It occurs to me that I did not think this through, maybe I am not a good step parent, how did I think I could do this??????
I am having a dark day. my post have been all over the board, good, bad, scared, and today kinda depressed. LAst night, friday night, SD 15 saays she is staying at a friends house, so I make plans with my girl friends. we go out. DH goes to work at 6 (bar tender) I get a call at 7 from SD asking to borrow my "sparkle boots" they live in my closet and are a great haloween costume, I bought them to be a super hero last year, ( I am 29) she explain that her and her friend want to dress up and walk down town. We live in a small college town. I explain that no she c annot borrow them, she will look like a hooker. they are 3 inch platform knee high glitter boots!! no outfit with those is acceptable. she argues I maintain my position and she hangs upo on me. now I appreciate that she called to ask. that is great. I return to my friends and tell them i need to go home, somethi ng is fishy, why isn't she at her friends house?? so they all come back to my house with me. ( 4 girls) THe child is PISSED. I think I foiled some plan, not sure. her friend thatt was over left immedialty, and sd was no longer going to her friends house. things were off. She was so mad that I came home with friends, and this is where I am a bad person, we had been drinking, having a great girls night out, and continued our party at the house. our party was done by 11, we were 5 girls not that crazy, but wonder that I am not perhaps the best influence for an impressionble 15yo. I still live the life of a young person. I am a young person!!but at 15 my parents did not go to the bar with their friends, my parents did not have 5 20 something yolds over for cocktails. Children emmulate their parents, while I am not a "real" parent, I came to be when she was 13, I am a parental figure and I don't think she should be following my lead. I dropped out of college to be aa cook, I party with friends, hell my biggest responsabilty till lately has been my dog. And he is a lot!! most of my friends are just getting married. I feel so unprepared nd out of my league. Its like bsing your way into a legal job and never having been to law school, I am clueless!!!! sorry for the random bs. just pms and feeling overwhelmed by a teenager. Am I doing ok, what is wrong, how can I be better, am I f**king up? etc. etc.
such is life as a young step parent.
- beamer's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
You two are so close in age.
You two are so close in age. I am sure it is hard, she gets mad at you becuz you are more like a big sis than a SM (29 she is 15). IMO It is ok to have friends over, not ok to be drunk in front of her--though I don't think you said you were.
She is her fathers responsibility, where was he?
we ARE so close in age and
we ARE so close in age and that is definatly a challenge for me. It was not that long ago that I was doing the same things. going through the same problems. and one would think that would help the relationship, but it makes it worse, we both get pms and get pissed. It is hard for me not to be a child myself sometimes. My husband is a bar tender and works friday and saturday nights. This also is tough for us cause I am the weekend authority, the time when it is most needed. While she is his responsability, we are married and in the marriage I took on the resposability of helping to care for the child. I did not just marry the man, I married his daughter too.
So for this weekend I was so happy SD was having a sleep over at a friends house, I was stoked to have a friday night of my own. She does not often stay out at friends houses. of course it went wrong, I have learned my lesson, turns out I don't get a weekend. It is better that I stay home and be an adult, a parent when my husband is a work. I have tues and wed off anyways. I am sure I foiled her plans things were off, something was up, and she foiled my plans of girls party night. I am learning all the time.
don't feel bad!
Don't feel bad about spoiling her plans because it sounds like she actually ruined your plans. Yes...you and your girlfriends had a good time however us SM's need time alone and not have to worry or stress about HIS kids. Sounds like you did a good job with the situation...but just remember it's HIS kid so I hope you will give the responsibility to him so you can go out with your girls without any interuppstion.
I have decided that Tuesdays
I have decided that Tuesdays are MINE. I will police the weekends for SD's safety, but Tuesdays are mine. I have few good friends and i do not want to lose them b/c I am "a parent" and can never go any where or do anything. So here is to TUESDAYS!!