I hate BM I mean like really hate her
I'm lucky, I mean BM doesn't do a lot of the things that other people on here deal with but I still feel such resentment and hate for this woman. I think I fiqured out some of the reasons though.
1. My DH quit school and worked two jobs so that BM could go to college and get her nursing degree, she didn't work at all just went to school. Hell she didn't even take care of her kid when she got home she had my MIL do it. She kept them together even though my DH was already wanting to seperate till she was done with school by guilting him about SS, then as soon as she was done with school she was fine with seperation.
2. She then moves an hour and a half away so she can live rent and utility free and be able to foist her kid off on her grandma whenever she wanted to. My DH gets his every other weekend but loses his midweek because a three hour drive doesn't make since for a 3hr visit.
3. She proceeds to make 3x's what DH makes and have no bills and get child support still not having to watch her kid.......even when she is home. Her grandmother even would come and make breakfast for SS in the morning because they all live in trailers on her grandmas farm.
4. Fast forward my DH gets little input in his sons everyday because he is just far enough away to make it difficult and SS is starting to have problems. They get him to doctors and he has evaluations, SS has ADD. I just wonder if she had been willing to live up here and had let DH help if it would have got so out of hand. If she had stayed close enough that he could take SS while she was at work when he wasn't working and SS had some order and the doctors recoamendations for ADD would have been followed would SS be easier to handle?
5. She dates all the time, she already works 60+ hrs a week and then does she spend her free time with her kid.......no. My mom was a single mom and she never dated she was with her children all the time, she kept our house clean and cooked all our meals from scratch because she says we were so much more important then any man. No I don't think it should be that extreme but she does have every other weekend free, why doesn't she date when SS isn't there, hell she has all summer free doesn't even call SS she has plenty of time to sow her wild oats and party.
6. She gave up the weekend she would have had this summer because she said she had to work the whole month every weekend......Got on her facebook......she had every weekend in June off work and spent every single one with her boyfriend.
7. She quizzes SS about my daughter even though according to DH our daughter is months ahead developmently then SS at her age trying to find some way in which she is better then me.
8. Her home is a pig pen, she never cleans and lets her little dog poop and pee everywhere because she doesn't take care of it properly.
9. She feeds SS only fast food and never cooks even though ADD doctors say that kids with ADD need regular good meals and no pop, so what does he get grease and soda.
Bottom line I resent her I resent that she makes tons of money because she has a high paying job that my DH gave up his education to get her and she gets child support while I stretch DH's much lower paying job to pay our bills. I resent that she doesn't take responsibility for her kids ADD care and follow doctor recomandations but lets him watch tv and play video games all day because thats easier for her even though every thing written on ADD says no more then an hour of tv or video games a day. I resent that she tricked DH when they were 19 and said she was on birth control when she wasn't and got pregnant to trap him and now I am stuck dealing with her and her child who most of the time I can barely stand. I resent that she exists in my world even though I would never put myself near someone so low class and crass by my own choice. I resent that just because she is an RN she thinks she is better then everyone even though she has no other things to distinguish herself, she is unattractive, under educated in every other area, and dresses skimpy when she is short and overwait. I was raised educated and went to good schools, my family made me take deportment lessons, I was taught to dress correctly and handle myself with dignity. I was accepted to ivy league based on my test scores but I didn't go because my family needed me, I went to a local culinary school and worked more then full time and supported my sister and her kids at the same time. I have always done what is right and it just bothers me that this woman is even in my world.
Sorry this is long but I just needed to get this all out so that I could fully see it myself, I am trying to move on from my resentment of her and I hoped putting it all down in print would help. DH and I's counciler said that we had to work on ourselfs first before working on the marriage and that we should write things down and let it out so here is my first list.
I think we all need a little therepy........What do you hate about your skids BM?
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Comments
I hate that she has to be
I hate that she has to be pushed to do what is right for her kids.
I hate that my DF played a roll in her being the lazy person she is. She thinks that she should on her ass while we support her kids. I blame them both for that.?
I hate that I have to live my
I hate that I have to live my life with such hate inside of me. I have been super depressed for about a week now ever since an incident with BM last week when she told my DH that I am the reason they do not get along. It eats me up inside to know that this bitch basically runs my life. I know I let her win by getting to me but I just can't control my feelings. I am almost obsessed with the resentment if that makes sense. I dwell on things she does and says that interfere with my life. I found out that I will most likely have to be a witness at the custody trial in November and that just makes me ill. Some days I just wonder if it is even worth it. I torment myself with worrying about this stupid crap. I hate it so much! And on another note I am already dreading Saturday and it is only Tuesday. We will have SD and DH has to work all day. He will leave for work at 8:15am and won't be home until about 6:15pm. SD will have me up early on my day off and will be running me ragged all day. Can't effing wait.
I hate that she will take
I hate that she will take them to get their hair highlighted and ears pierced but won't spend a dime buying them new clothes and shoes they desperately need.
I hate that on her weekends with them she drops them off at her parents and goes out partying, as if she can't stand to be a mother any longer than absolutely necessary.
I hate that when the skids are with her all they do is text DH saying how she sleeps all day and yells at them to be quiet and doesnt do anything fun, but when they are with us they still miss her.
I hate that after she cheated on DH she packed up and moved 2 hours away to live with mommy and daddy so that it would be a 4 hour roundtrip any time DH wanted to see his kids.
I hate that she never makes her kids take a bath and when they come over they havent showered in several days and their hair is tangled like they just woke up.
I hate that my MIL didn't have the courtesy to attend our wedding but still makes sure BM gets the Christmas gifts she still buys her.
Please refer to SMiFC's list,
Please refer to SMiFC's list, mine will mirror it exactly.
do we share the same one??
I hate her for not taking
I hate her for not taking care of her children the way a mother should. I hate her for guilting me into being a doormat and being her free babysitter for more years than I care to admit to...
I hate the fact that she can afford to get her and her daughters (my SDs) nails done weekly, hair done regularly, regular tanning bed visits(even though it's unhealthy), designer clothes, cell phones with unlimited internet access at the age of 10 (wtf), and she can afford to go on vacation when we can't and lasik surgery so she doesn't have to have glasses anymore. But she has to get extra money from us for senior pictures, class rings, frivilous crap, etc...
She had the nerve to tell me this last time she asked for more money that I should be thankful I have boys as they don't need as much material things. The reason I told her we couldn't is because of our copays to the hospital for my son's necessary surgery....(wtf priorities does she have)
Recently my husband told me he is not even sure his youngest daughter is his since they were separated at the time she was conceived. Of course, I did know the divorce was final before the child even turned one and his sister warned me about the ex. We are thankfully on the nine month countdown to the last cs check. The things I want to say to her......
What do I hate about BM?? I
What do I hate about BM??
I hate that I am blessed with not one, but two BMs
I hate their mere existance in my world. Neither is anyone that I ever would associate with in the real world, but because of skids, I am forced to.
I hate that they are both white trash losers, one hasn't had a job in about 10 years, the other has only ever worked part time, so both are always crying poverty and expecting that someone else take care of them.
I hate having to see their stupid names progammed in my DH's phone
I hate having to see their stupid faces from time to time at skids games or pick-up/drop off (this literally makes me sick to my stomach)
I hate that they wield skids like a sword of power over DH and are constantly using skids to manipulate something that always benefits THEM (BMs) in the end.
I hate that MIL is a drama whore and loves to keep in contact with BMs so she can gossip and then passes all kinds of useless information along to me when I have told her no less than 1,000,000,343 times that I DON'T CARE WHAT THE SKANKS ARE DOING OR NOT DOING!
There are probably at least a thousand more, but I HATE wasting my time hating on these skanks.
I hate that she was able to
I hate that she was able to make this kid and therefore I am forces to imagine the mister humping a dumptruck.
ugh...off to cleanse my mental palate with a unicorn chaser now