DH and I almost came to a  DIVORCE this past week because I straight up told him, that I don't want my SD kids in my house anymore. We don't want to get a divorce because of US, but it has been 6 long years dealing with their attitude and I have developed anxiety because of them.  It is emotionally exhausting and it is a sad way to live. I don't want them in my life anymore, I don't care about future relationships because I don't see myself as a step mother, just a responsible adult in their lives. We share our lives together but there is no actual LOVE between us. I don't LOVE them and they are my stepkids in title but not in feelings. I wonder what is the point of dedicating my time and energy to people, who once they go about their own life, wouldn't spend a second on me. 

DH wants to fight for custody because his children are in distress at the mother's house. She has had a nervous breakdown earlier this year citing that one of the major reason, is her inability to control their continous bad behavior. She is now on medication but it has caused her to check out. She plugs them in on their phone and tell them to go into their corners. She is a decent person on paper and I am sure on her own, but she is not the greatest parent. DH has been asking to separate the kids and she refuses him on every attempt. The kids constantly yell at each other how much they hate each other, tell each other they are ugly, worthless, useless, I wish you were dead etc. Kids reach out to her constantly asking for help, crying about how they feel. They are in drama, every waking moment.  He wants them to go to therapy but the kids are now refusing saying NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THEM. SS, 15 is a bully to his younger brother SS, 12. SD, 14 sleeps out every weekend at friends' homes to avoid being in her own home at her mother. Grades are in the dump this past year. Started sneaking out the house and the two older kids, SS, 15 and SD, 14 are extremely disrespectful to their parents. The boys are doing better academically. I worry for them, but I am not interested in bringing that into my home. If he goes to court, chances are it will be expensive and he will most likely lose. Mother is a good citizen, no drugs, no arrest, and  to top it off she is a teacher in good standing and kids have been with her their own life. Kids are emotionally in distress, there is no physical alteractions. As a result, it will hard for him to prove it's best that they uproot their life and come with him.  

 All the kids have low self esteem, confidence, abandonment issues. Not to mention, they are entitled and disrespectful. To my children and I, they are ok but within and among themselves and to their parents a complete trainwreck. SD, 14 started to turn her disrespectful behavior towards me and I spoke to her harshly after 5 weeks of ignoring me in my own home because I told her to make up her bed. I told her she is 100% not allowed to come to my home and make me feel uncomfortable.I am not some ragdoll she can treat however she wants. That whatever her reasons that led her to the misconception that she can treat me however she sees fit, let it be her first and last attempt at such behavior with me and she shouldn't confuse my lack of reaction as a sign to keep going further. I was giving her parents an opportunity to handle her attitude. If she can't respect, she can't come back. This is the first time in our lives, that  I have had to be like this. But I feel that it needs to be nipped in the bud. Allow this and it will only get worst. I don't care if the relationship is severed or whatever, I will not live my life up in arms for the next 4-5 years at best. 

Mother is completely incompetent at dgiving the kids boundaries. SD, 14 now tells her to her face, that if she doesn't get what she wants or go where she needs to due to lack of permission, she will sneak out. Guess what, she DID and mother's response: the very next day, she takes them on a long holiday weekend to six flags and oh yea, SD, 14 gets to keep her phone. Wonderful.

So now I feel that her nasty attitude will continue and I feel uncomfortable. I want to go and leave witih my children on their weekends and while that is an option, I feel pushed out of my own home. I feel unstable, I feel like I am in a dead end. He doesnt want me to leave, he wants us to deal with it as a family but I have young kids, I am tired and have given them enough. They are draining and not changing. I feel like screaming.