i had a sf as a child, and when i was little, i hated him. he was abusive and went out of his way to make us miserable. when i was around 17 and had been out of the house for over a year, he sat me down and cried and told me he wouldn't blame me if i hated him and apologized for being in his words "an asshole" to me all those years. that was all it took for me to forgive him. a heartfelt apology. i only blame my mom now. it was her job to protect us and she didn't do it. he is the only one who ever admitted to doing wrong. she is incapable of admitting she screwed us over. and an apology is unthinkable.

I've had a stepfather for almost 25 years.

"Do you think it i easier to be a sp if one has been a sk"

I think it taught me what NOT to do. For the most part, we have always gotten along, although it was not always a picnic. My dad and his wife have been married almost 28 years and she long ago apologized for the things she said and did in the past.

My parents were married when they were 17 and 18 because they I came along. After giving birth to my brother my parents were divorced when I was two. My mom re-married my stepdad. I don't remember a lot from being really young but I know that my parents both PAS'd me at times but not as bad as my SD's are. I guess there were times my dad blamed my Step dad for things and my mom for things as well. My mom was divorced from my dad after my sister died when I was two. I was very close to my dad since I was two when they were married. She told me things about my step dad that a child shouldn't hear either. How he cheated and this and that. My step dad never treated me like a stepdaughter though. Even after they were divorced I still went to see my step dad when my half brother went, if i was not to be with my biodad. My step dad has always said I was "his daugher" when introducing me to people or when talking about me.

There was ONE time I told my SF "your not my dad" let me say it was the last time. My step dad has always been there for me. It's hard with my bio dad because he holds everything in the past in and is angry about many things in his life. We are also very much a like in our ways of communicating or lack of.

My dad had a long time girlfriend for 10-15 years and I considered her my step-mom. I was a Normal teen and got along with her for the most part though. I never resented her for anything but all she ever did was show me love and treat me as her own. She also didn't have any girls so I was the only girl.

My dad re-married only to get divorced. That lady was crazy though. I didn't really like her but I was not mean or rude toward her. I never really saw much of her either.

My dad is with someone else right now and I have always treated her with respect. I find it easier to talk to her about my issues with my dad at times except for the fact that I do feel like she always sides with him. It is a way for me to get my feelings to him with out talking to him. She hasn't been around long enough though to know the issues my dad's whole family has with issues in the past and holding grudges.

My mom has been with the same man for 15 years, not married and I will always love him and treat him with respect but he has done the same for me. Not that it has always been great but it's the typical relationship with a parent.

I find it easier to be a step since i was a step. I also think my expectations are different because for the most part of my life my parents and step parents got along. It is weird when you say it out loud but my mom is still close to my dad's family. He might not like it but my Aunt was always my mom's best friend even before they were married and has remained friends. they also lost children of the same age around the same time and went though a lot of the same things.

It is hard for me to be a step in that I don't understand why people can't just get along for the kids. Why people are hurting children. Why people are saying hurtful things infront of kids. Why people put kids in the middle of adult situations. There were things I never needed to know that I did growing up. My mom said she made many mistakes and sometimes did not put us first and regrets it now. She knows what she did wrong and is sorry for it. It didn't really leave a much of a mark on the relationships with others (although my bio dad blames my mom for our Lack of a relationship, but I blame him because my mom has always encouraged a relationship with my dad)

I know many people on this site are struggling with connecting with stepkids and dealing with anger stepkids may have. I don't know your situation but I always have had the thought of children come first and they don't need to become adults before they are old enough. I had my child hood robbed from me with being the oldest and my mom being a single mom and working all the time i cared for my brothers and raised them a lot. Now my mom is struggeling with my youngest brother 21 and him treating her with disrespect all the time. I tell her she needs to cut the chord and let him figure it out. She always bails him out and he has never had to struggle and figure it out on his own. Now when anything "bad" happens he doesn't have the coping abilities to deal with things and he thinks the world is going to end. He has been in some bad places before.

Bottom line is I loved my step parents if nothing else I have always respected them but my parents would allow for nothing less and I recieved respect from my step parents as well. They tried really hard to find out what I needed or wanted from the relationship with them and were there for me even when I thought I didn't want them to be.

I am a sk. My dad remarried when I was 8. My smom was/is a great smom. I'm ashamed to say though that when I was a teenager I gave her attitudes but once I became an adult, I apologized for my stupid childish behaviors. We get along great now and since becoming a SM myself, I've had new found respect for my smom.

I was a skid my whole life, with two different step-dads. One from toddlerhood to about third grade, the next fourth grade to adulthood. I loved them both. My second step-dad is the one of think of as Dad