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Feeling blue.....

BM never's picture

Submitted by BM never on Wed, 08/13/2014 - 2:16pm

Last night I felt so crappy I took 2 Paxil and I feel like a need a handful today. I told DH for the 50th time that I was not happy and like always he told me why I should be happy. We both have good jobs, we have a huge beautiful home, he can ride his dirt bike on the property and not worry about getting caught, then have a cocktail and jump in the pool! That's all fine and dandy but I need things you cannot see. I want to feel fulfilled, I want to feel like my presence matters, I want to feel like I'm doing the right thing in life. I want to look back 20 years from now and be able to say I'm proud of what I've done and I have no regrets. Maybe I'm asking for too much. Maybe I should keep my wants, needs and desires solely on items that can be purchased off Craigslist.

Comments

AllySkoo's picture

Submitted by AllySkoo on Wed, 08/13/2014 - 2:32pm

Did you have anything particular in mind? It does seem like you need *something*. Volunteer for a local charity maybe? The local domestic violence center? Be a foster mom? Organize care packages for deployed soldiers? Teach a literacy class? It means lots of different things for different people, so what would make YOU feel fulfilled?

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Wed, 08/13/2014 - 2:33pm

What would make you feel fulfilled? Obviously your marriage is not. You have to take responsibility for your own future because it is uncertain at best.

thebrokenrecordmachine's picture

Submitted by thebrokenrecord... on Wed, 08/13/2014 - 3:28pm

Hi there,

I don't know what your Step-Family life is like, but obviously -it must be in a "Needs Improvement" stage, otherwise I don't think most of us would be on here lol. What is your husband not giving you that you need? Figure that out first.
Whether its space from his kids, his ex etc...identify what you "Can" change. We can't change that our husbands have kids, but we "Can" Change how we deal with them or how he deals with them.
I hope you are doing okay, the above advice is good, volunteering. Sometimes the best therapy is to keep yourself physically active.

It "seems" there is something missing that your life is not giving you, as I mentioned identify what that is and work on it, until your happy.

I used to blame my SO for not keeping me entertained*(all the time) it is his responsibility for him to be the best partner he can be, it is not his responsibility to keep me entertained 24/7- not sure if that's applicable to you.
But that was a hard lesson for me, blaming him for my unhappiness, the only thing I think he has responsibility for is him procreating with a Selfish B & letting her PAS his kids! If his prior family responsibilities are getting in the way of you being emotionally fulfilled, please address it with him and see what changes can be made, so all parties are happy. One shouldn't suffer at the expense of another.

I hope you feel better tomorrow! Don't worry I had a really shitty night yesterday, but I can totally blame that on hormones, LOL!