I think this is my first blog ... I've posted some comments here and there ... here's the background:
SO has two daughters (almost 12 & 13). I've been with him for almost 3 1/2 years. I knew going into the relationship he was a full-time student with no job and I was okay with that as his family helps out a lot with taking care of the girls. He received very little CS, has the girls 50/50 every other week. I moved an hour+ away from my job to live with him. The agreement was he would pay for food with his state assistance if I cover non-food items, my half of rent and cable bill. His father is kind enough to pay for the electric/heat bill. So, needless to say, it has been very difficult for me to afford any "extras" for myself as I was accustomed to before being with him (I was married for 10 years with no kids and 2 decent incomes that allowed me to pick up shoes, clothes, weekend getaways with friends, etc). But, I suck it up because I care for him and his kids.

Today I got upset because he got out of class early, didn't call me, decided to go to Goodwill, while I was waiting on a phone call from the vet about my dog (who has had some serious medical problems the past 2 years) ... he was going to go get her after class. So no call from the vet, I am worrying and then a phone call from him around the time he usually gets out, me thinking he's just getting out of class ... nope! He had been out for over an hour ... went to Goodwill, got something for the girls and goes to see them and his ex-stepson at their new house and drop off what they got him ... all while I'm thinking who knows what about my dog (she is my "baby") and that he is still in class. I ask where he got the money to purchase something since I had just given him gas money today and knew he was out of the loan money he had for this semester. He tells me he got CS today.

So this is what's really getting to me - I agree to pay for non-food items out of MY paycheck ... I pay for things HIS KIDS sometimes need for school every now & then, not all the time ... I pay for HIS KIDS hair products, bath products, some clothes sometimes, etc. And when he does get CS, he goes to Goodwill (yes, I know how cheap things are there) and purchases things ... or sometimes buys his beer with it ... while I'm spending MY money on him and his kids ... it's getting to a point where I am resentful of this and I feel like telling him I don't want to do it anymore ... but how can I do that after 3 1/2 years?! And the fact that he chose to do that when getting out of class early rather than going straight to the vet to see what's up with my dog! She has had 3 surgeries in less than 2 years and he knows if something else comes up I have to put her down, she can't have any more surgeries. I'm just upset and pissed and ... well, you name it!

I apologize if this makes no sense, but I just needed to say something about it before it boils up in me any further!!