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I Can't Believe It - A Place for Steps to be Heard!

BabyKat's picture

Submitted by BabyKat on Mon, 02/28/2011 - 7:25pm

Oh, this is so lovely. After all these years - a place for me! How many years have I felt like the unwanted, unheard stepmommy, holding my tongue and biting my lip, seething quietly like a good girl on the sidelines ? And now here you are - good, upstanding angry people just like me! Yay!!! Smile

About me:
I'm married to an outstanding human being who is a good dad and loves his kids and me. And yes, he's paid his child support by the book since day one.
I went through my own divorce years ago and can't believe how mean and money-grubbing people can be. I just wanted him out of my life - I didn't think I needed to take every penny he ever earned just because he was a complete jack*ss!
My hubby's ex is nicknamed BF for B*tchFace. That probably won't work on here since BF already stands for biological father or boy friend. But, it was fun to tell you anyway! }:)
Hubby's ex got pregnant without consulting him when the marriage was already headed down the tubes. It didn't save her marriage, but it upped her child support opportunity substantially! Bottom line - I've known my SD since she was 4 (now 15) and my SS since he was about 6 months old (now 11).
Being a stepmom is HARD! Being married to someone with an ex is HARD! If only old B*tchFace would spontaneously combust. I don't think it'd be so hard then, do you?
Thanks for listening. Looking forward to returning! Yay!

Comments

cenrok's picture

Submitted by cenrok on Mon, 02/28/2011 - 8:03pm

Welcome... I just found this place last week. This site is wonderful. It certainly has helped me to understand that I am not a whicked witch, selfish or alone in feeling how I feel about many of these issues.

BabyKat's picture

Submitted by BabyKat on Wed, 03/02/2011 - 12:53pm

Oh, I can just see myself on here after knocking back several drinks. You'd all get more than an earful, I'm sure! Too funny!

BabyKat's picture

Submitted by BabyKat on Wed, 03/02/2011 - 1:00pm

Thanks! And yes, the biotch drives me nuts. The latest? She held a couple checks (for that lovely "extraordinary medical") I sent in December and just cashed them yesterday. Is this a new game? Is she actually hoping her little $53 is going to throw our bank account into the red or something? Speaking of which, how do all you ladies pay extraordinary expenses to the BMs? Do you go through MiSDU or just send the pathetic little turd a check?

JustAnotherSM's picture

Submitted by JustAnotherSM on Wed, 03/02/2011 - 1:20pm

We paid our half of any medical expenses directly to the provider. Even if BM already paid and she wanted her half in cash, we still paid the doctors directly and she would have to wait for reimbursement.

BabyKat's picture

Submitted by BabyKat on Wed, 03/02/2011 - 1:48pm

Aw your name - JustAnotherSM - that's kinda sad. I bet you are actually a wonderful and unique person. After reading several of these responses, I've realized how much I've let the step situation beat me down. I AM a good person and I don't deserve to feel like crap because bitchface wants to turn the kids against me! That felt good. ANYWAY, what do you do, pay from the EOBs? We have been waiting till we get her reimbursement request with copies of the actual medical bills. ????

BabyKat's picture

Submitted by BabyKat on Wed, 03/02/2011 - 1:14pm

No, I'm gonna say it's completely possible to keep right on filling your birth control prescription and look someone in the eye and say, "Yeah, you're right. We should wait till we're in a better place to talk about having another baby." Yep, he's guilty of doing her - that much I'll accept. Apparently, he would have been better off cheating on her until he finally decided to leave her. At least then he would have felt inclined to use protection. I know the guy though - he was having a hard time making the decision, didn't want to leave his 4 yr old daughter, that kind of thing. So, maybe he was dumb, but what she did was so very low!

BabyKat's picture

Submitted by BabyKat on Wed, 03/02/2011 - 1:23pm

Thanks! And I love your quote. It is SO true. I hadn't thought about it until I read your stuff, but years of being the step opposite a BM who's worked so hard to make the kids think dad and I are irresponsible, incompetent, might kidnap them, etc., etc., ad infinitum, has really had a negative effect on me. Like a thousand little wounds!

BabyKat's picture

Submitted by BabyKat on Wed, 03/02/2011 - 1:36pm

Gollum! Love it! Our dear bitchface has known for a year that her place of employment will close this spring. How many resumes do you think she's sent out? How fast do you think we'll get hauled into court to increase her support? This is what kills me: I can't imagine purposely setting out to do as little as possible with my life and career, so I could sit on my ass and live off others! My hubby has worked hard to build his career and income in the 10 years since they split, and what does he get for it? He gets to pay out the wazoo so she can work at the same part-time job she's had all along! That's the power of FOC. Why should she do anything with her life when she's got her own private welfare system - my hubby's wallet!!!