You are here

SD17 coming and I worry about my son who is going to be 14........ ANY IDEAS PLEASE!!!!!!

buterfly_2011's picture

Submitted by buterfly_2011 on Tue, 05/29/2012 - 12:46pm

SD17 is coming. Its going to happen. Two weeks from now. I am concerned for my son. He will be 14 this summer and at "that" age. And she i'm sorry to say this but is a whore. I will explain why I feel like she is then if I am wrong PLEASE tell me I am wrong.
She is and has been dating a boy for almost two years. Every summer she comes down here she sleeps around with the "local" boys. Last year a parent caught her sending naked pictures to her son. We live in a small town so sadly the boys talk. And she even admitted to ME that she was sneaking boys in her room at her grandma's house. I am sorry but to me that's a whore. IF the girl wants to date then ok. That's great. Go for it. But sneaking boys in in the middle of the night is NOT dating. Nor is saying your going to the drive in but actually going to a boys house for the night while his parents are gone. AND not to mention she has been asking my daughter about Anal sex and if my daughter has done it and if she likes it? My daughter told her how she felt about it and then told her that sex isn't everything and if that's all those boys want SD needs to rethink things. I know my daughter isn't perfect TRUST ME.. I know that she has made bad choices too. I just think maybe she learned from a few of them. So basically I know she is sexually active and I know she isn't picky about the attention. I am SCARED to death that she will try to put her GRUBBY little hands on my son. I know I know this is probably way out there. BUT my son is 5"11 and looks like he is 16. Not the mere 14 that he actually is. I am fearful for them to be alone in the house while we are working. I am fearful she will or he will do something stupid. Am I being CRAZY?????

I do NOT want this to happen to my son. I do not want him to be ruined. I do not want her near him. Oh just thinking of this and what could happen makes me want to puke. I know blended families live together and it's done without this type of drama BUT I think with all families every kid is different and this girl takes the cake when it comes to being manipulative and overbearing. I don't know what to do.

Comments

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Tue, 05/29/2012 - 1:17pm

I think you need to all sit down and discuss BOUNDARIES especially with the kids.

1. doors locked at night
2. no sibs, ie. these two in the same room at all except family room, etc.
3. no walking around in underwear or towels, etc.
4. bathroom time AM is X for SD, Y for BS...

You are concerned and honestly, you have every right to be. Heck, I was worried about my DHs loser daughter's influence on my awesome NEPHEW and of course, he doesn't live with us. Even DH realized his daughter would hump anything that walked and because he was a popular and nice looking guy also worried. We honestly never allowed contact...but your case is a bit different. But I would definitely sit down and have a talk. Make sure that each had their OWN friends. Separate lives, etc...

Good luck.

buterfly_2011's picture

Submitted by buterfly_2011 on Tue, 05/29/2012 - 1:31pm

They have only been around eachother maybe 7 times if that. Because of her BS drama.... they haven't really spent any time together. All of last summer she and SO stayed with her brothers at his mom's. We weren't allowed for sleep overs etc. So really it's only been a handful of times. They haven't had the grow up together background at all. They have only had the her come her throw tantrum SO leave with her or we end up staying home. She has only spent two nights in my house since SO and I have been together going on now 2 years.......... and the last time was in January and she has not been back.
Sadly SD17 Has NO Friends. She burnt all her bridges from here last summer. Her dependency on her dad mainly. She wouldn't go anywhere without her daddy by her side and when she did it was with one of the four boys she was going out with to the movies or the drive in... (meaning bonfires in the mtns and out to the damn to drink)

I want to sit down and talk about boundries for when she comes. I have asked that all three of us talk but I feel that will peg me as an even meaner SM. How is that possible? I'm not sure but I'm sure it is. I want boundries. I want rules. This is not a free for all. I feel like I should have a lot of say on what is going to be going on in my home while I'm working 8-5 and SO is working 6-4. I have found phamlets for all the boys regarding camps and day stuff. But my son isn't interested. He is interested in some sports camps and he wants to work this summer so I am trying to find something like that for him to get him out of the house as well. I just think it's sucky that I am having to do all of this simply because SD17 is on her way in tornado mode. But I am not willing to take chances regarding my son. And I don't want her near him.
I have asked SO to ask SD17 to stop walking around in towels and underwear. She does it then he has to go remind her. So I fear that will just be out the window while we are not home. Just so many what if's going on in my head.

How do you suggest I approach SO with setting boundries etc? Or rules? Do we do it with SD or by ourselves then he talks to her? I'm afraid if we do it together she will view it as it's all me and her daddy would never ask her to do those things or think she would be inappropriate.