Double Standards & Other News
BM just emailed DH letting him know that BM, GF, and SS10 will be going to Tennessee next weekend. BM didn't provide specifics, but I assume it is for GF's birthday since that was this week. This also means that SS will miss a football game.
I have worked really hard these past few years, trying to accept the limited time we have with SS, but this stuff still bothers me. BM made it her hill to die on during our court battle that DH could not get more summer/fall visitation with SS due to football and that SS could never miss a football game to see DH. The courts agreed. Yet, every year, SS misses at least one game due to BM - one weekend for BM's friend's wedding, one weekend for GF's birthday, one weekend to go visit BM's family in our state, etc. This double standard in particular pisses me off to no end. Again, DH isn't worth a visit from SS, football is more important, but football still doesn't trump BM's plans or agenda.
In other news, DD had her helmet appointment on Thursday and we are getting her a helmet. It has to be ordered out of AZ and should arrive in two weeks. We are excited for her to receive it and we hope it makes a difference in improving her flat spots and asymmetry. She will have to wear it 23 hours a day for several months. We will not be bringing it with us when we visit SS at the end of September, as I don't need the judgement from SS, who will report everything back to BM and GF. Plus, I'm sure BM and GF will be at the football game too, so they would see DD firsthand. I just don't want BM or GF knowing anything about DD or the medical stuff she has going on. I asked the doctor and she stated that DD's progress cannot regress, so leaving it off for 24 hours won't do any harm.
- CastleJJ's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Yes, the double standards are
Yes, the double standards are maddening. BM claimed SSs could not miss REC LEAGUE BASKETBALL games for visitation (they were not good enough to make their school team) yet there was no problem missing during HER weekends. I remember shaking my head upon learning one weekend that another player on their team missed one of their games to go to a college basketball game with his dad (intact family.) Different set of rules for us. And yay, I'm glad your DD is finally getting her helmet. Prayers it corrects the situation quickly and painlessly.
What is with these BMs and
What is with these BMs and their double standards?! No sport/activity in the world is more important than a child's relationship with a parent, yet to all these BMs, Dad is nothing and not worth the time. I would love to see what would happen if a BM was told that a sport or activity is more important than a child's relationship with BM. Their heads would explode.
Hey, Castle,
Hey, Castle,
I am also glad to hear that your little gal is being fitted with a helmet for her deformational plagiocephaly.
My good friend M, an uncommonly attractive woman, has twin boys, now 35 years old and as handsome as their mother is beautiful. The boys developed deformational plagiocephaly before cranial helmets were available and, as a result, their heads are noticeably abnormal. Even with fluffy hairdos, the deformity is impossible to disguise. Fortunately, infants learn to tolerate more discomfort than older children can bear so your daughter will likely be fine with her new chapeau.
Please keep us posted as to DD’s progress as I would love to hear how she responds to treatment. And Hon, please, no more guilt feelings! You are a good mother (unlike you-know-who, best ignored) and have absolutely nothing with which to punish yourself. Furthermore, I’m in full agreement with your decision to deny that Great Bitch and her cohort any medical information about your DD’s condition. She’s bound to gloat since her own child is the essence of perfection (or God help him).
Thank you for the kind words.
Thank you for the kind words. The clinic said DD should respond well with treatment and that it should close to fully or fully resolve her asymmetry and flatness. I feel better now that we are getting her treatment.
I think it is hard for me because SS met all of his milestones and didn't have these issues, so it makes me feel guilty and a little ashamed that we are facing this. DD has struggled to meet milestones. DD will visit SS without her helmet to keep this experience private from the spying eyes and ears of SS, BM, and GF. I know SS has other issues and will likely develop issues down the road due to BM's poor parenting and narcissism, so I do try to keep that in mind. SS may be "perfect" but I would be ashamed if my child had his sense of entitlement and overall disrespectful attitude.
But SS has all these other
But SS has all these other "issues" that have arisen...so he's not the perfection his mommy dearest would like to convey either. My BD was born without adult upper lateral teeth (very common) I was devestated, but it is fixable and we chose the best course of action for her. We all get the mom guilt, just remember you are doing everything and that's what matters most.
Rules for thee
But NOT for me. SOP for the HCGUBM.
Good idea to keep the BM/GF/SS clan from getting into your DD's personal business. I'm sure all will go well and she won't be an entitled narc that SS is being raised to be.
We once took SD(23 at the
We once took SD(23 at the time) on a family vacation to Mexico. BM lost her mind!!
She blew up DHs phone; do you know what happens to blue eyed blond girls in Mexico, they get kidnapped and raped, I'm so angry with you I can barely breath, you'll be drunk passed out somewhere and my daughter will be dead in a ditch, and much more.
It. Was. Insane.
She had SD up all night on the phone trying to talk her out of going with us, telling her to not show up at the airport.
We went, had an amazing time and bonded as a family. That's what BM was really afraid of.
Six months later, BM takes SD to . . . you guessed it MEXICO! Guess the rapists and kidnappers were taking that week off.
Oh dear lord! We almost took
Oh dear lord! We almost took SS on a cruise a few years back and when getting BM's permission to take him out of the country (due to her sole custody), she was himming and hawing about the dangers of human trafficking in the Caribbean countries and whether or not she was going to allow him to go. The funny thing is, BM had never been to any of our scheduled destinations and was basing everything on what she heard on the news.
We ended up taking him to Disney instead due to a change of family plans. BM still tried to ruin it by interfering with pick-up, threatening to not send him, and making us jump through hoops to pick-up SS by changing the pick up time and location (to the local FBI headquarters aka GF's old work). We had to go to court on an emergency injunction 2 weeks before our trip to get the issue settled to the tune of $3k. Ultimately, BM didn't care about us taking him to Disney because she had already taken him two years prior. You're right - it was about fear of bonding. The difference was, we actually spent time with SS at Disney. We had a lovely week and got to experience a lot. SS had said that BM and her family only went for 2 days at Disney and they left SS in the hotel room with his grandparents while the other adults enjoyed the parks. Yeah, sounds like loads of fun for SS.
BM promised SS a 3 week trip to Europe (supposed to be in 2023). She promised it years ago and we've never heard about it again. But they've gone to our state camping for 4 days, to Arizona for a week, and to Tennessee for 3 days which are all either a few hours car ride or a few hours plane ride away from her. Ironically, the only time she could take him anywhere for three weeks consecutively would be during summer, which would either interfere with DH's visitation or the "can never miss" football, so it'll be interesting, if they do go, to see how she manages that.
I told DH that I don't plan to make a big effort of taking SS with us when we travel. If it works out, it works out. If not, we will plan our trips for when he isn't with us, which is really easy to do since he is only with us 6 weeks per year. DD will experience trips how we want her to experience them and I'm not going to let BM or SS ruin her experiences.
Yeah because we know all
Yeah because we know all Mexican men simply can't control themselves when they come across someone with blue eyes and blonde hair (eyeroll). How friggin ignorant.
Not to derail castle's post..
Not to derail castle's post... We went to Germany for a few days 5 years ago and I thought I'd blend in.. I'm blonde, fair, light eyes... LOLL not. We laugh about it still how the Germans were so rude to just specifically me in our group haha. Good times.
Don't worry about what BM, GF
Don't worry about what BM, GF, SSs thoughts are on how you guys raise DD.
I am bioless but don't get mom guilt on the helmet. I'm 36 so most of my friends have had or on their 2nd, 3rd child and I will say I see A LOT of babies with them. My nephew is about to get fitted for one soon. My brothers wife is a nurse so she doesn't few it any sort of negative way. They weren't around when we were babies otherwise I'm sure half of us would have had one lol.
Do you. Don't worry about them.