annoyed me, especially when I would sweat, but I could handle it.  I'm getting too old for this!

Eff off to crying!  I've cried for a different reason today.  Today would have been my dad's 78th birthday.  He died 20 years ago.  I still miss him.  My kids never got to meet him and that hurts.  He was a wonderful father and one of the kindest people to ever walk the earth.  Taken way too soon and proof that God takes the best.  

But there were a couple of bright spots today.  I ran into a friend today who is a bit older than me and we talked about what is going on with me.  It helped.  

I want to give my uncle a huge hug right now.  How could he have known I needed to hear what he called to tell me?  A little back story:  he and my dad were both gifted with beautiful singing voices.  They both would sing in church, sometimes together, sometimes not.  My uncle still sings and can play piano.  Anyway, he was able to get up some recordings of my dad singing and loaded them up on a YouTube channel that he just started a couple of days ago.  On one song, he starts talking before he sings, and what he had to say really spoke to me.  Talking about going through hard times.  I mean, sure, I'm sitting here crying as I type, but in a good way. Dad always had a way of making me feel like everything was going to be ok, even when he wasn't able to advise me.  He always made me feel like it would all work out.  It always did.  It's almost like I heard from him in a way today.  I really needed that.