Petty time
Overall w/all the BIG issues we normally deal with the 'small things' I kind of dismiss. In the scheme of life comparing our miscarriage to stupid things seems dumb-but sometimes I want to bitch about the little things.
My SO. So he's the one that stays home w/my teens and the dog-soon to be 2nd one. He does pick up seasonal/part-time work off/on however it works for our schedules. I'm fine w/that as financially I'm the main bread winner. I rather have someone at home managing things to be hones-it works for our family.
Anyways-lately he's been pupsitting SD's boyfriends dog almost every day! His 'excuse' is well I"m trying to get ready for adjusting to two pups anyways.
Ok, I get it a) The pit pup and our dog play great and it helps wear out our pup b) you can't say no to SD-even though it's technically not even her damn dog
The problem I have:
* after about 2 hours she starts getting nippy-overtired and we end up having to put her in a kennel to let them decompress
*they don't bring food/treats and DH is OBSESSED with feeding people/animals to show love I guess-or practice his training skills-so he uses MY PAID FOR DAMN EXPENSIVE FOOD on this dog even I tell him not to- PLUS their dog has some food agression-he's trying to train it out of her but really? Let them train her-and dont' use my damn food- that dog could eat a horse-she's 1/4 our dogs size and eats at least twice what he does
*the pupsitting started w/once every week or two during the time she had a game.....now it's for everythign 'going out to eat, going to a party, taking granny to the store'-
*they will often show up and drop her off w/out calling him before hand (or me) to ASK if we can. Remember the time they brought her over IN HEAT??
*they will say they are gone 1-2 hours and it will be 5-6hrs before they return-always w/some fantabulous excuse (last nights was his grandpa fell and was at hospital)
*our yard is a cluster F of mud-we're about to plant some more grass because I cannot handle the dirt dragged in anymore- so having her daily or almost every day keeps my floors constantly a muddy mess- and I am the only one that cleans them adn they are tearing it up having fun-which I honestly DO love to see them play but ....
*we have a LOT to prepare for before pup gets here-organize the garage, the yard, we need to be focusing on that-seriously the next 2-3 weeks we need to be something almost daily to get prepped up/cleaned up. We have a shed to remove, we have gravel to bring in
* he keeps saying he doesn't mind-and he needs to get used to 2- that's BS-he can't say NO. We will adjust just fine with OUR puppy and our dog- she won't come w/bad habits to 'untrain' - Last night he went to bed at 9pm- SD didn't pick dog up to close till 11-she was in the kennel- and when I took her out when SD came by she pissed all over the floor (which I made sd clean lol)
* I LOATHE having arguments with SO regarding other peoples problems- that is NOT EVEN SD's DOG! (remember the fiasco w/her other dog I had to re-home she dumped on us)- It's her 20yr old boyfriends effin dog!!!!
*I do not want to say no never- I like the damn thing-she's cute, and spunky and makes our pup happy- I like how they play (for a while) - our pup loves having 'friends' - but don't abuse the offer! I told him whatever you get them used to will become the norm and THEN they will press for more just like selfish teens do-it's their nature.
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I LOVE dogs, I mean I even
I LOVE dogs, I mean I even feed the neighbor's malnourished dog some days (he's almost a good weight and has a gloss to his coat finally!)... But this would super piss me off too. That dog is destroying the floors, trakcing mud in, bringing bad habbits, and what happens when your new pup gets there? He just going to watch 3 dogs? If the visiting dog is destracting from what needs to happen in the home, and your SD's boyfriend is never taking care of it then 1) the dog shouldn't be over so much, or sad as it is to say, maybe the bf needs to think about finding the dog a home where it won't be ditched with you all day while they come up with BS exucses, or he may need to look for doggy daycare options.
I get dog owners have busy schedules too, but it really sounds like your DH is being taken advantage of...
If he can't say no to her
If he can't say no to her about the dog, just wait until it's grandkids. Yikes!
In my experience, if a dog is
In my experience, if a dog is eating like that it usually means it isn't getting fed regularly at home. I rescued a dog years ago that someone just threw out at the park and for the first couple weeks it would eat constantly and would get really agressive with it's food. After he figured out he was going to keep getting fed, his entire attitude changed and he didn't eat as much.
YES- she did have it because
YES- she did have it because she was 9 months when she came to them and the previous owners under fed her really bad- so it's work in progress. She's been bounced 2-3 times before SD's boyfriend took her. She looks good now-she gets fed 2 x day but the 'habits' are there-they are slowly getting better though.
wildstang, I suggest you take
wildstang, I suggest you take a step back. THOUSANDS of couples chose to have one party at home. The 'teens' have had different schools and schedules. He has provided transportation to them. We have one teen (oldest) who is quite problematic. I do NOT trust him at my home alone, period. His dad won't take him in, so what do you suggest?
The oldest now had transportation and is less of an issue and is gone half of the time. The youngest is doing online work now so less of an issue-but he still needs to go to school once a week. SO stays busy- He just fixed our plumbing leak outdoors-took 2 days as there were 2 leaks. He does cook, he does clean, he does exercise the dog on trails everyday (pre pupsitting days and pre-braking his foot) Yes, a part-time or seasonal works for our lives. I"m not quite sure what you're implying. If we hadn't miscarried he would be the sahd also.....it's our choice.
Do we tell men the same things we tell women when their wives stay at home? There are plenty of stay at home wives and stay at home moms of ALL ages?
THere are certain things he cleans and others I do. He does our bathroom/laundry- I do the dogs blankets/our bedding. He vaccums- I mop. We alternate kitchen/dishes depending on who cooks-often we both cook. We both bathe the dog-he does nails. He handles all outdoor related, landscaping, leaves, gutters/ Is there an imbalance? Sometimes I feel so, other times I feel it's more then fair. Has he made choices in his life that put him in the position to be paid less then me? Sure and I accept those 'flaws'.
We've discussed it- for OUR household part-time works. Which hasn't been the case in 6months- and I'm back to pressing the issue now that the broken foot is on the mend. I'd prefer him to find part-time in evenings when I'm home but we'll take what opens as we usually do. My job is desk related- so I don't come home physically exhausted so no reason I can't get some movement going when back at home?
Fyi warning- I"ve been
Fyi warning- I"ve been through enough lately to endure your nastiness.
It sounds like Wildstang
It sounds like Wildstang thinks you are being taken advantage of. I don't know your situation, but a man that has to be ASKED to go back to work after 6 months because he broke his foot is not a man I would ever marry. Ever. If living together for 9 years and you bringing home the bacon and being on him to pick up seasonal / part time work is what works for you, then more power to you. But I feel like people don't value themselves enough to say, "I deserve better than this."
Sometimes people being taken advantage of in a relationship can't see it. If you aren't being taken advantage of, and are willingly taking care of a grown man, then that is your choice. Most people who are stay at home moms (or dads) are staying home with their own children, and young children at that. Having a grown man stay home with TEENAGERS seems crazy. And the fact that you raised a teenager you wouldn't leave home by himself, during the day, is crazier. Most kids don't get out of school until 3-4 every day and most of us are done working by 5-5:30. You have a teenager who can't stay home by himself for 1 1/2 hours?
What will your SO do when the teenagers are out of the house? Will he still stay home and take care of the dogs? I find it all very peculiar and, no matter what a pre-nup says, if a man stays home and raises your children and then you divorce, the courts may award him alimony to compensate him for his time in the home. It is an equity thing.
I guess if you know what you are doing and you aren't behaving the way you are behaving because you have been in abusive relationships and don't know any better, then it doesn't matter what any of us think of your arrangement.
I doubt that is what she
I doubt that is what she thinks. She's projecting her own marriage demise and issues. I've asked her to stop, she can't help herself. I'll just keep flagging or deleting if she can't respect my request.
My kids are not in regular school- they were going to different graduate programs-different locations, different hours. The oldest son has some issues we are working with- so he would have been on his own for way too many hours....not happening at the moment. Idle hands. I don't feel taken advantage of- he fulfills roles and duties I can't get to w/my fulltime hours.
Wildstang-don't reply to my
Wildstang-don't reply to my posts anymore ok? You're not worth a second of my time.