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Skids moving in

Aniki-Moderator's picture

For those of us whose partner is/was NCP of MINOR skids, what is/was your mindset and why? 

  1. The skids are not allowed to move in.
     
  2. If the skids move in, I'm moving out and we'll date.
     
  3. If the skids move in with us, it's OVER.
     
  4. It's possible the skids could move in with us and I'm prepared for that.

 

To clarify: this is NOT about allowing skids to run from house to house because they have a disagreement with Mommy or Daddy.

 

I'm #4. Growing up, we had foster siblings, so I never gave a second thought to the fact that it was possible my husband could become the CP. This is my second go'round as a SM. The first BM was (is) a crack ho who lost custody of the skids (3 of them) and they moved in with us. My H was an alcoholic, so *I* raised the skids. We all know how THAT marriage ended...

When I married my DH, I already knew how unhappy the SSs were living with BioHo. I encouraged him to give serious consideration to seeking custody and that I would support him. 

So yeah, I'm a #4, all the way. 

    Comments

    Kes's picture

    I think I would like to say #2 as it makes me come across as a more reasonable person, but in actuality it was probably a #1! Several times one or other of the SDs expressed the desire to move in here, when they were not getting on with NPD BM, but I strongly resisted - not least because we don't really have the room.  I also have two grown up daughters, who both have kids, and they come and stay often.  It would just not have been feasible for the SDs to live here. We are actually just on the verge of moving to a bigger house now - but I will still never let either of the SDs come and live with us.  They are not minors any longer, they are both in their 20s, and not my DH's responsibility any more. 

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    Kes, did you resist because you thought it would hinder your BDs visiting or because you didn't want the skids living with you and Neelix?

    Kes's picture

    Both really - but the thing that horrified me was the idea of the SDs (or one of them) living with us!  The fact that we only had a small house, I would add, was solely down to the fact that DH voluntarily paid much more CS than he would ever have been ordered to in a court.  In the UK, these things are rarely settled in court - they are usually decided through your lawyers. 

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    DH voluntarily paid much more CS

    UGH. I'm very thankful that my DH was a) not in a position to do that, and b) would NOT have done it period. If the skids needed things outside of CS, he bought them himself - never gave 'Ho "extra" or "more".  And he paid such high CS, that "extra" and "more" meant he had to go without.

    Willow2010's picture

    #4

     I also think you should not live together or marry until you are prepared for #4.  It took me 7ish years before I would move in with DH.  And also.... BM could die or up and move.

    I also think skids should be allowed to live with the other parent if they are not getting along with the CP or just want to try living with the other parent.   (as long as all parents agree)  But they can only move ONCE.  ONLY ONCE.  If they move back to CP they can not move back in with NCP if it all goes to crap again.  

    I think it is un realistic of anyone to think a man will not let his child move in with him.  I think if a man does NOT let his kid move in because of a partner...they are not a real man/parent.  JMHO

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    Willow, that's one thing that constantly baffles me - that those whose partner has children fail to realize that there is always a possiblity the NCP could become the CP. ALWAYS. I'd been married four MONTHS when my H become the CP.  That put a quick end to the honeymoon phase...

     

    Willow2010's picture

     Aniki....it was about 4 months for me too!  I "dated" DH from the time SS was  9ish to 15ish and then MB up and moved him 3 hours away.  I was finally comfortable to marry/move in with DH since BM and SS seemed so happy where they moved.  They moved, we married, and about a month later and SS came to live with us.   I was so mad...but never let my DH see it because I knew I was being a giant hypocrite.  lol.  

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    Crack ho and the skids were about an hour from us. Her mother called (from Texas!) to tell us that Crack was beeyotching because the state planned to take away the children. Amazingly enough, the skids were (still are) wonderful children who gave me great joy. They were the best part of my marriage to that psycho!

    hereiam's picture

    I would have been okay with it when SD was a minor, I expected it, actually. She only asked to move in when she was 17 and it was part of a scheming/manipulation thing that BM concocted, not a real request because she wanted to live with us.

    Later, when she was about 21 or 22, married, and had 2 kids, she asked if they could "stay" with us for a "few" weeks. That was a hard NO.

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    That scheming is a bunch of BS!

    SDthen16 asked to move in when us because BioHo was going to kick her out. We had everything set up for her when she and 'Ho "reconciled". 

    Adult skids with children? HARD HELL NO!!! And that's what my DH says!

    CLove's picture

    Feral Forger SD20almost21 = #1

    Munchkin SD13  = #4, and her and I have talked at length about it - she will go to college, possibly community college, she will have a drivers license, and a parttime job. Shes a joy to be around and respectful. She can live with us, until she is ready to be independant.

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    CLove, what about when FF was a minor? Was there ever any discussion about her moving in FT?

    CLove's picture

    I am not certain if you recall, but 2 weeks after FF turned 18, Toxic Troll choked, body slammed her and slapped her during a really noisy bad fight.

    She came to stay with us sort of full time. They made up eventually and a few weeks later she was still doing the 50/50 visitation schedule, as urged by DH so we could get a break.

    After high school graduation, she managed to get a job a few towns over, and since she had/has no drivers license = no car as promised from DH. She stayed with the manager of the Dennys she was working at, went no contact and there was no discussion of when she was going to move her things out or anything at all about the living situation. DH purposely did not ask, and 8 months later we completely cleaned out the disgusting pigsty of a room.

    So, DH and I always planned on Feral Forger moving out and on. She was just too much to deal with. Her attitude, her lack of respect, her filth. All these reside with Toxic Troll now - she hasnt changed at all, now at almost 21.

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    Yes - my apologies. I'd forgotten that slap/choke/body slam biz. Thank you for jarring my feeble memory!

    FF and TT are a perfect example of how toxic blood can be irresistable. Gads.

    ESMOD's picture

    #4

    My YSD did actually live with us for a year.. she was in 2nd grade and talked her mom into letting her do it.. because "kids should have a choice too mama".. I will note that my DH agreed to pay BM her full CS during this time which honestly wasn't a huge sum of money.. but he knew that was the only way.

    I will say that both the girls would have been better off FT under our roof.. BM was less emotionally stable with them.. not to an abusive level.. but she ran hot/cold.  They would have had better schools in our area as well.  

    buut.. mommee will die without her precious kids.. so my DH didn't fight it.. kids weren't abused so no real cause to change it.

    Had it had to happen due to BM's death or something.. I would have been ok with it.

    Just as a side note.. I WOULD allow YSD 22 to move in with us temporarily because I know she would keep to her promises to contribute and move out on her own in a reasonable time.  She also respects me and we get along well and she is not a selfish person.

    OSD and her two kids under the age of 4?  HA NO WAY Jose.. Even if it were just her I would be against it because she is just not a pleasant person to be around.  A baby and toddler too?. that would be a big ole NOPE burger for me.

    But.. sure.. when they were both minors.. based upon how they were as minor skids.. yes. 

    It is a different story when you start talking about dangerous behavior that impacts others in the household though.

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    kids should have a choice too mama

    At 7-8yo? Uuuuuuuuh, sure. Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue one? Dang.

    Adult skids is a whole 'nother animal. From outerspace...

    ESMOD's picture

    I will have to admit.. at 7-8 years old.. YSD was much more mature and responsible than her own mother.  I seem to remember her being on vacation with us when she was 9-10.. and her older sister called her (she was 14 at the time) to ask her how to make a grilled cheese.

    The school where YSD was attending at her mom's was pretty bottom of the barrel.  YSD wasn't really running FROM her mother's discipline or anything.. just wanted to be able to have more time with her father.. and her older sister was being a pill to her a lot and mom wasn't around much to help protect her from that sibling bullying.

    They had 50/50.. but for practical purposes... had to have a school home base.. so she wanted to stay with us that year.. honestly, if my DH had asked her.. it would have been a no from mamma.

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    A 14yo asking a 9-10yo how to make a grilled cheese... 

    Had my siblings or I bullied one another, it would have been our arses. Dad and Mom had zero tolerance of that. SMH

    classyNJ's picture

    I was #4 and it happened when SS21 then 18 went to college and SS17 then 13 came to live with us.  At first it was so easy, SS13 was on his best behavior and we were all happy.

    2 months later and it was hell for 3 years.  My DH went on BP meds and I stopped sleeping.  Horrible.

    He has since went back to DBDB and DH and I are happy again.

    Now it stands as #4 for SS21 since I offered him to live with us rent free for 2 years to pay off his small student loan of $20K and #3 for SS17.  We are building a new home and he is not welcome to liver there.

    advice.only2's picture

    I truly never thought Spawn would move in with us, especially since shortly after DH and I married Meth Mouth and her current victim at the time were moving cross country. DH was allowing it and not doing anything to get a visitation schedule in place and I honestly figured not my problem and thank god.

    Sadly we all know how that turned out, Meth Mouth got arrested, went crazy on drugs and we ended up raising Spawn until she was 17, I would say at that point I wanted to leave my DH or move out until she was gone, but I just couldn't do it.

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    Advice, how difficult was it for you that your DH allowed it? I cannot imagine my DH not wanting a solid visitation in place.

    advice.only2's picture

    Honestly for me it wasn't difficult at all, Spawn and I never really got along well because Meth Mouth and DH would not allow it, so her leaving just took the pressure off of acting like we liked one another EOW.

    I love my DH and he's a good man, but one of his biggest flaws is he is very lazy when it comes to certain aspects of his life. He would have done something about the visitation if I had been poking and prodding at him to do it, but without somebody else doing the groundwork he won't lift a finger.

    When we got custody of Spawn I was the one out calling lawyers, setting up appts. doing all the leg work and after that DH was fine taking over, it's that inital push he doesn't want to do.

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    one of his biggest flaws is he is very lazy when it comes to certain aspects

    That flaw is exactly what jolted my DH out of Disney Dadhood. When I disengaged, HE had to pick up the slack and that interferred with his "down time". Goodbyd DDi, hello DH who expected the skids to do the dirty work!

    LuluOnce's picture

    I'm a #4. 

    DH and BM divorced when YSD was still an infant. BM had relapsed after a relatively long period of stable mental health, and she refused to get treatment. DH filed for divorce and sole custody. They had since moved back to 50/50 custody when I met him, but I knew #4 was on the table from the get-go and it was more a matter of "when" not "if". I do think it made it "better" that both skids were so young when DH and I started dating and living together.

    The first time the skids came to live with us full time, they were nearly 3 and 7. I think their young ages combined with the complete absence of BM (and her terrible method of parenting and influence on the skids) made it easier to set age appropriate rules and expect them to be followed. DH was also very responsive to my suggestions about using the time away from BM to correct some of the less-desirable behaviors the skids had developed from so much time with her brand of lazy-crazy, so I didn't have any of the issues a lot of SMs have on here, with a husband who won't enforce rules or give the SM any authority. DH wasn't perfect by any means (nor was I!) but mostly we worked together and didn't undermine each other or teach the skids they could play us against each other or put a wedge between us. 

    I think it helped set the tone for all of the subsequent "bounce backs" the skids have done since. This most recent time, OSD was 12 and YSD was 7ish (or close to it) and both kids kind of knew the drill. Our house has been the consistent house. Whether they live here half time or full time, it's the same rules and the same schedule. Always.

    But I can't imagine if I would have to have them full time for the first time starting NOW, with OSDstb14! Teenagers are sooo hard and are much more difficult in their rebellion than a tantrum throwing toddler. If we had to establish all the house rules now, for the first time? I think it would be much more unpleasant for all of us.

     

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    Teenagers can be the absolute pits - from ALL walks of life!

    It sounds like you and your DH were able to give the skids some much-needed stability as a basis for the future chaos.

    strugglingSM's picture

    I was a solid 4...DH and I even moved closer to Skids, because he wanted to angle for more time. Now, however, I'm a fim 1. SSs are teens now and have been completed unparented - and yes that includes DH who on occasion tries to parent, but is not good with follow-up and is now honestly scared that if he parents, SSs will never come around. DH will even admit that they are entitled, have zero resilience, and no "drive" as he likes to call it. I'm not interested in trying to parent teens who have not been taught how to behave as humans. I can't fix what their mother has not done and I won't be stuck with adults who fail to launch because they didn't come to me until they were very close to launching. 

    I also now refuse to give BM even more reason to contact us. She has proven that she cannot be reasonable about anything. It's impossible to "co-parent" with someone who is not reasonable. Right now, DH is completely marginalized because she has custody. If we had custody, she would be a big thorn in our side, including constant crying that we needed to include her in every decision (since she continues to try to dictate what DH does on his four days a month with SKids). I'm not interested in getting involved in that. 

    If BM died or was sent to jail, of course, I'd take them in, but really those would be the only circumstances at this point. 

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    Struggling, I moved 30 minutes away from my old house to be with my DH (we're about 20 minutes from 'Ho). When my DH was going through his Disney Dad phase, he did not have good boundaries with the skids OR 'Ho. It was awful and I did not know if our marriage would survive. I honestly believe that good boundaries and stability in the home make big differences for most kids.

    strugglingSM's picture

    DH has definitely gotten better at boundaries with BM. When I met him, he was always jumping up to do whatever she demanded. Now, they have minimal contact and rarely deviate from their plan. 

    He need to develop better boundaries with MIL. So far, his boundary strategy with her is avoidance, but if she does get his attention, his first response is still to go along with what she wants. 

    He is not good at setting expectations or boundaries with SKids. I've encouraged him to see a parenting coach, but he thinks he doesn't need to, so he hasn't. I now tell him what I expect of him and hold him accountable if it doesn't happen. 

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    We're fortunate in that MIL doesn't even know DH's phone number. She's actually a sweet, simple lady (not too smart) who is baffled by the trainwreck that is her daughter.

    strugglingSM's picture

    In my case, MIL is DH's mother, not BM's mother. 

    His mother has never seen a boundary she doesn't want to trample...which means DH grew up not realizing what boundaries were. 

    MIL has been known to meddle on BM's behalf, which has caused a lot of strife for DH and I. I hold her at arms' length. On the one hand, DH is upset that I don't get along better with his mother. On the other hand, he knows how she is, she he understands. In my view, she's been pretty terrible to him in the name of "supporting her grandchildren", so DH is now sort of distancing himself from her as well, although he feels guilty about that. 

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    Ish. How annoying. My DH has a tentative relationship with his mother. In 10 years, I've seen her half a dozen times. She has seen the skids maybe 5 times in the last 10 years. DH sees her once a year and feels that's more than enough.

    HowLongIsForever's picture

    Your MIL and my MIL are cut from the same disappointing cloth.  Solidarity, SSM *drinks*

    HowLongIsForever's picture

    I like to project as a 1.  If things were to go down today in the here and now, truly I am a 4 with qualifiers.

    Out of necessity or true best interest? They are always welcome - as minors.  Respectful, well parented, acclimate to (rather than rail against) the household minors.  

    If we are talking some phony indignant self righteousness being the driving force behind such a change... and SO not only entertained but allowed it?  I'd be at 2 though likely just in denial about really being at 3. 

    The issue there wouldn't so much be full time skids as it would be SO abdicating the responsibilities of his role not only as their parent but my partner.  Realistically I know I couldn't handle a deluded pushover.  So if he were to embrace capitulating to such nonsense, steam rolling me in the process, I'd lose all respect for him.

     

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    I hear you, HLIF. I could not have respect for my DH if he was one to throw me under the bus, time after time. I'm very thankful that, when the Disney Dad died, any shenanigans slowly, but surely, came to an end. In our house, anyways.

    thinkthrice's picture

    my skids were so horrible it defies the laws of nature.  of course the parents should have been sterilized at birth.

    LuluOnce's picture

    Your skids frighten me in story alone. I cannot imagine what it would've been like to live with ONE of them, let alone all of them. (I think there are three total, right? Thus the name? LOL.)

    thinkthrice's picture

    i have never seen such monsters in all my life.  of course the Gir and Chef let them run feral.

    And get this...they were ALL PLANNED which makes it that much more inexcusable!!!

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    The Houseshitter (TM)...

    Every time I read that, I snicker. SO thankful I never dealt with that crap!!! (pun intended!

    tog redux's picture

    I was a #4 - there was a time when SS20 wanted to live with us, around age 14, and DH tried to get custody, only for SS to lie yet again on BM's behalf and end up completely alienated. But he stayed with us for most of a summer.

    Now, I don't know. I'd be okay with him living there IF - we added more room to our house (it's only about 1200 square feet and SS is a freaking linebacker) AND, he had a full-time job or full-time school.  As he is now, in his Failure to Launch mode, no thanks. 

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    Tog, that Failure To Launch Mode is a whole 'nother animal! Getting worse by leaps and bounds, IMO.

    Trying to Stepmom's picture

    With the way BM is, DH and I wondered when she would implode and we would have SD full time. So I have been preparing myself since the beginning. 

     There was a huge chance this was going to become reality because of SD's school choice for next year, but I don't think it's going to happen now. Long story; I might blog it later. 

    WalkOnBy's picture

    I am sure you remember all my experience with this, Aniki :-)  As do some of the longer time posters around here - both from my WOB days and my Former days...

    I was always a solid #4 - I always knew that anything could happen and DH could end up with the skids full time.  And, as everyone knows, he did.  Full time and I mean full effing time, as Medusa had ZERO parenting time.

    What I wasn't prepared for was the stress and strain it would put on my marriage (and my life, in general).  In the end, all worked out fine, and ASS will NEVER be allowed in my home.  For any amount of time.  At all. 

    *Taylor Swift font* - like never ever ever 

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    Okay, I'm at a loss. WHAT is Taylor Swift font???

    WOB, it always baffles me that SPs fail to realize that the CP could become mentally/physically incapacited or pass away, leaving the NCP - their partner - the new CP. 

    WalkOnBy's picture

    There is a Taylor Swift song with the lyric "we are never ever ever getting back together" and when she sings that part, it's in the typical teenage whiny vocal fry Smile

    ndc's picture

    My DH is a 50/50 parent, not NCP, so my situation is different, but I'm #4.  

    Financially, there's not much difference - we already have to have a big enough house for them, they already have full wardrobes, toys, games, bikes and "stuff" at our house, so we're talking some extra food and a bit of electricity. I'm familiar with the skids, they're already used to our house and our routines. I'd miss my non-skid days, but it wouldn't be the end of the world.

    I can't imagine being the non-CP household and getting skids suddenly.  No matter how good the skids and the DH, that'd be a rough transition. 

    stepgirlfriendfurmom's picture

    I don't think you should ever move in or marry someone who has children unless you are a #4... UNLESS due to allegations or happenings in your home, etc. that has changed you from a #4 to another number on the chart.

    I feel like it is selfish and unrealistic for someone to be with someone who has a child or children and not be accepting of, be against, or not expect the possibility of the child/children moving in with your partner and them become the CP. To go into a relationship saying #4 is not and never will be an option is not fair to the children or your SO.

    Personally, I feel bad for my friend's husband who has a GREAT case of becoming the CP because of BM's actions, etc. but my friend (his wife) said she does not want that right now because she just got a new job... kind of upset me a little because I would never of began a relationship with my bf if I was going to ever tell him not to become the CP especially when the room is available, the children are young, etc. all the things others have listed above.

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    I feel the same way. Too often I see/hear that SPs are jealous of the NCP's time with the skids. Especially if they are excluded. Huh??? But... the NCP did not sign up to be a PT parent. Instead of seeing their kids most every day, they see their kids EOWe. You, OTH, are married to/in a committed relationship with the NCP, talk to them regularly, spend time with them, etc. The NCP is trying to squeeze 14 days of being a parent into 2 days. 

    Pssst.... I did not mean YOU as 'you, OTH'.

    Kiwi_koala's picture

    Nope. Number 1..  not moving in. I would never go into a situation looking to date a man who had full custody of his children due to the mother no longer being alive or mentally incapable of caring for the child. IF and that's a big IF, the mother was a good mother who raised well behaved children and she became extremely ill and died or a tragedy of some sort happened  after we married then I would understanding of  the children needing to move in. I still wouldn't parent the children due to the difficulties that may pose for the children and myself as a result of the grief so the SO would need to get a nanny to help out. 

    Now, if the children need to move in because the mother is a terrible human being who A) can't deal with them or Dirol is spiteful we got married so gives up the kids or C) the children want to live with dad then I would leave and get divorced. Case A means I'm dealing with an idiot who can't parent. Case B would cause way too much drama. The kids will have abandon issues and etc and Case C I would be seeing the kids more than my boyfriend because he works a lot so absolutely freaking not. 

    Before anyone adds..what about in the case of the kids being abused ? I'm not marrying anyone who was stupid enough to reproduce with a subpar person. That is bad for me to be involved with so I am always looking for clues of that.

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    KK, that's well thought out. 

    What about those who didn't see the Crazy in Subpar come out until AFTER they were married?

    Kiwi_koala's picture

    That is very sad. I really feel their pain then. Unfortunately they have would have to weigh the pros and cons of whether to leave or remain married. I certainly wouldn't blame them for leaving.

    If the mother is truly crazy there is a decent chance the child will be crazy. They might have been crazy even if they were given up for adoption. My boyfriend's sister was given up for adoption and they recently met her four years ago and she and my boyfriend's mother definitely have similarities in personality and she was obviously never raised by her. Genes can be very strong. I personally wouldn't take any chances.

    The husband would need to basically be as close to perfect as possible for me to see this situation as workable. He needs to be a team player, kind, empathetic, patient, responsible, strong, good communicator, hard working, present, and an overall effective person. Basically he has to be a unicorn.

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    Not all are psychologically crazy. While BioHo is a narc, alcohol can bring out the worst in people. Drugs, too.

    Lndsy747's picture

    When I started dating SO I was #3. I always planned to never date anyone who had kids and when we started our relationship his daughter lived all the way across the country. Two months into him moving in with me BM did the unimaginable and decided to move to our state.

    I would say from about a year into our relationship I changed to #4 and have remained at that stance for 10 years until she PAS'd out again. We had actually had conversations about her moving in the week that she decided to go to back to BM's and cut us off again.

    Now I'm #1 and since she's 17 almost 18 I will stay strong if she ever comes back around and chooses to speak to us again.

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    That PAS stuff. It sucked being on the end of step-PASing. I cannot imagine what it's like for a bio parent to deal with that hearbreak. Sad

    TwelveLongYrs79's picture

    I was always #4. And it became a reality about 8 years ago.

    My mother (who is right much more than I’d like to admit lol) said to me after Skankula cut off DH again for the 3rd time out of SDramas life: “ you just wait...Skankula will screw up and you’ll end up getting SDrama as a teenager...”

    Doggonit if she wasn’t right-although it was definitely against both of their wills (EC)she moved in with us at 11 years old...and then all h3ll broke lose. She turned out much better than we think she would have, had she stayed with Skankula...she definitely wouldn’t have finished HS. 

    Now we are just landlords and she barely speaks to us. After everything we have all given her and  sacrificed. I’ve disengaged, but it’s going to come to a head soon bc I cannot continue to live this way. Either I’m leaving or she is. 

    ntm's picture

    Except that he would have had to move out since it's my house. I actually stopped YSD visitation in my house when she was 17.5. Told him he could spend those weekends with his parents, I was done with being disrespected by someone who was getting her lines via text from BM. 

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    Being disrepected in your own home is such a crock!

    How about those whose skids doing that behind the bio parent's back and the bio sides with the skids? SO thankful that when Shite Happened, that my DH never questioned what I said.

    ntm's picture

    Happened to me all the time. "I wasn't there so I don't know what happened." Infuriating. Get out of the fecking basement and fecking parent your fecking kids! 

    BethAnne's picture

    #4:

    SD did live with us 100% of the academic year for a couple of years. It was stressful and the summers without her around were great but it was not too bad overall. As she is getting older, it should be less stressful as she is getting more independent and my husband and I should be able to go out and leave her at home for a few hours and hopefully she will need less supervision in general. She is though about to hit teens years and the moodiness has already started to strike on occasion so that will be tricky to navigate. 

    I am committed to my husband and I am committed to my husband being the best dad he can be so I will support him if sd comes to live with us again. 

    There propably are theoretical future senarios that could lead me to want to move out, but hopefully they won't happen.

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    Like you, I'm committed to my husband and to him being the best dad he can be. I'm very thankful the teen years are winding up! After some rocky years with SS17 (then known as PigPen) he has actually turned into a well-mannered, level-headed, pleasant young man. And CLEAN! 

    Fingers crossed those teen years are not too terrible.

    WarMachine13's picture

    Solid 4. I'm one of those that believes if you date or marry someone with kids there's always a chance they'll live there fulltime. 

    Aniki-Moderator's picture

    And yours do! I'm guessing that butt of a father hasn't been around lately. 

    WarMachine13's picture

    Nope

    Loki's picture

    No 1 - There is no way on this earth I would live with saurons spawn.

    If DH wants to live with his kids he can move out. *diablo*