So as you all know SD17 chose to stay with her mother's mom. Which of course has been a NIGHTMARE. Grandma has no hold on her. She is out 24-7. And BM is lighting up our phone about it. Saturday night she posted a pic of herself in a half shirt, black mini skirt leopard nylons and heels with the caption of "fresh" underneath it. Now I don't know what "fresh" means but it can't be good and she was headed to a party with some people. BM called my SO around 10pm. He didn't answer. I was so proud of him. The next day we took our boys to MIL for breakfast and SD17 was there. We made a big family breakfast and of course she wouldn't come out of the bedroom. Then after all said and done here she comes with the phone and hands it to her father. He says uh huh uh huh yea ok well we will see. Then she proclaims I want to go back to my grams. So he took her (fine with me) in the car she told him she had gone out the night before and her mom flipped out and called her and made her go back to grams house. Well instead of going to BM's moms she decided to stay at SO mom's. That's fine. What ever. So SO said yea that's prob why your mom called me last night. Long story short I told him aren't you glad you didn't answer your phone so we didn't have drama all night long? This choice of her staying with BM's mom is their deal. As far as we are concerned they made the choice they all can deal with the issues that arise from her behavior. It would be different if SO had some backing from BM when she wants his help or if he calls her regarding something with SD17 but she doesn't. Last time he tried to co-parent with her and she talked to SD17 they were laughing about how SD17 was treating me. So why would he attempt to do anything anymore? It's pointless. She has already shown SD17 to disregard her father by the actions she shows when he tries. As a parent you can't laugh and agree with the irresponsible child then expect for her to listen when told to do something. Long story short he attempted to call SD17 last night to have a conversation with her about making good choices and being responsible and not getting herself into situations that could be harmful to her.. like drinking and driving or sleeping around etc. The conversation went sour with her screaming and saying I've heard this from mom I'm done listening I don't want to hear it anymore and she hung up on him. But yet she is "crying" all the time because WE are leaving her out of OUR summer. And she feels so sad that we are all making summer plans and she isn't involved and it's not fair the boys are getting to do this or that. UM EXCUSE ME? This is a choice SHE made. She is choosing to be an ass. She is choosing to be a jealous mini-wife to her father. She actually told her mother that she just can't like me because of the choices I have made regarding my daughter. MY daughter lives on her own. Works two jobs. Does she drink? I'm sure she does. Can I control that? Hell no. But I'm being judged for that therefore she just can't like me because in God's eyes thats wrong. What about SD17's sneaking out all last summer and drinking at the damn and sneaking boys into her grandmother's house for all night sleep overs. Seriously come on!!!!! BM calls to harp on me for that one thing thinking that is a GOOD reason to judge me. Are you kidding me!
I was a single mom for the past 11 years. I have done an amazing job with my kids. There is no BM and her crazy ass bullshit that will take that from me. Her and her daughter can go fly a kite. OOOH wait and here is another kicker. BM tells SO last night that the boys are use to the drama with their sister. They are use to the constant yelling etc and they have tuned it out and if we bring her into our home it's nothing they aren't use to. Well BM did you ever stop to think maybe MY kids are not use to that kind of household? Or maybe your own boys are TIRED of that kind of household? That the screaming and yelling 24-7 isn't good for any kids. And that isn't something ANY kid gets use to? What the hell planet is this chick from? I REFUSE to bring this girl into my home. I will not subject myself or my son to this crazy bullshit. I told SO last night I'm not sacrificing my summer or my sons for her. We will not live that way. He agreed. I understand she is his daughter. I understand he is obligated to her BUT he is also obligated to 3 boys and my son. And they are equally important. SD17 can't get her shit together so everyone has to suffer? Is this how BM seriously feels? And if she is that unhappy with where her daughter is staying why is she not coming to get her? Oh that's right she doesn't want her in her house because she is trying to mend all the damage she has done to her with her own BF. I love that this woman creates a MONSTER of a child only letting SO have about 15% of parenting then expects him to come in during 6 weeks of summer and fix everything that she has created. This woman needs a wake up call. And I pray that when she lights up his phone every day he keeps the strength up to keep not answering it.
On the flip side of all that SS11 and SS14 are doing great. We are having a wonderful time.