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Let it go?

Chmmy's picture

About 2 years ago, before I moved into Stephell, I left money in an envelope with my name to see if any would disappear. DH(boyfriend at the time) had an organizer in the kitchen where he put bills, schedules and junk to be organized. I stuck the envelope in there and I left it open just enough to see a small amt of green$$. The reason it had my name is it was the money I use for the kids I nanny. It was a $20, a $5 and a few singles + gift cards my employer leaves with me to take the kids out. I left the money there knowing exactly where it was and and how much...the $20 bill was missing when i came back a couple days later.

Which of the 4 skids is a lying thief? I will never know. Did I ever tell DH? No, he would make excuses especially since we have no proof of which kid. Will I ever tell him? Eh, who knows. I have told him his kids have done things that Im not even going to tell him about because he'd make excuses or even if he confronts the kids it only makes him a bigger asshole because he really doesnt do anything even if he initially confronts them about something. DH has harassed me to tell him because he thinks he can fix all! I said no, it will only cause further problems and it was years ago, really? Bring it up now? I feel like that ship has sailed.

My dilemma is Ive considered setting them up again but this time with a camera. I dont trust them. I want to know what im up against. Am i crazy? Should I just let it go? This marraige is already doomed. I guess Im just sticking around because I dont want to fail. 

I believe Aniki once sent me a link to find some nanny cams. It has to be discreet and something they won't take. They are skids so they are entitled to take anything. Anything left around is fair game for the skids to touch.

Comments

thinkthrice's picture

by all means do it.  I waited until my beloved senior cat had passed before revealing to Chef that she had an embedded BB in her hind quarters that wasn't there BEFORE Chef's ferals (who had BB guns and who almost shot each other for lack of Chef's supervision) darkened my doorstep with their entitlement sessions...errrr I mean "visitation. "

He IMMEDIATELY blamed the kid next door who was THREE at the time!!!!  I mentioned that I personally witnessed SD, the animal torturer, shoot toads in the eye, at the time, eight years old.

He went into complete denial; saying "you better forget about that idea!"  I have ZERO doubt it was the animal torturer!  Also I caught YSS, the house shitter, shoving and kicking my cat as well.  My now oldest cat would run for his life when he heard their cloven hooves clattering up the driveway and stay hidden until late at night when they finally fell asleep. 

Chmmy's picture

So sorry about the rough years you had with the ferals. I hope now that they are for the most part gone you & Chef have a happy life together. I hope he makes it worth it after years of the house shitter & animal torturer.

tog redux's picture

For once, I agree with CG.

You set this trap once, the kids stole from you, and you opted to marry DH anyway. It's not likely you will get the response you want, and if your marriage is at this point, it's doomed anyway.

Just continue with the exit plan you've been working on, and learn from this experience.

Chmmy's picture

That's what confuses me...I still married him. I had to live here to find out how bad it was but I knew it was bad before just not how bad it was.

I definitely ignored red flags and put myself in this situation with poor choices.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Chmmy, you never know what it's truly like until you live it. That has happened to a lot of us and why we're here. Because, no, we did NOT know what we were getting into! 

MANY people have ignored the red flags. Love is blind.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Let it go, sweetie. You're on your way out. Protect what's yours and move onward and upward. xoxo

Siemprematahari's picture

Let it go darlin'!

You already know your marriage is over and no amount of nanny cams and catching them on video will change that. Your H will sweep it under the rug and explain it away like he always does. He'll make excuses and you'll be repeating the same ole cycle yet again. This is not worth the time & effort. You should invest that energy into figuring out if you want to continue this marriage.

Let it go & be done with it all!

Chmmy's picture

Thank you all. I knew the answer. It's just nice to have so many seasoned step moms to back me up.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

You don't even have to be a SM to see that your H is being a big ol' poopiehead. {{hugs}}

ReginaPhalange's picture

Oh man!  I am currently going through this with my own SS18.  He stole two Championship rings from my sons room. DH isn't mad and made excuses for SS.  Lots of arguing with DH over the last week.  Come to find out, SS said he has them in his bag that must have fallen in there while he was sleeping.  BULLSHIT!!!  

It's a risky thing to do and will most definitely cause a problem with your DH, but I do feel like you'll feel vindicated.  It is such a violating feeling to have something stolen out of YOUR home.  That's where you should feel safe and comfortable.  Sometimes people will not steal if they feel they are being watched.  Maybe tell the kids that there is surveillance in the house so it doesn't happen in the first place. 

Chmmy's picture

I know I commented when you posted. Something about your loser ss being jealous of your bios success. Makes me mad that your bio is successful & has to deal with ss the loser.