I NEED ADVICE!!
Ok, so my SD18 finally tells her father that she is getting married on 23 December. He tells me and I pretend to be surprised. However, he also tells me that he wants me to go to the wedding, which will be held locally, not in the city where her BM resides. Remember, about a month and a half ago I told SD18 off and I got a nasty call from her BM telling me that I couldn't possibly love her and say those things. The truth hurts I guess. So, NOW WHAT DO I DO!?! I really do not want to go because it would appear hypocritical, but DH asked me to. Also, shouldn't I get at least some sort of invitation from SD? What would you do? :? :? :? :? :? :?
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I would not
go.....so what he asked you? It's not his wedding to invite people to, it's hers and if she doesn't invite you, I would stay away from that snake pit!
You should...
probably talk to SD18. It's her wedding so it would make sense to ask her.
You probably shouldn't call her up and ask straight up "Can I go to your wedding!?" That might seem a little hypocritical... you might want to just call her up and tell her congratulations... and explain that her father wants you to come... ask if it's okay.
I got married when I was 18, and my parents were furious. They disowned me and wanted nothing to do with me anymore... but despite all of that, I still wanted them to come to my wedding.
So even though you and SD18 had some problems in the past, maybe she still wants you to come?
18 and getting married in
18 and getting married in less than 3 weeks? What's the big rush??? Good lord, this sounds like an train wreck....
And as far as going, I'd wait until you personally get invited, unless of course there aren't actual invitations, which, with such a short turnaround, seems kind of likely...
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein
Fiance just finished Basic and AIT
so in order for her to be able to follow him to his first posting she would need to be his spouse, because she certainly does not have the resources to do it herself. One of the things I blasted her for was being a "love the one you are with" kind of gal. There is NO way I see her being an Army wife and staying faithful especially if he gets deployed. She is too young and immature, she will want to be having fun!
I believe this wedding to be a mistake of epic proportions so that is why I think it would be hypocritical for me to attend, invited or not, because it would seem as if I approve and I do not. She moved up near her BM because we didn't tell her what she wanted to hear and we objected to her non-plan for life. So, now THIS is her plan, to get married! Foolish!! She allowed her mother to speak for her when I read her the riot act, so I can't imagine she will have the fortitude or maturity to contact me herself. Hell, I think she even had her grandmother tell her father about the wedding. Little chickenshit!
I wouldn't go until I
I wouldn't go until I received a personal invitation from SD.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
I agree with VickM. Let him ask her
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
if he wants you there, as his wife, then he can ask his darlin about it.
Otherwise, if you just say, I'm not going-he'll probably blame you. If she says she doesn't want you thee, then it's an easy out for you. If she says, oh Daddy, it's ok. You can bring Beach. Then go. If it won't upset you too much. It's in 3 weeks-how long could it (the ceremony) actually last?
If I do go, I
think that I would just go for the ceremony and not stick around for any type of reception/party afterward.
Go if she invites you
Unless you husband says that she invited you specifically or she calls you and asks you to come I would skip this gig completely. I'm just at the point in my life if I don't feel comfortable doing something I just don't do it - and for anyone else either!
I'd rather have my toe nails pulled out...
I would avoid that get together like the plague!! I have been invited to several get togethers by "the others" (my current in laws)...I despise all of them and they don't like me either..So really it's more of an inviting "all of us" so they can see DH and "The Golden CHild"...In these situations I always leave it up for DH to go if he so chooses but myself and the kids do not. I see no reason, ever, to put myself in that kind of a situation...TO me thats like walking naked through a cannibal village at have past dinner time! No thanks!
In a perfect world their would be retroactive abortion capabilities. disgusted
I won't say if you should go
I won't say if you should go or not that's up to you. But if she's marrying a boy in the army she's in for a rough ride. It takes a special kind of person to be a military spouse. I went through many deployments and it never got easier. We lived overseas twice and moved all over this country. My youngest was born in Panama, that was harsh. There's nothing like living in a third world country to make you appreciate what you have. I guess this could be Karma finally biting her in the ass. Just think it might not be too long before she's wishing for indoor plumbing and regretting every bad thing she ever did to you. }:)
I think this is about supporting your H more than condoning the
marriage. Your H asked you to go most likely because he feels the same as you do about the wedding and would like to have your there for support and because you are his wife.
At least I hope that is his motivation.
I know that periodically I get asked to go to functions that I have no interest in by my wife but I go because she is my wife and she asked me to go. Sooooo, I go. She does the same for me when I ask her to attend a functions that she may not care for. We are both industry professionals and we work at different firms so these types of things happen fairly often.
Now I have to go shower and shave and get ready to go to a flower expo and this is not even a work function. She just wants to go and asked me to go with her. Shoot me now! :O
Good luck and best regards,
Rags you are an exceptional
Rags you are an exceptional man I hope your wife appreciates you. I think you deserve a Man Of The Year award. God bless you.