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Ann's picture

Submitted by Ann on Thu, 06/22/2006 - 6:44pm

Iam so thankful I found this site, I can finally relases my feelings to someone. It is very hard being the Step mom. The mom, that looks after the son and does it all. I have so much anger and hurt inside. I am the mom who takes care of all and gets the bad behavior from my stepson. I don’t like calling him that because in my heart he is mine. I have been the acting mom now for 11 years. Now all of a sudden the bm wants to spend more time with him and plays mind games with him. I have a really hard time

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happy mom's picture

Submitted by happy mom on Thu, 06/22/2006 - 6:52pm

Look at our past blogs on some issues that were raised. You can click on "Forums" on the left top side of the screen. Scroll through them, you might find some good advice for the topics you have question on. I think we pretty much disgussed a lot of the problems we face as stepparents. If you can't find answers, post your blog. WELCOME!

Sherrylyn's picture

Submitted by Sherrylyn on Thu, 06/22/2006 - 7:41pm

I have a very close relationship with both my SS's, & I know what you mean about not wanting to call him your stepson. I may not always be high on their list now & again because I make them face up to every responsibility.

As a matter of fact my SS17 is having supper with biomom tonight, but it doesn't bother me because I've always wanted them to keep in contact with her. I don't want them left with regrets.

Ann's picture

Submitted by Ann on Thu, 06/22/2006 - 9:07pm

Thank you for the reply. I also want my ss15 to spend time with his biomom, I feel the same way about regrets. I just get so hurt when he acts like she is the best and does nothing. I guess I will always feel that no matter what.

Kato's picture

Submitted by Kato on Fri, 06/23/2006 - 9:46pm

You are not alone. I have only been a step mum to my kids for 9 months now and yet I feel I have given the children more love and care than their biomum has in their whole life with her. I understand she is their mum and they will always love her but it's hard to deal with when you see the neglect and shocking job she has done mothering them!
I have been keeping a lot of the anger in - but you know what? it just makes me feel even worse! So my new motto - in case you haven't read my ramblings elsewhere on this site is that you will be a much happier & more sane person if you try and let it go and just do your best and continue to love and support your son - then he will only ever have respect and love for you which is what you want!