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Tired of keeping my mouth shut

cbanu73's picture

My stepson has absolutely no boundaries or consequences for his actions. The kid is turning into a compulsive liar and it is driving me insane! Over the past 4 1/2 years, he has broken items in the home, lied about me, etc. and lies to his dad (my husband) about it all. It then turns into a HUGE argument between my husband and I because he can't believe his precious angel would do anything wrong. The kid is almost 13 yet he acts like he's 5. I want to scream every time I hear "daddy, I swear I didn't do it" and my husband believes him...WTF!!!

I feel like my marriage is on the brink of ruin and there's nothing I can do to stop it. We are currently not speaking. Yes, more problems with his child and he didn't like my advice. The kid won't do his homework and has major tantrums over it. I suggested that he not be allowed to do homework in his room, that we sit him at the dining room table where he can be monitored. Apparently this means I hate his son and don't want him around.

I've reached the point where I just don't care anymore. I'm not doing his laundry or cooking meals he requests or buying him shoes when his idiot mother won't. All I can think is that he isn't my child and why I am suffering over his atrocious behavior. I managed to raise a bright, articulate, well-balanced child ON MY OWN and I never had these type of problems. It is too much and I am left wondering if staying married is worth it. I love my husband dearly but the kid can take a hike.

Comments

cbanu73's picture

Thanks for the support. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy over all this. I have suggested counseling and even went on my own but my husband flipped out. I was having major anxiety attacks over his son's behavior and the resulting argument. The counselor said I wasn't the one who needed therapy...LOL There's no way he will go because he refuses to admit that his child has problems. All I have done is try to help and I get nothing but blame, like it's my fault his child has issues. I already said that I won't be left alone with him as he has lied about me quite a few times when I was left alone with him. I was "mean" to him and wouldn't let him out of the room, this was after I had taken him to get a magazine and a Slurpee..little brat!
I've realized that I can't win and there's nothing I can do to change the situation expect to remove myself when his kid is around. If my husband doesn't like it, then too bad. I didn't create the monster his child has become and it's not up to me to fix it.

DaizyDuke's picture

funny how two almost 13 year olds can be such polar opposites. My SS will be 13 in 2 months. He definately does not act like a baby, in fact he got caught shoplifting a couple of months ago, told SD that he has smoked pot, got in a fight at school, sends text messages to girls calling them sluts and whores, is probably going to fail the 7th grade, and I could go on and on (and this is only the stuff that I actually know about)

Funny, I'd almost take a snot nosed immature brat who doesn't like to do homework over what I've got. Guess be careful what you wish for, right?

cbanu73's picture

Wow,that is way worse. Even though my SS acts like a baby,I think that's all it is, an act to get Daddy's attention and to make him think he's this innocent little kid who can do no wrong. I recently found a paper in his room that said "Juicy Black Dildos Suck." The kid has gender identity issues and I'm waiting for the day he comes out. We took him to Target when he was 8 to buy him a toy (I had just started dating his dad) and he asked for a Bratz Doll. Yup. He also got into my makeup and asked if he looked pretty. My husband is this huge, masculine ex-football player and he's mortified by his son's girly behavior, yet he won't take him to therapy to see what's going on. Also, he got punched in the face last year by a kid half his size.. The list goes on and on and on.. Clearly both mine and yours have issues, they just express them in different ways. I honestly don't know which I'd prefer. I think if I hear the whiny "Dadddddy" one more time, I'm going to run screaming out of the house.