BM brand new drama is so hilarious
Hi all,
it's been a while since i've been there. Just because my toddler takes me all my energy and because SS never visit us until last week.
SS who is now 11 didn't visit us during 5 months. As you may know if you red my older post, SS is "old and mature enough" to decide wherever he wants to go for holidays.
Usually, BM sends him to MIL, who is high conflict with us, but this time, for a reason we still ignore, she decided that it was OK to let him come home "until he wants to leave". So SS went last week, and decided to leave back MIL 4 days later.
SS is in secondary school since this year, and has now lot of homeworks. He cames with his bagback but didn't finished them (he only spent 4 days here, the rest of holidays were at MIL)...
Then, today he get back to school and got a 0/20 at maths and a 1/20 at french.
Guess what ?! BM called DH to tell it was all on our falt, that we didn't help SS with his homework etc... All these allegations were backup by SS who told he was all alone with his work (which is absolutely false but the point is not here).
It was hilarious ! we only saw SS 4 days in 5 months BUT we are responsible for his poor grade (which are bad since the beginning of the year).
Last funny fact, BM waited until this evening to discover that SS didn't finishis work and learn his lessons (he came back to her on Saturday) What a super mother ! What an epic moment
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Yeah. So youve got failure-at-life at 11? Wowza. SD16 SMPS is failing 2 classes. I am having flashbacks to 2020 at home school session whereby I was asked to help out and when I did got crapped on.
Well, take a page from my playbook of experience - stay disengaged. You do not need to concern yourself.
Hi CLove,
Hi CLove,
Fact is that i love school & homework. My parents are teachers and i always loved to work as a pupil and help others (i tutored kids many years when i was a student)
But since last year, evertime i helped SS with that, it always ended either in me being a monster to make SS work during holidays or SS work going direcly to trash when he get back to BM (she made SS remade all homeworks because it wasn't good enough for her).
Now i'm fully disengaged and the only thing i do with SS is just asking SS if he needs help of if he wants me to check his work. He always answer "no thanks i've finished" and it's ok for me.
MOTY
Will find endless excuses but namely the divorce will be blamed for poor school performance.
So true ! It's exactly what i
So true ! It's exactly what i think !
But BM has another child and i'm not sure he will do better due to poor family environment...
So we'll see !
"Oh, ma pauvre cherie ... If
"Oh, ma pauvre cherie ... If you can't handle his schoolwork, I'd be happy to take over custody and child support ..."
Call the dear lady's bluff! She'll back down fast enough. Make sure she understands that she's the one who's failing.
DH made a great response : "i
DH made a great response : "i don't understand at all - i have a message from you saying he is a super mature kid and old enough to decide his holidays plans, and now you are saying that you have to check on him like he was 5? A super mature kid would'nt lie about homework and would be able to evaluate if work is done".
Then he said he was not feeling responsible for SS bad grades since he only sees him few days in the semester and suggested to take full custody if she wasn't capable to handle secondary school.
Excellent! He hit all the
Excellent! He hit all the right spots in very few words. She must be smarting right now lol
Cue in bio mum playing victim “what a horrible exhusband you are
Trying to take my kid away from me" boofriggin hoo.
women like this its never their fault or responsibility, its always someone elses problem and fault, always is.
Exaclty ! Even when DH has no
Exaclty ! Even when DH has no more option to educate SS, it's again his falt
My husband’s exwife after divorce disowned ss, basically told
My husband to take him that he never listened to her and was failing in school. Kid was traumatised by her and abused by her but as kids never wanted to admit to authorities or gove details to dad, his hands were tied.
my husband got sole custody of ss12 and biomum got sd's who were 16/17 and 7 at the time. Ss had weekend visits with biomum alternate weekends. When she disowned him and claimed he wouldn't listen to her and palmed him off to my husband, she ended contact and blamed ss for choosing dad.
ss was good at school, had tutoring etc. biomum was so batshit unstable that ss couldn't focus. After ending contact for 7/8 yrs, eldest sd now an adult claimed biomum was all good now and she-so called messaged my ss with bullshit like she was a good person. Ss to this day even 4 yrs on after biomum contacted him, refused to see her.
she's also disowned sd's too so when eldest sd now almost 27 makes bullshit lies and sob stories to my husband guilting him for marrying me or having kids with me, he reminds them by their own admission bio mum abandoned them years ago and they have no relationship or contact with her and her family so therefore i am the only positive mother figure and family they have and out of petty bullshit, they've chosen to destroy any chance of a relationship and thats their loss.
my husband made it clear that they made their choice and he wasn't gonna play their game of choosing them over me and our 2 young kids who are 5.5 & 6.5 now.
even sd's blame me and our 2 kids for why they have a non existent relationship with their dad. They blamed us when my kids were 2 & 3.5. Reality is they chose to play a manipulative game with my husband which he wasn't caving into and they refused to meet up with him and continually cancelled last minute. Hubby wasn't gonna ruin time with us by having them play games with him
Oh gosh ! And how is your SS
Oh gosh !
And how is your SS now ?
On the flip side when my SD
On the flip side when my SD started doing bad in school BM put her in tutoring and gave DH the bill.
Yes it's what she has
Yes it's what she has suggested few weeks ago when SS began to came back with really bad grade.
DH refused to paid for tutoring because it wouldn't help SS. First things to do is to control screen times (SS spends 5/6 hours on phone/play/TV during school times), set up healthy routines (Doing his homework every day and learning daily lessons after school days) and make sure he is in a great environment to work (which implies not sending SS every WE and holidays to MIL who doesn't give a care to school).
Sounds like your DH is on the
Sounds like your DH is on the ball about this. I absolutely agree about what he thinks should be done to improve the situation. It's all basics really but if BM is determined to be her son's BFF and not his parent well ...
Who pays for the kid's phone? There might be ways of limiting the time he can use it.
Hi winterglow, yes i share
Hi winterglow, yes i share your opinion
I'm really proud of DH position, even if it's really sad for SS. DH can't participate to SS education and now he doesn't feel gulty of the results of BM decisions.
About the phone, BM is mastering all the process, she paid for an illimited access to internet, buy everyear a brand new phone (in septembre he had the new iphone which costs 1000€ !) and let him with it 24/24h.
Well let’s think about this
First of all it can not be BM fault, she is great, so great she doesn't have to parent for her kids to do great. But BF is not doing his part . That why the kid is failing, He should throw money at tutoring, prep classes, new computers, new phones. So his kid will learn.
In this perfect life no one has, ie BM has to do anything. And everything just works out. Think that's a movie like this Someone has to parent, parenting is hard. But someone has to do it. Actually there is only two people BM and BF
Yes you'r right ! She is so
Yes you'r right !
She is so great she doesn't have to parent SS who spends his week-end anywhere except to our home or hers !
And SS was supposed to magically have good grades if only the 5 days he spent home wouldn't have destroy his education !
If he's old enough to decide
If he's old enough to decide whose house he wants to stay at, shouldn't he be old enough to do his work "alone"?
Both my SSs got an F in English class, but they are rarely at our home. I doubt BM even knows they failed...when she figures it out, I'm sure she will just go in and cry to the counselor about how they can't do the work, so their grades should be adjusted. In the past, this has worked. If that strategy doesn't work, she has their teacher changed.
That's exactly what DH said
That's exactly what DH said to BM ! What ? Are you realising that he's not as mature as you though ?
But no... according to BM, WE are in charge of school and responsible for bad results because he spent 5 days home.