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When will they grow out of coming over??!?!?!?!!?

baseballgirly's picture

Submitted by baseballgirly on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 3:30am

Is there an age I should be looking forward to when the boys won't want to make the hour drive each way to come and see their dad every second weekend?? Will they grow out of wanting to come for sleepovers to share a room here when all the comforts of their primary home and friends are an hour away???

I'm just searching for a means to an end. Love CL.... don't want to break up with him, just his kids.

Comments

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 5:28am

I think you may be grasping at straws here, though understandably. I think that when planning your future you have to assume that the arrangement will continue until the boys are at least in their mid teens and possibly older. My SDs are currently 16 and 14 and show no signs of wanting to discontinue the EOW arrangement, much as I would like to. Your SO almost certainly loves them dearly and would be devastated if they stopped coming.
If your love of him outweighs your dislike of the boys visits, I think just grit your teeth and have a bottle or two of wine at the ready. The time to really panic is when you have the prospect of one of them moving in full-time, as I possibly have at present. Then it is really time to reconsider.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 8:03am

Same here. SD is 15. I don't see it happening. and yes BM's house and their friends/school is an hour away from us.

forever2's picture

Submitted by forever2 on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 8:16am

Why do think Disney daddy makes sure that he waits on them hand and foot, buys whatever they want, gives them extra money for nothing, has no discipline, no chores and nothing but fun fun fun 24/7? Oh wait, that's my skids dad, hopefully not yours. Daddy insures that skids will always want to see him be coddling and amusing them. Hey, would you stay at mom's house when she is a bitch, makes you work and treats you like a person rather than a saint? Or would you go to daddy's to be reminded that you walk on water? If I was the skid, I would go to daddy's too, collect some cash, get a few goumet meals, a couple of massages and a ride to my favorite video game store to get some loot at dad's expense. Skids biggest dilema at daddys with whether he wants to choose a movie, a professional football game, a trip to wherever to buy whatever, mini golf, regular golf, lasar tag, etc. Rough life. No. I certainly don't see skid turning that down anytime soon! In fact, I expect that when he is 35, all that stuff is still going to look pretty darn good.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 5:19pm

My ss is 13 and does not wish to come over. I think it is more a function of the fact that he dislikes me and my kiddos rather than having anything better to do-but I think he would be happy to never come over again except for xmas and bday of course.