We Facetime with DH twice per week, usually on Sundays and Tuesdays. Last summer, BM accused DH of abuse and in her email accusations, she informed DH that SS is "very uncomfortable" with us eavesdropping on SS' phone calls with BM and GF during our visitation. We found this hilarious because it is impossible to eavesdrop on their calls; SS always runs directly to his room or the farthest room away from us, locks the door, and whispers to them like everything is a big secret. It's a huge production and what we have overheard involves BM and GF interrogating SS about us nonstop. 

Over the past few weeks, BM and GF have been clearly eavesdropping on our calls with SS. At first, it was minor eavesdropping like being present in the background of calls or making SS take his calls at the dinner table during dinner just so they could hear. Tonight, DH called and both BM and GF were not only sitting right next to SS, they directly contributed to SS' conversation with DH... they were answering DH's questions on SS' behalf and not letting him speak. DH never discusses anything personal with SS because we know they are likely listening, so they were answering questions about the weather, how the pets were doing, and what SS is doing this weekend. It was completely inappropriate. Do we address this with BM and request privacy during phone calls with SS or do we just leave it alone, especially since BM is high conflict and just does what she wants anyways? I just feel like it is unfair that they expect SS to be sworn to total secrecy while at our house, yet they can sit two feet from SS and talk to DH during what should be a private phone call between SS and DH/us only. 

I also don't know how to handle SS and DD. DD just turned 6 weeks old. SS will meet her for the first time in 2 weeks but I feel like he despises her. When we Facetime, we try to talk to SS about DD or show him DD. We don't do it a lot because we dont want him to feel resentment or feel like he has been replaced. We always make sure to give SS our undivided attention during calls. Every time he sees or hears about DD, SS gets a disgusted look on his face and gets quiet, like almost silent. SS then always changes the subject. Should I be concerned or is this normal? I know that SS is a 10 year old boy who likely has little interest in a baby, but to show such disdain? I am sure BM and GF are painting a picture that DH has moved on and has a "new family" and that we don't care about SS anymore, but I'm just surprised by SS' reaction. I don't expect him to be excited about DD, but isn't it reasonable to expect him to acknowledge her existance? I don't know how we combat it.