Step kids
I dont have a clue where to start, but here goes. I meet this guy this year in March and we are now leaving together. Anyway he has to girls that are 12 and 10. When I first meet him they was not bad and they would come home from school and go to there room and do homework and things like that never really stayed around us mainly played in there rooms.. Anyway we are know engaged to be married in spring of 2011 and we have lived with each other for five months and since then the girls are really started to act out and I am to the point I am thinking about leaving.. Even my kids are starting to complain about they are mean to them and I will not have my kids unhappy some where.. Anyway the girls started out by acting out with school and not doing homework and pretty much failing school. Well the other day my fh went in to the girls room the other night and caught the oldest one butt naked and she peed in her closest and come to find out they both have been doing it for some while.. :jawdrop: I am just lost for words. It makes me sick to even think about it. I just dont know what to do.. They are very lazy dont do nothing and you ask them to do something they act like it will kill them they just want to watch tv and play video games 24/7 if you will let them.. I told my fh that they was watching way to much tv and they havent watched it in a while he did agree on that.. They wont go out side and play or anything.. Please help any input would be great.. Thanks
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You should be cautious,
You should be cautious, because things wont magically get better. You and FH should sit down and talk about some options. Make sure you are both on the same page, because if he isn't willing to back you up (and vice versa) and parent with you together, the SKids are going to end up splitting you apart. Make sure the SKids have time alone w their dad so they don't feel like he is being taken away from them. Counseling might be a good idea too.
I'd push the wedding date a
I'd push the wedding date a bit further out. Get counseling for yourelves and the children. You need more time and so do the kids. If you're already thinking of leaving, don't lock yourself in. It won't be fixed by spring, I can almost promise that.
No we have known each other
No we have known each other for a few years and started really dating in March and moved in together in June. but the kids before that we would take them to the park and have days just for the kids take them skating and to the zoo all together.. I have also told him that he needed to have time with just the girls as I have with my kids. Just seems like he dont have a clue when it comes to that I get really upset, but the girls dont even want to do things like that with him I have asked them cause I am really going to push that.. I feel he needs that time with them alone.. Also when they was younger the girls mother walked off and left them with him she left for another man.. Took the dog and left the kids..I really feel bad for them but then again they get under my skin as well.. I try and be a big part in there life but there mother really shows she dont want them.. Like she gets them everyother weekend and we have them the rest of the time and she picked them up on firday and told them she was going home and going to bed what a mother.. It was the youngest ones b day and she didnt even do nothing for her not even a cake.. I did have a little party for her with my family.. I am just really lost
Yes I have start counseling
Yes I have start counseling and going from there. we have talked about pushing the wedding back.. Dont think I am ready..
As someone who has worked
As someone who has worked with children and families for a while, Please get the girls into a DR. level therapist to evaluate what the concerns are. I have to assume that there are other significant behavioral issues beyond those that you have described and as such these girls need to get into see someone who has a significant level of expreience to make sure that they have not been harmed in the past. A good place to start is your family doc., they will be able along with your insurance company to face you in the right direction.
as for walking in on someone, I've knocked before and with the music on I'v walked in on some of my kids before but the combination of what your daughter is doing along with the other behaviors leads me to believe that more is going on.