If you thought it was awesome that SD21 passed the syllabus quiz, wait there's more. She got a 9/10 and an 81 on her quizzes this week. She has a group chat with BM and DH that she sends screenshots of her scores so they can say great job SD!! When she starts failing the screen shots will stop, happens every semester. She has about 7or 8 semesters under her belt if you include summers and she is still a freshman but she is having a fresh start at a new University so this time it will be different. This time, she is serious. Well this time DH is not paying for it nor is he co-signing. I told him how her impulsivity, lying, sneakiness, immaturity etc will not stop if he continues to bail her out. She got an apartment before finding out about financial aid and cost of living and signed the lease with BMs father as a cosigner and just expected DH to help. Honestly the tuition is affordable, only 7000 a year. We could have afforded to pay most if not all of it if not for her sneaky, I want everything RIGHT NOW, I can't wait 15 minutes for anything. I told him no way are we helping her...we'll see what he does behind my back, but I have access to all of his texts with SD and BM and their cute little group text that SD uses to make sure that her mommy and daddy are in constant contact and she is a part of it. DH does not know I have access to these messages and all other i-Messages(which are mostly work so I don't read them) He told BM he is not signing because of SDs behavior and he told SD in a different message that he couldn't cosign because he already cosigned for her car and last year's loan and SD18s car and it was too much. He actually listened to me and is following through. Where the hell am I? He is also following through on keeping the boys on track with school and no internet access after 8pm. I left for the better part of a month, but I've been back for 2 weeks. I stayed either with one of my sons or my parents for about 3 weeks total and sporatically came home for a couple days and left again. According to his mom I will break his little heart if I leave and she knows it's because of the skids...only it's not, it's his piss poor parenting which has actually improved for the last couple weeks. Has he seen the light that his kids are f'd up? He had a talk by texting with BM that he is worried about SS13 and his impulsivity from being on the spectrum and having no consequences his entire life. Again I was snooping and not proud of it but i need to know what is going on in my own house and my finances.  He would have cosigned for loans for her tuition and her $950/mo apartment if I hadn't snooped and found out about it just days before it was going to happen. She kept harrassing him, "did you sign yet?" You know he would have done it had I not told him, I am changing my name, it's an embarrassment to have the same last name as these people, and I'd be getting some sort of legal financial seperatiion from him if he did this. I don't know what I was going to do but divorce was not off the table. I can't be responsible for $100,000+ in loans which is what it would be if he allowed her to take out loans for tuition and her luxury apartment with a pool and a gym etc for 3 years. 

Well I'm not too optimistic but counseling has helped and DH has admitted to lying and hiding things from me in the past and he talked to the counselor about trust. He is also going to take SS13 to counseling. It took many years and doctors and educators for DH to finally admit his kid is on the spectrum. If he didn't like what a dr had to say, he'd switch doctors. Now he has an awful doctor who does nothing but prescribe the ADHD meds and tell him to drink ensure so he will gain weight when he got tall and thin. I said NO, we wont be doing that because now that his growth spurt is over he is fat again. All of the kids are heavy. The girls both lost weight but I know they will struggle to keep it off. I'll let you know if he caves. Someone suggested checking his credit to see if he applied for any loans. I might do that in a month when the tuition is due and she doesn't have the money to see if he continues to follow through.

Have a great day STalkers!!