Same. My dh is in a foul mood the entire time homeless looking feral child sd9 is here 5 days a week. I find that he is better when I am relaxing in the living room and do not mention the skid presence at all. However last night the child was on her phone internet at 9 pm even though she was supposed to be in bed at 8. I’m the bad guy for asking dh to shut off her phone. I told him it’s house rules so he needs to go enforce it. He did but grumbled the whole way upstairs. 

Dh says he is tired from working all day and doesn’t want to deal with this at night. The house rules are in place to assist him with this, but even then I just sit and do my knitting or something to take my mind off it. 

Its so odd. I’ve never seen people except divorced parents in consistent foul moods when their kids are around. One of my girlfriends is the same way. She has 3 rambunctious boys and she says it’s just too hard parenting alone after she’s had a long days work. She is aware of her moods and says she did not get like that until after the divorce. There should be a case study on this phenomenon lol

I have definitely noticed this with my DH.  He actually starts getting grumpy before he even gets SD.  He would never admit it though.  I think he finds her as annoying as I do but he won't correct her or actual address it so that is his problem.  I know I start getting anxiety when it is time for our weekend with her.  I am now disengaging more and finding other things to do when she is there.  She is his child and his responsibility not mine.  Heck even my ODS(12) has noticed how different DH is when SD is there.  He is overly sensitive and concerned about her feelings and needs but grumpy with the rest of us.  

My DH is like that too. His whole demeanor changes shortly before, and when skid is here, and you can see he's stressed and unhappy. He becomes more withdrawn, moody and tries to "keep busy" so he doesn't have to deal with the brat when she's being a nightmare. She's reduced him to locking himself in our bedroom and crying because of the foul things she's said to him. Her reaction was so callous and she only started crying because she thought it'd get her attention from her mother, but all it did was get her in trouble. She didn't care she'd hurt her father's feelings; she just hated that her plan didn't work. He clearly loves the skid, but she's such a nightmare and it's like having to be with a mini version of ex-bitch in our home. The older she gets, the more apparent it becomes that the apple plopped straight down. DH will never admit it, but he's obviously happier when she's not here. Her behaviour over the last few years has severely eroded their relationship. We all used to be so close and she was with us half the week, and never declined visits. Now she regularly declines to come here, her visits are shorter and she's a sullen brat (unless she's being given money or new things), the entire time she's here. She only stays here alternate Saturdays now and goes back Sunday afternoons, and seems to be happy with that arrangement. My husband is sad that their relationship has dwindled the way it has, but we've not treated her any different to how we used to. She's just too much like her mother and to top that off we have nothing in common with her. If she didn't look a little like DH it'd be a wonder that she was even his at all. She hates that we have rules and that we don't spend a fortune taking her on fancy day trips every time she's here. She expects to be treated like it's her goddamn birthday every time she comes here or she'll misbehave or completely withdraw. She's deliberately disgusting and lacking in hygiene and basic respect for even her own space. She thinks she's amazing and the world owes her everything and everyone is on the earth to cater to and worship her awesomeness and genius, neither of which are the case. She's disgusting, a horrible person and thick as 2 short planks. My SS who was by a different woman is an amazing person; a credit to my husband. But SD is abhorrent. I guess if you breed with a piece of shit, you end up with a piece of shit spawn.