You are here

Not sure if I did the right thing…

BlueDiamond1986's picture

SD10’s mom facetimed her yesterday about her drama situation with her friends and her previous boyfriend she had (my opinion, a 10 year old shouldn’t have a boyfriend.). She was asking her what happened and giving her advice. DH (SD’s dad) gave her some advice too while she was on the phone with her mom. She was already throwing a fit with them about it. Her attitude is horrible. DH had to do something so they both got off the phone and SD went to her room. DH motioned me to go in her room and talk to her about the situation, but I froze. He said “talk to her, you’re a woman.” I said I think that is between you and her mom and that she already talked to her mom about it. I couldn’t think of what to say. I also felt like if I went in there she would push me away. A few minutes later, she was in her room talking to her mom again. I felt like if she had no way of contacting her mom then it would’ve been different, but she talks to her mom all the time. Did I do the right thing by not interfering? Or should I have went in her room? I just felt like it wasn’t my place. Thoughts? She’s only with us on weekends. 

Comments

la_dulce_vida's picture

You were SMART to stay out of it. If you had gone in and SD or the BM were offended by anything you said, you'd be made a villain or told to stop interfering........and I don't think your husband would defend you, would he?

RockyRoads's picture

You definitely did the right thing. I would never want to give my SKs any advice. But most of this is because of my SO. Your relationship might be totally different.

BlueDiamond1986's picture

We all get along (me, bm, her husband and dh) but he wanted me to go in her room and talk with her but I didn't feel comfortable and explained to him that it should only be between him and her mom and that if it was different to where she couldn't talk to her mom then yeah I may talk to her then. 

Harry's picture

Because in the end they will be right. You will be wrong, and everything becomes your fault.   You didn't asked for it but will get unloaded  apon .   Like they can do whatever they want but your reaction to what they did. Becomes the major problem 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

You did. And your DH was wrong to put you in that position. Lemme guess, he wants all the benefits of you being "like a mom", but when it comes down to it, BM gets the final say because "she is the MOTHER." And she is. Don't get sucked in. 

Rags's picture

Discretion, is the better part of valor. You did the right thing IMHO.  A reaction to his discomfort in the situattion and calling you to deal with it with his daughter was not a well considered request by your DH.

Generally, I don't care about an X and they an STF up and stay out of anything in a home or marriage they are not a part of. Kids or no kids.

But, in this case... you keeping a bit of distance was a wise move.  This is not interfering in your marriage, home, or family.  Until it does, and it just might, bide your time.

Take care of you.

Harry's picture

That with an ex,  this woman should not be part of your life. She not your friend.  Ex lovers should not have these talks.  Your DH haven't breaker away from his ex