I’m done helping SS with school education
Last time SS went home, he had a tons of homeworks to do. Of course he didn’t do anything on his week at MIL and he had everything to do.
The most difficult was an essay about an historic character. Plus BM called DH x times during the week to put pressure on homeworks (as if he never does his when he is home… which is totally false).
SS has many school difficulties, and things go everytime worse.
I worked with him very hard to make his essay + make him understand what he was writing and studying. I spent an entire day on it and DH took him on a city tour safari picture (we have the chance to live in the city where the historic character was born).
Today was the presentation. I asked SS by sms how his prestation was. He said he had a correct grade, but i was suprised. why didn’t had he a better one ? I asked him if he changes anything on the work he has done here, and he said that SF and BM made him change everything because the essay was too long and boring.
Oh god ! BM and SF have no degree and never graduate from anything. They stop school at 13/14 yO, and have low qualified jobs. By opposite, i have a master degree and a thesis and studied during 8 years after high school. I know degrees are not good indicator of intelligence or smartness, but, oh god ! I think i’m more qualified than BM and FIL to make a 10 yo kid work on an essay !!
It may be childish but i have the impression to loose my time with this kid !
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they may have thought that
they may have thought that the work wasn't his any more.. that you had done too much to change it and that the teacher may have thought one of his parents did the work not him...
And.. I wouldn't be upset at your ss.. it's not like he was going to be able to argue against his mother..
Just take this experience and learn from it.. sometimes you can do "too much".. and sometimes the help you give won't be accepted.. just the way it is. you can lead a horse to water and all.. but the herd may not let him drink it.
Hi ESMOD,
Hi ESMOD,
I understand your though. However, and to clarify : i made him work on the subject and understand it with metodology and of course it was adapted to his class level and his own capabilities. When i was a student, i worked with kids to help them with homework so i know what teacher expect from them.
Which means it wasn't an adult essay but a kid essay at the end.
The good part of it is the he was capable of relating and explaining with passion all the history of the character, and fun facts about him. At least i hope the things he learnt will stay in his mind for the future (this character will be studied next year).
But as you said, you can lead a horse to water and all.. but the herd may not let him drink it !
But i spent too much energy and won't do it anymore if my help isn't appreciated by queen BM.
BM won't ever appreciate it..
BM won't ever appreciate it.. haha. Your SS may in time appreciate the help you gave.. even if he wasn't always able to "use" that help due to his mom's issues. I say.. as long as your SS seems to welcome your help.. and if you enjoy it.. you can keep doing it.. but have zero expectation that BM will ever recognize your help.
Yes sooo true ! It's even
Yes sooo true ! It's even worst than no recognition, it's denial !
You're not doing it to get
You're not doing it to get appreciation from queen BM - you're doing it for SS, and for your husband, who presumably would be helping if you weren't doing it. Now that you know your efforts with SS aren't appreciated and perhaps are wasted, you should just focus on your own child and let your husband meet his son's needs. You have the right idea - be done with it. And the thought of getting appreciation from BM? LOL, not going to happen.
Yes you are right ! I'll
Yes you are right !
I'll focus on things where my help is appreciated.
But what the point of BM pushing about this essay if all SS, DH efforts & mine are wasted ? Pffffff
And SS didn't even used the pictures he took with DH. He throw them away and used pictures from the internet.